


Like Smoke

by Nicxan



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Demon True Forms, Doggy Style, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Oral Sex, Power Imbalance, Riding, Romantic slow burn, Swearing, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:53:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 42,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25173427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicxan/pseuds/Nicxan
Summary: Gabriella is a servant to the Clergy who handles recruitment. She had been doing the same job for many years. Things change, for better and worse, when the Ghost project is revived.[On hiatus due to mental health issues.]
Relationships: Papa Emeritus I/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 32
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hooo boy this is exciting  
> This is my current Camp NaNoWriMo project! I've been wanting to write Gabriella for a while now, her backstory and all of that, and I finally got the push to do it. 
> 
> This will be updated every five days at 8 PM EDT! I'm excited to share this with y'all. ; v ;c I hope you enjoy!

Gabriella had never seen so many people in one room before. It was the first time she had ever heard ambient chatter in here.  
  
In and of themselves, those were pitiful things to say when there were only thirty potential Siblings in the chapel. Most of the ghouls were far too busy with other tasks to listen to the day’s sermon, and their human believers ... well. They were certainly few and far between and scattered about. It wasn’t very likely that they’d even come, especially if they had other duties to attend to.  
  
A shame, really. The newly-built church was small, but it was welcoming. At least, she thought so. Every time that Gabriella looked, she was taken in by how beautiful the stained glass windows were. They portrayed each demon so beautifully -- Lilith, Asmodeus, Belial ... the morning sun did them no justice, even while shining through the art, but it was better than nothing.  
  
Of course, Lucifer wouldn’t be outshone; not even by the sun itself. He watched over them all from the stained glass behind the altar, arms outstretched and emitting light from behind him. The black candles were already lit and the banners were hung proud. That, however, was only a stage. An intimidating stage, but merely a stage nonetheless. It wouldn’t be the star of the show -- not when Papa arrived.  
  
She had learned that lesson a long time ago, when she helped her mother decorate the first chapel. She had been so proud, so sure that people would remember her work -- but it all paled in comparison to the Papa that stood there. It always did.  
  
Gabriella was so enthralled and lost in her own memories that she nearly forgot why she was there.  
  
“W-Where ...”  
  
“You may sit in any pew you would like. Please, make yourself comfortable,” Gabriella said in a soft voice. She bowed her head in a show of respect and gestured towards the rows of partially-empty pews. The newest human that had come by thanked her meekly and rushed off, barely even making eye contact. Nothing new, and nothing unexpected. It was a miracle that this one came in at all, really.  
  
Gabriella knew that her meek appearance put people at ease. She wasn’t what people expected to see when a Satanic church opened their doors; that much, she knew. She stood at an even five feet, looking dainty as could be with her pale skin, her youthful face, her bright green eyes, and her lower back-length brown hair.  
  
Maybe they expected her outfit. That, however, was good. It showed an air of professionalism. No one would turn their nose up at a vest and buttoned shirt combo, nor would they think less of black slacks and flats. A shiny grucifix pin rested on the top left of her vest, showing her status as a Sibling they could trust.  
  
The bells chimed. The sermon was about to begin.  
  
Gabriella sprinted towards the massive wooden doors and peeked out of them, desperate for any last signs of life. At the sight of an empty staircase, she sighed and closed the doors. The thud echoed through the chapel room.  
  
For now, her work was done. She could take a break and relax, breathe and just enjoy the words of the current Papa. Gabriella smiled to herself and took a seat in the middle, her usual spot. The front wasn’t meant for people like her, and she was all right with that. As long as she got to hear Papa, that was more than enough for her.  
  
Gabriella tilted her head up when Papa Emeritus the First took his place at the altar. He wore his usual vestments, freshly ironed and pressed. They looked brand new, sleek -- impressive. The black and reds blended in beautifully with the rest of the decor, and the mitre stood out in comparison. The grucifix on the front of it glittered so beautifully in the sun’s rays. He looked intimidating. Stunning.  
  
Powerful.  
  
He had always been a remarkable man, really. She only ever got to see him in person here. Normally, he was only spoken about in whispers around the abbey. Some called him intimidating. Some called him cold. Others said that he was the scariest man that they’d ever seen, that he radiated sheer dark energy. Rumors always flew, and Siblings never hesitated in spreading them even further.  
  
Everything they said may or may not be true. Gabriella didn’t know, nor did she care to try and find out. Hardly anyone spoke to him and he was always holed up doing work. Only high-ranking ghouls were allowed to go into his chambers, even for a moment. They were usually out as quickly as they had gone in.  
  
Truly, Papa Emeritus the First was a mysterious figure. He was, however, incredibly devoted to Lucifer and their cause. So many people missed out on his passionate words and sound advice because of rumors. If that was their choice, so be it. Gabriella had other things to focus on for now.  
  
Papa’s eyes scanned the crowd. He was far too professional to let anything like a crowd make him pause, but Gabriella did see his eyes widen ever so slightly before he started speaking.  
  
“Good morning, my children.”  
  
A few Siblings, along with Gabriella, muttered a ‘good morning, Papa’ in return, but most of the new people remained absolutely silent. This did not discourage him. Papa only continued.  
  
“This day, we will be discussing the light of Lucifer, and how you may use His light to help achieve enlightenment. He is the pinnacle of wisdom ...”  
  
Gabriella hadn’t heard this sermon before. She was hooked on every word -- Papa had a funny way of doing that. She leaned forward in her pew, clutching her book tightly with both hands. When he told the small crowd to turn to certain verses, she did without hesitation. She read each and every word carefully, soaking in the thought behind each one.  
  
It was so easy to do.  
  
When he spoke, time had no meaning. All that mattered was the act of worship itself. Gabriella rejoiced in every moment spent in prayer, in song, and simply just ... being. Even though she had done this many, many times before, it always felt like a time to relax for her, a time to connect to what was truly important.  
  
Gabriella set down her book and clasped her hands in front of her chest in silent prayer. Even if she wasn’t allowed to fully pursue each and every avenue mentioned by Papa, she could at least take it all to heart and keep it all in mind in her day-to-day life.  
  
That, in the end, was the way to be devout. Her mother had taught her that, and Gabriella never forgot it.  
  
“... may Lucifer light our paths, and with His wisdom, may we gain true knowledge ...”  
  
“ _Nema_ ,” Gabriella and the other Siblings completed. It was a quiet finish, but it could be far worse. At least it was there at all. That was better than some days.  
  
Another bell chime. The sermon was over.  
  
Gabriella didn’t get up right away. She needed to put the book back for one, and the potential Siblings needed some time to mingle with Papa and each other. The sounds of idle chatter returned, and Gabriella smiled to herself in relief. There was potential today. While some rushed right for the door, many more stayed. That was a good sign.  
  
She sighed to herself as she stood, quickly smoothing down a few wrinkles in her clothes. It was time to go up there and ask what they thought. Hopefully some would want to stay. Gabriella smiled brightly as she walked down the aisle towards the crowd of people.  
  
She tried to hide her somewhat sweaty palms. It was highly unlikely that Papa would stick around for long, but it was still nerve wracking. She had to look and act her best in front of him. The pressure always got to her even after her years and years of service.  
  
All she could do was her best.  
  
“... it moved me,” she heard a woman say to Papa. Gabriella hung back for a moment.  
  
Wait. Was this the skittish woman from earlier? She seemed different now. Hesitant, perhaps, but wide-eyed and eager. She didn’t look like she was going to be bolting for the door anymore.  
  
“Would there be any way for me to try it here? I want to learn more, and it seems more welcoming. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but ...”  
  
“Of course. You are welcome here and we would be happy to have you.” Papa tilted his head up. Gabriella’s heart stopped in fear when she realized that he was looking at her. He promptly gestured for her to come over and she complied without hesitation.  
  
“Yes, Papa?” Gabriella asked with a small tremor in her voice.  
  
“Take this young woman over to Gamma, would you? He can get her started.”  
  
It was the first time he had ever spoken to her. Out of everyone here, out of all the Siblings, he asked _her_ to escort a potential Sister to Gamma? It seemed almost impossible. But standing there and gaping wouldn’t make a good impression.  
  
“Yes, Papa.” She bowed her head and looked over towards the woman with a smile. “Follow me, if you please?” 

* * *

Gabriella passed off the new Sibling to Gamma and finally had time to breathe.  
  
While talking to people always felt fulfilling and she could be satisfied with a job well done, it was nice to be able to take a break from it. Maybe she would be able to take a nice walk outside before lunch was ready. She could rearrange her room, too.  
  
There were too many options after the sermons. At least during the other days she always had something to keep her occupied. Right now, though, she felt just a bit lost. While relaxing seemed like a _lovely_ idea, she would most likely find a Sibling and ask if they needed help with anything. It would at least keep her busy.  
  
Before she did that, though, Gabriella would at least enjoy a leisurely walk down one of the many abbey halls. The sun still shone, the birds sang cheerfully outside, and the budding gardens provided a lovely backdrop during her walk. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Some of the tension finally left her shoulders.  
  
She didn’t hear the footsteps behind her.  
  
“Gabriella!” came Gamma’s voice. Gabriella blinked and turned around, baffled. Why would he be calling for her?  
  
He rushed up to her, panting from the exertion. He absolutely towered over her -- she drew back somewhat and felt her shoulders tense immediately. Not seeing a face didn’t help much, either. The panting came from an empty blackness of a face, no features to be seen. Typical for a void ghoul, but it was something that she was much more used to. It was unnerving for a lot of people -- not for her.  
  
She just wished he hadn’t nearly charged her.  
  
“Gamma! Are you all right? What is going on with the new Sister?”  
  
“She’s fine. She’s being fitted for her uniform now.” Gamma nodded in approval. “You did good. She wasn’t the only one that wanted to join, but she was the most vocal about it.”  
  
Gabriella couldn’t help but smile, her cheeks flush from the praise. “Thank you.”  
  
“You may want to hurry back the other way, though. Sister Imperator has summoned you.”  
  
Gabriella’s blood promptly ran cold. Her body went rigid. “S-Sister?”  
  
“Yeah. Better hurry.”  
  
So much for being able to breathe.  
  
She knew better than to waste any time. Gabriella charged down the hall as fast as her feet could carry her. It was a blessing that the abbey wasn’t crowded right now -- she more than likely would have run into someone.  
  
Why would Sister call her? Had she done something wrong? Did the Sister say something that painted her in a bad light? Had Papa noticed her fidgeting or gaping? Every possibility made her fear grow and it gnawed at her very soul. If she wasn’t careful, if she didn’t hurry, she may ... may ...  
  
_‘No!’_ Fear spurred her on through the massive hallways, but she refused to let it consume her. She’d cross that bridge when she came to it.  
  
By the time she came to Sister Imperator’s door, Gabriella was out of breath. She took a second to collect herself, much as Gamma had to do not too long ago. She triple-checked her hair and her outfit before knocking.  
  
“Enter.” Sister’s tone was sharp and cut like steel. Gabriella swallowed and then opened the door, taking care to close it quietly behind her.  
  
It would have been quite something to actually see Sister’s office, but all the details faded around her. The only thing that Gabriella saw -- the only thing that mattered -- was the woman sitting at her mahogany desk and the two ghouls that guarded her. All of them stared at her unblinkingly.  
  
Gabriella wilted under their gazes. Nevertheless, she stood tall and forced fake confidence. She strode over towards Sister Imperator’s desk.  
  
The woman was old, but she commanded every bit of attention. Her eyes were harsh with experience, and her posture made it clear that she was not a woman to be trifled with. She scanned Gabriella as she came up, then leaned back in her seat.  
  
“Good afternoon, Gabriella.” It was a much more pleasant introduction than Gabriella anticipated.  
  
“G-Good afternoon.” Was it afternoon already? Best not to wonder about it.  
  
Gabriella couldn’t bear to make eye contact. She stared at the carpeted floor, hands clasped in front of her in a show of submission. “You summoned me?” she asked meekly.  
  
“Yes.” Sister motioned for Gabriella to look up, and she did. “Don’t worry. You’re not in trouble. You actually come highly praised.”  
  
Gabriella didn’t dare to ask who had praised her. In fact, she didn’t dare to speak at all. Instead, she simply waited for Sister to continue.  
  
“Papa Emeritus the First has noticed a rise in the amount of recruits. He says you have been very personable with them and making them feel comfortable.” Sister probably moved, but Gabriella couldn’t see how. Her voice sounded closer, though. “For that, you have done well.”  
  
“Thank you, Sister.”  
  
“Now.” Sister snapped her fingers and Gabriella shot up. The ghouls around Sister glanced at each other, nodded, and then filed out of the room. The door slammed behind them as they left.  
  
The silence in Sister’s office was going to kill her, she was sure of it.  
  
“This information is confidential. Understood?”  
  
“Yes, Sister.”  
  
Gabriella’s heart began to race. She had come in here expecting to be reprimanded, to be carried away, but ... she had been complimented. Now she was getting confidential information? A terrified thrill shot through her spine.  
  
“We are reviving the Ghost project.”  
  
Gabriella snapped to attention immediately.  
  
“I had heard of that,” she said before she could stop herself. “Grand Papa Nihil had been a part of that, right? I remember when ...”  
  
Sister quickly cut Gabriella off. “Yes, yes,” she said flippantly. Sister waved her hand. “Good. Then I don’t need to go into detail about it. We’re reviving it, and Papa is going to be touring. He has been working on songs for the past year and we’re finally ready to release them.”  
  
“Touring?”  
  
“Yes. Touring.” Sister didn’t sound too happy at being interrupted. Gabriella quickly clammed up. “Are you done?”  
  
“Yes, Sister. I apologize.”  
  
“Good. Now. I thought that we could boost recruitment during the shows. At Papa’s recommendation, I want you to go along and help with that. People seem to trust you. You comfort them when they’re nervous. We can use that.”  
  
Gabriella’s heart nearly burst from her chest. Not only did Papa notice her, but he had sent a kind recommendation to _Sister Imperator_ of all people! She hadn’t heard a compliment from this woman in her entire life -- not before now. Had she really done that good of a job?  
  
“I can do that,” Gabriella agreed. She knew she sounded too excited, too cheerful, but how could she not be? Her grin stretched ear-to-ear when she looked up at Sister. “I would be honored.”  
  
“Now, I know you haven’t left the abbey before, so we will assign you someone who can help you keep your head on straight out there.” Sister raised an eyebrow while saying this. Gabriella flinched, but didn’t dare to speak up again. “You will meet her tomorrow. Are we clear?”  
  
“Yes, Sister.”  
  
“You’re dismissed.”  
  
Gabriella bowed, turned, and hightailed it out of Sister’s office. She didn’t even glance back.  
  
All she wanted to do was leap for joy, but doing so would raise questions. She wasn’t the type to have done that before, and she wouldn’t be now -- for her own security if nothing else. Gabriella didn’t want to risk anything. Jeopardizing such an opportunity would be foolhardy.  
  
She had been chosen to tour with the newly revived band! Her! She would be able to hear the songs played live as she worked, talk to numerous people, see the outside world, help their cause ... it made her feel dizzy. It was almost too much to take in.  
  
Gabriella had to tell _someone._ And there was one person who wouldn’t make a scene of it. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriella goes to tell the good news to her mother, and is interrupted by someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2, as promised! 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy. :3c

“Ooooh, I’m so _proud_ of you!”   
  
Her mother’s bear hugs were a force to be reckoned with. Gabriella let out a pathetic little sound as her mother nearly squeezed the life out of her. She was still smiling, but it was much more strained. And here she thought her mother wouldn’t make a scene of it -- she nearly fell off her bed with the force of the hug.   
  
“Can you believe they’re reviving it? I never thought we’d see the day! The band fell apart after Nihil, but now they’re bringing it back! Oh, I’m so excited!”   
  
Gabriella blinked. “Wait, you knew already?”   
  
Her mother would grin if she could, but not having a face made that rather difficult. The void ghoul simply tittered before patting her daughter on the shoulder.   
  
“We’ve been here a long time, dear. I was one of the first ones they told.”   
  
At least her room was sequestered away enough where no one else would be able to hear them. There had been many times where she counted on that, and this was not going to be an exception. Gabriella nervously glanced at the door, straining to hear if there were any footsteps, but there was nothing.   
  
Thank goodness.   
  
“You understand that I couldn’t talk to you about it, though. Orders, you know!” Her mother shrugged casually. “Impossible to _not_ follow them. One of the things about being a ghoul.”   
  
Gabriella chuckled sheepishly and then looked down at the sheets. She knew very well how ghouls had to follow orders. If given a command, they had to follow it. Being a half-ghoul herself, she understood the pull to serve. Sometimes, it was impossible to fight against the sheer force an order had.   
  
Gabriella stood and walked to her dresser. The mirror on top had been useless for quite a while now, but it wasn’t as if she needed it. Her glamour made it so she could keep herself looking impeccable even without the effort. Who cared how long it took to brush her real hair?   
  
Sure, her room was minimal. It barely had anything except for the bed and dresser. But it wasn’t as if she really needed any of it. She hardly spent time here. Yet, every time her mother came by to see her, she looked so sad when looking around. Why?   
  
“You know you don’t have to glamour around me, dear,” her mother said. Gabriella, snapped out of her reverie, turned to look at her. “I raised you. I know what you look like.”   
  
“No, it ...” She sighed heavily. “It is a habit at this point. I am sorry.”   
  
Her mother stared at her for a few moments. Gabriella hated it when she did this; it always made her feel like a child under scrutiny. She got that enough with meeting Imperator earlier.   
  
“I won’t push,” she eventually said. “But know that I won’t judge you for how you look. I’m your mother and I will always love you.”   
  
“Love you too.”   
  
Her mother, seemingly unsatisfied with that small pep talk, also stood and walked over to Gabriella. She crushed her daughter in another bear hug, nearly knocking the wind out of her.   
  
“You’ve been training for this your whole life, honey. I’ve watched you get better and better these past few decades, and now it’s gotten you this far.” Her tone was soft, warm -- everything that made Gabriella feel safe. She hugged her mother back tightly, refusing to let go. If anyone was able to comfort her, it was her mother.   
  
She had the motherly figure, nice and plump and the best at hugs. She had a tender voice, so soothing -- it was able to relax Gabriella when not much else could. Never mind that she had such a way with words. Yet, none of it was enough this time. Gabriella trembled in the embrace and cursed herself for it.   
  
“What if I mess it up?” Gabriella asked, a tremor of fear in her voice. “Sister Imperator --”   
  
“Gave you this job for a reason,” her mother finished for her. “And she said you’d have help. So don’t doubt yourself.”   
  
That was easier said than done, but the last thing Gabriella wanted was to make her mother worry even more. So, instead, she simply pulled back and smiled at her as brightly as she could manage.   
  
“Did they say when you were going to leave?”   
  
“No, but --”   
  
A knock at the door interrupted Gabriella. She shot an apologetic glance to her mother before rushing to the door. She opened it just a crack, then wider when she saw someone she didn’t recognize.   
  
“You must be Gabriella.”   
  
When Sister Imperator had mentioned a mentor, Gabriella hadn’t been sure who to expect. She didn’t recognize the tall, somewhat older woman in front of her, though. The woman didn’t tower over her, but she was definitely taller by a few solid inches. She was dressed impeccably in a black button-down shirt with a matching pencil skirt that reached her knees, which made her pale skin stand out. It flattered her curvier frame. Her blonde hair was tied into a messy bun, and her brown eyes were sharp.   
  
Well, she definitely looked like someone that knew what she was doing. Gabriella smiled politely and stepped outside, shutting the door behind her. Her mother would be fine in there for a little while.   
  
“I am,” Gabriella said. “Are you my mentor? Sister Imperator mentioned you.”   
  
“That’s me. You can call me Susanna.” Susanna extended her hand towards Gabriella. Gabriella gave her a proper, firm handshake. “Excited to leave the abbey for a while? Sister told me you’ve always been here.”   
  
“Since I was born, yes.” Gabriella chuckled, now feeling very ashamed. “Been alive for so long and have never left. Sort of silly, is it not?”   
  
Susanna raised an eyebrow and gave Gabriella a once-over. “Well, not shocking for a ghoul, but you’d think they’d let you outside at least once, especially if you look pretty human.”   
  
“I never asked.”   
  
Gabriella wasn’t sure how to interpret Susanna’s expression. Was it shock? Confusion? A mix of both? Either way, it perplexed Gabriella quite a bit. Was that a strange thing to do?   
  
“Don’t know why you haven’t, but it’s not my place to ask. Come on -- I need to get you ready. We’re leaving in a couple of weeks, so it’s best to start sooner than later.” Susanna turned on her heel and sauntered off, not even bothering to check if Gabriella was following her.   
  
Wait. _Two weeks?_ Gabriella gaped rather unprofessionally, then hurried after Susanna.   
  
“Wait, so everyone is going to be told just before --”   
  
“Yep. The important people have already been told and have been training, and this way no one can interfere with anything. It’s pretty foolproof, I have to admit.” Susanna paused when she reached the main hall, then glanced back at Gabriella once she saw ghouls and Siblings of Sin wandering about. “But we’re going to have to stop talking about this for a bit.”   
  
Oh. Yes. Confidentiality. Gabriella fell in line behind Susanna and followed in silence, only keeping mild tabs on where she was being led. It wasn’t likely that she would be allowed to come this way by herself, anyhow; it wasn’t important for her to remember the exact route.   
  
Eventually, Gabriella heard the click of a lock and the sound of a door opening. She rushed inside and finally looked up.   
  
The office itself was very small -- nothing grandiose or fancy. The desk was an old wooden one, stacked with papers upon papers. Books were strewn about the floor, some open, some not. The only lights were a small table lamp and a larger lamp in the corner of the room. Gabriella winced at the sight and was very much grateful that Susanna was too busy locking the door to notice.   
  
“Yeah, it’s a bit of a mess in here,” Susanna explained sheepishly. “Don’t tell Sister. She’d kill me if she saw the state of this place.”   
  
“I could help you clean up, if you want.” Gabriella wouldn’t admit that the offer was for her own well-being as much as it was for her new mentor’s. At least she would look good offering it, and it would keep her busy, and ...   
  
“Might steal you away one day for that. I keep meaning to start and then get work dumped on me.”   
  
Susanna walked past Gabriella and took a seat in her plush chair. She scattered a few papers about, searching for something in particular. Gabriella continued to stand there, arms behind her back, waiting patiently for commands.   
  
Susanna took notice of this after a few minutes. “You can just sit down, you know,” she said with a chuckle. “Don’t have to wait for me to tell you.”   
  
Gabriella flushed a bright pink and took a seat in front of the only other chair in the office.   
  
“All right, so, Sister told me to go over a few things with you.” Susanna fished out a pamphlet, waving it triumphantly. Apparently, it had been buried beneath a stack of books. “See this? This is the prototype of what we’ll be handing out at shows. Take a look.”   
  
Gabriella took the offered pamphlet and skimmed over the pages. It offered vague details on the ministry, the Sibling-sanctioned areas of the abbey, and their mission as a whole. The mission statement was the clearest thing about it, but even then ...   
  
“This omits a lot,” Gabriella said carefully.   
  
“That’s where we come in.” Susanna grinned. “People can take a pamphlet and go and nothing bad will happen. They can spread that around as much as they want. The clergy won’t care. _We_ , however, answer their questions. It’s supposed to be a bit vague. It engages them.”   
  
“That makes sense.”   
  
“See? You catch on quick.” Susanna took back the pamphlet and tucked it right back where it was. _‘Maybe there is a method to her mess,’_ Gabriella thought to herself with a cringe. “You know the place inside and out, Sister tells me. So this shouldn’t be a problem for you. Just do what you normally do.”   
  
Gabriella shook her head. She wouldn’t praise herself -- that was uncouth. She couldn’t, however, deny the fact that she had been at this for quite some time. There were many things she could answer without even having to think about it, of course. If she hadn’t been able to for the past few decades, she would have been fired.   
  
“One thing I wanna warn you about, though? C’mon, Gabriella. Listen up.” Gabriella tilted up her head and looked between Susanna’s eyes. “We have to be careful about who we talk to. We’re going to need to use our gut instincts to make sure we focus on the right people.”   
  
“The right people?”   
  
“Think about it. We want people who are _actually_ curious. People who actually want to learn. So if someone’s not really responding, or they’re being a snarky jackass, just let them go. It’s a waste of time.”   
  
“But if we just give up on them ...”   
  
“It’s not like we’ll be missing out on much if we do.” Susanna shrugged. “There’s a lot of people out there, Gabriella. For one person that walks away, three can walk up. Losing out on one or two isn’t the end of the world.”   
  
“But the numbers --”   
  
“Yeah, they’re important here, and I know Sister gets on your ass if they’re not good. But I’ve talked to her about this. There’s a huge difference between people who are _already_ here and people who have to be _convinced_ to come here.” Susanna rolled her eyes and rested her chin on her hand, tapping her cheek idly with her finger. “The fact that I had to remind her of that scares me.”   
  
Gabriella bit her tongue to not laugh. No one ever, _ever_ laughed about Sister. You weren’t sure who was listening in the abbey walls. The fact that Susanna risked it ... it made her feel on edge. So, she opted to say nothing.   
  
Nothing was safest.   
  
“So don’t worry. I’ve got your back. If Sister wants to give you shit, she’ll have to go through me. And something tells me that won’t even have to be something we worry about.” Susanna smiled, a soft and reassuring one. Gabriella couldn’t help but smile back. “She wanted me to take you under my wing, so that’s what I’m gonna do, even if she decides that she hates it.”   
  
Gabriella’s smile only grew wider. She nodded her head in silent thankfulness. It was going to be a lot less scary out there with Susanna by her side.   
  
“I think that’s everything I needed to mention. It wasn’t too much, but still.”   
  
“It was still valuable,” Gabriella said. “I appreciate it.”   
  
“Yeah, glad we could talk a bit. I mean, I did most of the talking, but still.” Susanna laughed brightly, boisterously and with good humor. “We’re really going to have to get you out of your shell. How much can you work on that in two weeks?”   
  
“... Two sermons?”   
  
“Fuck it, that’ll do.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriella is finally on the road; she has a lot to adjust to, a lot to learn, and plenty of people to talk to.

She hadn’t known what to expect upon leaving, but it certainly hadn’t been this.   
  
Gabriella knew nothing of the tour buses. Some much older Siblings had mentioned how comfortable they could be, how relaxing they were to be in, and how spacious they were. All of that had been a lie. Their bus was much smaller than the front two and much more cramped. There were just enough seats for everyone working on the set, Gabriella, and Susanna. Aside from one table off to the side, that was it.   
  
She could understand it, though. Most of the space had to go to lugging the equipment around; that was bearable, if not irritating.   
  
Some waxed poetic about the scenery -- and that was what caught Gabriella’s attention. They spoke of how beautiful the landscapes were, how wonderful it was to see nature outside of the abbey, the buildings, the animals ... that had been a lie too. All of the blinds had been shut a long time ago. There had been a glare with the sun, a few people said. Opening it now would be foolhardy; the sun was setting and it would get in their eyes.   
  
No one had disagreed with this rationale. In fact, everyone seemed to approve wholeheartedly. _This_ was incredibly annoying, but it wasn’t as if anyone would listen to her objections. So Gabriella sat in her seat, hands in her lap, simply staring at the floor. She had been doing that for approximately five hours, simply listening to the conversations around her.   
  
There were many, many people in this bus. Well, many people for a closed space. If she counted, Gabriella would probably count around fifteen people total. Some were light techs, some worked with sound, and some ... Lucifer below, she didn’t know. This wasn’t her department. She shouldn’t care.   
  
But she had no idea how to talk to any of them, either. Susanna had been interacting with ease, but Gabriella hadn’t said a word since she had said goodbye to her mother. No one had really tried to talk to her, either. It was as if she was just a fly on the wall.   
  
“... Germany! I thought they’d get their first show in Italy, you know? I haven’t been to Germany in years --”   
  
“I know, right? It’s crazy awesome! I’ve never been.”   
  
“Gabriella hasn’t been, either.”   
  
Gabriella bristled when Susanna spoke. She glanced over, looking like a deer in headlights.   
  
“Oh -- no -- no, I have not, I --”   
  
“Damn, I think that’s the first time I’ve heard her voice this whole trip!” someone joked. The voice was a familiar one; Gabriella looked at the man who had spoken. He -- no, Matthew, his name was Matthew -- had been one of her recruits. He had been involved for quite a few years now and integrated seamlessly with everyone. One of her proudest moments. “You doing okay, Gabriella?”   
  
“Yes, I am all right. I am just ... nervous.”   
  
She regretted saying that immediately. Matthew promptly rose from his seat and took one closer to Gabriella, a grin on his face all the while.   
  
He had changed quite a bit since he showed up. His dark brown hair had gotten so long that he had to tie it in a ponytail, and his stubble had grown into a full beard. His skin was a tawny brown. He wore all black, as was expected for tech people, she assumed; quite a change from the colorful clothing he came into the chapel with at first.   
  
“Well, let’s make you less nervous. Hell, it’d finally let me pay you back for how comfortable you made me when I showed up. So, what’s got you worried?”   
  
Susanna smirked in approval, then turned back to continue her prior conversation. Gabriella, realizing that she was trapped in the conversation, simply smiled politely. On the outside, she looked perfectly poised. On the inside, her heart had flip-flopped into her stomach and she was nearly trembling with worry.   
  
“I have never been outside of the abbey.” Gabriella promptly turned her gaze towards the seat in front of her, blushing brightly in embarrassment. She twiddled her thumbs. “I do not know what to expect.”   
  
“Shit, none of us do either. Only one of us has ever been to Germany and it’s been a few years. You’re not alone there.”   
  
The words should have been reassuring. Gabriella knew this. But at least Matthew knew what the outside was like -- he had that advantage. She didn’t. Nevertheless, she widened her smile before looking back down to the ground. He was doing his best; it would be impolite to not show appreciation for his efforts.   
  
“You’re doing recruitment, right?”   
  
“Yes.”   
  
“Just act as you normally do and you’ll be fine, I guarantee it.” Matthew raised a hand, hesitated, then patted Gabriella gently on the shoulder. She tensed, but did not move away. “We’re gonna have a shitload of new people by the end of this gig,I promise.”   
  
“May or may not,” Susanna chimed in. “Remember, the clergy only released the album last week. This is a huge risk.”   
  
“I’d say I can’t believe we got a gig already, but Sister probably has connections. So ... yeah.” The feminine voice sounded close, but Gabriella didn’t bother to look up to check. “They did do this before.”   
  
“Something tells me Sister is looking for new blood rather than just recruiting a lot of nostalgic fans.” Susanna chuckled. “Though that would be pretty funny. _‘Hey, Sister, we got a shitload of Nihil’s old groupies. Where do you want them?’_ She’d shit herself.”   
  
Laughter rang through the bus, and Gabriella was shocked to find herself joining in. The fear of someone overhearing them seemed like a distant memory now, rather than an ever-present threat. The ghouls were in another bus. It was just humans here. It was fine to laugh, right?   
  
“Didn’t they break up because of a groupie?” Gabriella recognized the voice as Jenny, a newer Sister of Sin. Not one of hers, but someone who had required a decent amount of help from Gabriella to find her way around the abbey. “Sister and Nihil, I mean. I heard rumors.”   
  
“They did?”   
  
“No way!”   
  
“Yeah, that’s exactly why she’d shit herself. You all haven’t seen how pissed she gets when she talks about it,” Susanna replied with a snicker. “I’d almost pay to see her reaction to me bringing in a lot of old groupies. Either she’d chase them out or she’d kill the lot of them. Wouldn’t be surprised about either of those.”   
  
“Ritual sacrifices~!” Matthew sing-songed with hysterical laughter. “She would, too!”   
  
Gabriella gripped the hem of her shirt tightly. The sacrifices were hardly something to joke about; they only happened when necessary or if someone had gravely wronged the church. No one would be that callous. Would they?   
  
“She’d probably head it herself,” Susanna added. “She doesn’t fuck around.”   
  
Ah.   
  
Gabriella squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the conversation as best as she could. Hopefully they’d get to the hotel soon, or they’d veer off of this train of conversation. The group kept laughing and joking, seemingly oblivious to Gabriella’s discomfort. Even when the conversation shifted after what felt like an eternity, she had no interest in rejoining it. Susanna and Matthew shared a concerned look, but said nothing to her.   
  
Thank goodness for that.   
  
Gabriella opened the blinds on her row and zoned out staring at the wonderful landscapes. She had never seen trees like this before -- ones full of leaves, some falling to the ground, the bright oranges and vivid reds ... it provided a perfect distraction for her. No one tried to tell her to close it, either.   
  
Seemed like the Siblings hadn’t been lying about how beautiful the outside world was, after all. 

* * *

It had been night for a long, long time by the time they arrived at the hotel.   
  
Gabriella’s legs felt like jelly. The only stops they had made were for the restroom. Food had been handled in the bus itself. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been able to stretch out. So, when she took a couple of wobbly steps out of the tour bus, she clung onto the stair railings for dear life. She wasn’t the only one -- and at least she didn’t have to worry about more than just her suitcase.   
  
Gabriella took the time to actually look at the hotel. She hadn’t dared to ask what one was like -- far too embarrassing -- but it looked relatively safe. It was a huge building; counting the floors seemed like an impossible task. Shrubs and decorative trees lined the side of the hotel, up until the lobby entrance. It had a strange transparent door, seemingly on hinges. Quite different from what she was used to.   
  
She tried to take a calming breath. Even tired, this still felt so overwhelming. How would she not stick out in a bad way? How would she blend in? Gabriella walked towards the back side of the bus, taking the precious moments to actually stretch her legs out properly. Bliss.   
  
A part of her wondered if this was supposed to be a bigger deal. These were her first steps in the outside world, on concrete instead of old stone. It was the first night she stayed in a building that wasn’t the abbey. Wasn’t this monumental? Perhaps, but Gabriella was too tired to care. Maybe she’d care more tomorrow.   
  
“Come on, Matthew, can you really not reach back there?”   
  
“Shut up, Greg --” Matthew strained; his arm was outstretched towards the packed suitcases. Was he reaching back for something? “Fuck, I’m too bulky for this shit. Can’t believe my fuckin’ plush fell out --”   
  
“I can get it,” Gabriella offered as she walked up. “Where is it?”   
  
“It’s stuck in the back by some of the suitcases. Should be, uh ... a small unicorn.”   
  
“Yeah, I won it for h--”   
  
“Shut _up,_ man!”   
  
Gabriella giggled and then bent over to peer into the side storage area of the tour bus. Plenty of suitcases still remained, and true to Matthew’s word, she could see the foot of a unicorn plush near the back. She was small enough to be able to crawl inside, but the suitcases were too close for her together to reach between them.   
  
Reach through with human glamour, at least.   
  
Gabriella shut her eyes, exhaled slowly, and let herself drop the glamour on her left arm. She strained to move forward, gritting her teeth at how the suitcases scraped against the human bits of her arm. Wisps of void danced around the edges of the obstacles, making it just a bit harder to see the plush. It had to be right there, she was so close to the back --   
  
_There._ _  
_   
She was sure to re-glamour her arm before crawling back outside. The scrapes, along with the wisps of void, were completely hidden. Gabriella handed the plush to Matthew with a smile on her face.   
  
“Thanks!” He promptly snatched up the plush unicorn and held it in his free hand. “All right, let’s get inside.”   
  
“Where is Susanna?”   
  
“Oh, she’s helping us check in. She’s probably getting all the keys put together.”   
  
Gabriella nodded in understanding. She pulled out her own duffel bag -- she didn’t have much to bring, save some clothes -- and slung it around her shoulder. “I will go on inside, then. I hope you all have a good night.”   
  
“Night, Gabriella!”   
  
“Night, Gabby!” Matthew said. “Let’s try and talk more tomorrow, okay? Like, _actual_ talking!”   
  
She gave a friendly wave, then hurried away from the crowd of humans. She had all she could handle for chatter tonight. So much had happened today, even just on a tour bus. All she wanted to do was get her room key and sleep.   
  
Gabriella was ashamed to admit that she jumped when the odd transparent door moved on its own. It slid open seamlessly with a quiet hum, and she quickly rushed inside before it could close on her.   
  
The lobby was ... impressive? Soulless? She had no idea how to describe it. It certainly looked fancy enough -- there were plenty of places to sit, some lovely artwork on the walls, and the floor was made of shining, beautiful marble. Yet, despite the extravagant exterior, it seemed oddly hollow. The air smelled sterile, as well.   
  
There was a room off to the side with plenty of chairs and tables. The other side was the check-in desk. At least, that was what Gabriella assumed. It was an easy assumption to make, really, since everyone was gathered there.   
  
Gabriella froze once she saw Papa at the desk. He looked so different without the face paint. She had never seen him out of the vestments, either. He almost looked ... casual, somehow. He was dressed well for the autumn weather, with his charming scarf and black outfit. Thankfully, he was too busy speaking to Susanna to notice her staring. Maybe if she sidestepped really fast, he would continue _not_ seeing her --   
  
He glanced up when the door closed and saw her. Curse it all.   
  
“Ah. Gabriella. I am glad to see that Sister took my suggestion seriously.”   
  
All of the band ghouls swiveled to stare at her, as did Susanna. The hotel desk clerk even peered over out of curiosity. Gabriella just wished that the ever-familiar void would swallow her whole.   
  
“I ... uh ... I am ...”   
  
“Worry not. I know you will do a great job.”   
  
Was that meant to be helpful? It was, but feeling relief and sheer terror at the same time was a very odd combination. Gabriella stood there, stunned, struggling to form even the simplest of words.   
  
Susanna metaphorically swooped in and saved her. “Yeah, isn’t she great? I get to be her mentor, too. You all better be nice to her.” She nudged Omega and shot him a cheeky wink. “Otherwise you’ll have to deal with me.”   
  
Alpha simply shook his head, then gathered some of Papa’s suitcases. “Lucifer forbid,” he intoned blankly.   
  
“Oh, quiet, Alpha, you know you love me.”   
  
“Clearly.”   
  
“Let me get Gabriella upstairs,” Susanna said quickly. “Poor woman’s never been outside of the abbey before, I should get her acquainted with things.”   
  
In a flash, Susanna had an arm around Gabriella’s shoulder, and she was escorted down the far-too-long hallway.   
  
“Our room’s on the first floor. I already have my luggage up there -- it was brought up by a ghoul. So I know right where it is.”   
  
“We have our own room?”   
  
“Oh, yeah. Much easier to keep an eye on you that way. Besides, that way you won’t get stressed out being around a lot of people.” Susanna patted Gabriella’s shoulder and then steered her towards some metallic doors.   
  
Susanna must have seen the utterly confused look on Gabriella’s face. She bit back a laugh, then started to explain. “Elevator. It’s going to slide open on its own, just as a heads-up. But it’s perfectly safe. Promise.”   
  
“If you say so.”   
  
Susanna pushed a button and the two waited patiently. Gabriella jumped at a pleasant chime, then watched in awe as the doors, once again, opened by themselves. It looked cramped in there, but it was able to fit Susanna, Gabriella, and their luggage. She tensed as the door closed, and yelped when the elevator began to move.   
  
“That’s normal! It’s okay, you can relax.”   
  
Gabriella couldn’t quite relax, even when told. She let out a sigh of relief when the elevator stopped and the doors slid open again. “I ... do not like these. I would much rather use the stairs.”   
  
“We can do that tomorrow, no problem.” Susanna exited the elevator and Gabriella trailed behind her.   
  
The hallway was long -- far too long for Gabriella’s liking. The carpet had such a strange zigzag pattern, and the walls were a plain beige color. How could such a fancy place look so soulless? Why did it have such a strange atmosphere?   
  
“Room 126 ... all right, here we are.” Susanna stopped in front of a door -- it looked just like every other door -- and tapped the key on it. It clicked, then Susanna was able to open it. Gabriella glanced behind her nervously, worried that anyone could see where they were staying. Upon the sight of an empty hallway, she followed, relieved.   
  
“Here’s our room!” Susanna flicked on the light.   
  
“It is ... bigger than I thought it would be.”   
  
The room was definitely spacious. It had enough space for two beds, a desk, a ... television? Was that a television? She had never seen one before. There was even an attached bathroom off to the side and a closet. Gabriella gaped, turning her head side to side as she took in the sight. There was even a nice chair in the corner and a small table!   
  
“Well, enjoy it while you have it,” Susanna said. “Hotel beds are pretty comfortable. I’ll take the one closer to the alarm.”   
  
“... I get one of my own?”   
  
Now it was Susanna’s turn to gape. She stared at Gabriella like a fish out of water. “Uh, yeah? Lucifer below, Gabriella, you can _have your own bed._ I’m not going to make you sleep on the chair! Why are you so shocked? You have a bed at the abbey.”   
  
“Yes, but, it is not the most comfortable. This one looks ...”   
  
“Holy shit.” Susanna pinched the bridge of her nose. “Look, you can sleep on a comfortable bed. It’s okay. No one’s going to bite you for it.”   
  
Gabriella shrunk back, then silently made her way to her own bed. She hadn’t been sure what to expect, but it definitely wasn’t this. Her own bed? Her own room, with her mentor? She might be able to get some sleep tonight. It was just the most she had ever had. She set her duffel bag to the side of the bed, then carefully climbed on top.   
  
It felt like the most infernal bliss. Gabriella sighed and sank onto the mattress, clutching the thick quilt with her hands.   
  
“This feels amazing.”   
  
“Told you!” Susanna flopped on her bed, spreading out like a starfish. “Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted after being on a damn tour bus all day. I’m going to get ready for bed.”   
  
“I will do that after you do.” Gabriella paused, then turned her head to look at Susanna. “Do you think things will go all right tomorrow?”   
  
“Yep. All we can do is our best, so let’s just give it all we’ve got!”   
  
Gabriella could only hope that Susanna’s optimism would carry her through the day of the festival. Fear and exhaustion gnawed away at her; it took everything she had to not fall asleep immediately.   
  
Hopefully, things would be fine tomorrow.   
  
It was all she could pray for.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Gabriella's first day on the new job -- and her first concert, as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I did much research for their first actual gig I will not be doing that all the time iudhfsdiuhf
> 
> Enjoy!

This had been a very hectic morning.   
  
Gabriella had never heard the sound of an alarm clock before. The incessant beeping had nearly made her fall out of the bed, and that had made it so the bright morning sun was filtering right into her eyes. The flimsy curtain didn’t help with that, either. So she stumbled around, focusing extremely hard on maintaining her glamour when tired and getting ready for the day.   
  
She was managing just fine for a while. She even managed to make the grucifix on her vest look perfect first try. Gabriella stared at herself in the mirror, proud of how utterly immaculate she looked.   
  
Her hopes were promptly dashed by one simple sentence.   
  
“No, that won’t work.”   
  
Gabriella paused, stricken. She wilted. Why would her usual outfit not work? Didn’t she want to put her best foot forward? She looked at Susanna, perplexed, then frowned. Asmodeus help her, this was all too much. Now she couldn’t even stick with something familiar that she _did_ know. This outfit had _always_ worked. Always!   
  
“But ...”   
  
“Listen, Gabriella. This is a music festival, not a sermon. Look at what I’m wearing.”   
  
Gabriella did. It was so oddly casual. Her outfit was just one of the new Ghost t-shirts, matching jeans, and some hair accessories. How would that be suitable for recruitment?   
  
“I do not understand.”   
  
“Think about it this way. You want to blend in with the crowd, right? If you look like them, they’ll feel more comfortable around you.”   
  
Gabriella’s shoulders sagged as she trudged back to her open duffel bag. Some of her clothes were scattered on the bed haphazardly; putting her main outfit on the bottom was probably not the smartest idea.   
  
The first thing she grabbed was her black turtleneck shirt.   
  
“Nope,” Susanna said immediately.   
  
“But it is autumn, yes?”   
  
“I mean, yeah, but you’re going to be pretty close to people. It’s better to not wear long-sleeved shirts. Pick something else.”   
  
Gabriella looked sadly at the turtleneck, then reluctantly tossed it onto the bed. Everything else had been packed just in case -- she hadn’t considered the possibility that she might actually use one of them. She stared at the pile of clothes, utterly defeated.   
  
What should she even do?   
  
“Lucifer, this hurts to watch. Let me look at your clothes, Gabriella. I’ll pick out an outfit for you. If we keep trying out stuff, we’ll be late and Papa will have our heads.”   
  
Gabriella paled at the mere idea of Papa being angry at her. She stepped to the side and let Susanna pick through her clothes. Just a few seconds later, a plain black t-shirt and black pants were tossed at her.   
  
“Sort of plain, but it’ll work and you won’t burn alive. Go put those on.”   
  
“Yes, Susanna.”   
  
Gabriella clutched at the chosen outfit and hurried to the restroom, changing as quickly as she could manage. She’d have to repack her things, make her bed, make sure the room was clean before they left ... there was so much to do before getting to the venue.   
  
She hated how she looked now -- it was so plain. But Susanna had said it was a good idea, so maybe it was for the best. Either way, she felt downright unnatural stepping out in just pants and a t-shirt. She had never been so underdressed in front of anyone before. Ever.   
  
Much to her shock, Susanna had already grabbed one of the bags. She looked completely nonplussed about it, too. She was ready to get out of here and made no secret of it.   
  
Gabriella felt the need to protest. “But, wait, do we not need to clean --”   
  
“Hell no, woman! There’s people here who make a living doing that for us. We barely left a dent in it.”   
  
“But our luggage --”   
  
“We’re staying here another night, Gabriella, calm down. I’ve got it covered. I’ve got the keys, too, so there’s no need to worry.”   
  
“All right. Thank you.”   
  
While Gabriella couldn’t disagree with Susanna’s logic, it still felt awful to not at least clean up her own space. Were people really _paid_ to clean? She couldn’t even fathom the idea. Regardless, she followed Susanna out of the room. She didn’t even bother looking back even after the door had shut behind her.   
  
There were too many things to look forward to.   
  
“We’ll go over our game plan once we get to Posthalle and get our little stall set up. Going to be a decent crowd there, but nothing we can’t handle.”   
  
“R-Right.”   
  
Susanna walked past the elevators, instead opting for the door that led to the staircase. Gabriella’s shoulders sagged in relief as she descended the staircase. At the halfway point, she paused and stared up at Susanna, who was moving much slower with the bag.   
  
“Do you want me to take that?”   
  
“Nah, I got it. Keep going, they need to know we’re on the way.”   
  
She wasn’t wrong. Gabriella nodded and hurried down the last set of stairs, rushing ahead and flinging open the door. She hesitated when the hallway looked just the same as the last one, but the signs enabled her to reach the lobby.   
  
It was much more crowded than last night. Everyone was already awake and bustling about, talking with one another, laughing. Some were in the room off to the side, eating breakfast, and others were on the couch. The receptionist looked annoyed, but kept himself busy.   
  
Gabriella had no idea where to start. She was lucky enough, however, that Papa didn’t appear to be there. Maybe he was already on his bus? Either way, it meant less pressure to act her best. For now, at least.   
  
She took a few tentative steps forward, glancing nervously over towards the breakfast area. There were so many options, it smelled so good, and ... and ...   
  
“Hey, Gabby!” Matthew called. Gabriella turned towards the sound of his voice, only to see him sitting at one of the many, many tables in the side room. He had a massive plate of food in front of him, and he was surrounded by a few of the people from yesterday. “Pull up a chair! Get some food! We’re gonna be headed out soon!”   
  
She eyed all of the food laid out before her, utterly stunned. _‘I can have any of it?’_ she thought to herself, awed as she watched Siblings of Sin grab enough to fill their plates. _‘Any of it I want?’_   
  
“Stop gawking, Gabby! Go get some!”   
  
So she did.   
  
It took a moment to realize what, exactly, she was supposed to do. But eventually she grabbed some bread rolls, ham, and salami. Those seemed like safe choices -- everyone had some on their plate.   
  
“So, excited?” Matthew asked as Gabriella sat down.   
  
“I suppose ...”   
  
“You _suppose_!?”   
  
“Hey, she’s probably got some first-time jitters. Give the poor girl a break.”   
  
“Fuck off, Greg. I’ve got this, don’t need to gang up on me!” Greg burst out laughing, then went back to his food. Matthew turned back to Gabriella. “No, but seriously, it’s gonna be fine. It’s always scary when you start, but after that first person --”   
  
“Assuming we have any people. Susanna mentioned that we might not have any come by at all.”   
  
“Ah, fuck that! Gotta be optimistic with this shit! Susanna’s smart and shit, but she’s underestimating how many people are going to be there! _Someone’s_ bound to show up. I’ll be sure to send them your way while we’re packing and setting up and shit. Sound good?”   
  
“The gesture is appreciated.”   
  
“We got this shit. Sure, I’m nervous as fuck that I’ll drop something, but I can’t dwell on it. Then again, knowing Greg --”   
  
“I didn’t even drop the amp, and I only tripped one time! Those things are hard to get into a bus!”   
  
“You’re just embarrassed that I saw it happen.”   
  
“As if, Mr. I-Dropped-A-Mic-Stand-On-My-Toe!”   
  
Gabriella smiled shyly and picked at her food. While Matthew’s enthusiasm was certainly welcome, she couldn’t help but worry. Sure, there had been a lot of siblings at the church, but that was working with interest already cultivated. She’d be starting from nothing out here. Would she really ...   
  
“Ten minutes until you have to be on the buses! Finish your food and get moving!”   
  
Earth’s voice was unmistakable. Gabriella stopped picking at her food and promptly began properly eating. The humans around her continued to chat and laugh, but she could only eat in silence. She tried to ignore the worried glances directed towards her, but they only made her feel worse.   
  
She couldn’t even reassure them that she was all right.   
  
Was it because of the oath ghouls were forced to adhere to? Was it nerves? Gabriella didn’t know. She just hoped that today would go as well as Matthew said it would. He seemed to be the only confident one here. Maybe it would rub off on her.   
  
Gabriella stood and brought her empty plate to the pile, then dashed out of the room, towards the buses.   
  
She’d have plenty of time to muse on the way over to the venue. Best not panic now. 

* * *

Gabriella had absolutely started to panic, but she managed to keep it completely to herself.   
  
No one really questioned her silence on the ride over; they just knew her as quiet by now. Susanna tried to get her to join a conversation or two, but Gabriella just shook her head. Speaking was impossible; every word died on her lips before she could even fathom speaking them. Her hands were cold and clammy, and it took effort to not visibly tremble.   
  
The moment they arrived at the venue, her internal panic intensified. Gabriella hid it under a soft smile and clenched hands. Distraction. She needed a distraction, she needed to busy herself --   
  
“Matthew! Do you need help unpacking things?”   
  
“No! No no. Come on, Gabriella, we have to get our shit ready to go.” Susanna had a vice grip on Gabriella’s shoulder as she dragged her away. Gabriella could only look on helplessly at a very bewildered Matthew.   
  
“But -- S-Susanna --”   
  
“No buts! The sooner we get set up, the sooner we can go through everything from the top. That’ll help you calm down.”   
  
Oh. So she had noticed. Gabriella deflated and let herself be led towards a dim corner of the venue. There were so many people rushing around, all of them trying to get things set up, testing sound, talking amongst themselves ... it almost sounded like home. Almost.   
  
“All right, so Omega said he’d bring in the stand for us, since I needed to get you in here --”   
  
Susanna and Gabriella blinked, and suddenly a small black stand was there. It had already been primed and set up for holding pamphlets, and a small bag was nearby, resting on the ground.   
  
“... That sneaky fucker.”   
  
Gabriella laughed for the first time that day.   
  
“All right. Go over the basics with me!”   
  
Gabriella froze. A pop quiz? Now, of all times? No, she would not be caught off guard by this. She’d answer just fine.   
  
“Uh ... let them approach us first. The pamphlet is vague, so be ready to answer questions when they are asked. Be engaging, but not overbearing. Do not be ... do not ...” Gabriella’s mouth clamped shut.   
  
The notion of being dishonest on any level horrified her.   
  
“Don’t tell them everything, even if they ask,” Susanna finished for her. “There has to be an air of mystery, and some things are confidential to Siblings only. Remember?”   
  
“Yes, Susanna.”   
  
“Now, what else? What else did I tell you?”   
  
Gabriella inhaled deeply and slowly let the breath out. No, she had to stay calm. She did this all the time. This was something she could do. She just had to talk, be herself, and let people just roll in. Easy. This was going to be easy as soon as she got into it, like Matthew said.   
  
“It is all right if I do not get as many people as I would like,” she eventually said. “This is a different atmosphere.”   
  
“Couldn’t have said it better myself!” Susanna ruffled Gabriella’s hair. She had a massive grin on her face. “You’re gonna do just fine.”   
  
Susanna crouched down to open the bag, grabbing a handful of pamphlets. She began to fill up the little stand with the flyers, humming a merry tune to herself. Gabriella stepped forward to help and was shocked when the bag was just shoved into her arms.   
  
“Just hand ‘em over as I need them, all right?”   
  
“Of course.”   
  
There were an awkward few minutes of silence. Susanna stocked the shelf, still humming that merry tune, and Gabriella simply stood there as a glorified pack mule. It was better than doing nothing, at least. It gave her some time to think and psych herself up.   
  
Eventually, though, one very important question came to mind.   
  
“... Susanna? May I ask you something?”   
  
“Ask away. What’s on your mind?”   
  
“What is a concert like, exactly? No one has ever told me.”   
  
Susanna paused, still holding a pamphlet. She seemed to have frozen mid-placement. Her eyes were wide, and if anything, she looked like she was exasperated and shocked all at once.   
  
“You’ve never been to a concert?”   
  
“No ...”   
  
“Holy shit, Gabriella. How are you supposed to ...” Susanna sighed, then finished placing the pamphlet on the shelf. “All right. Want me to make you a deal?”   
  
“Um ...”   
  
“How about this. You go watch the concert. Let loose and have some fun. You’re killing me over here. Then, after the show, come back and we can work. Okay?”   
  
Gabriella’s cheeks burned a bright pink. A part of her wanted to apologize, but what else was she supposed to do? Just lie and say that she’d been to one before? No, that would be even worse and it would be obvious that it was a lie in the first place.   
  
“Come on. Go ahead and wait near the front. You have to have the full experience. If anyone gives you shit for it, tell them to talk to me.”

Saying no would be impossible. Gabriella simply nodded meekly, already resigned to the fact that she’d be at a concert whether she wanted to be or not. She took some earplugs from Susanna, then made her way towards the small stage.   
  
If nothing else, this would be interesting. 

* * *

A lot of the music hadn’t been especially pleasant. Multiple bands went on and off the stage, and each time, Gabriella had withdrawn further and further into herself. She couldn’t connect to any of the music -- she didn’t even understand most of it. How was this considered fun?   
  
All of her wanted to run back to Susanna. But she had been trapped in the front left corner hours ago. A massive crowd of people whooped, hollered, and cheered for each set. Some did so right near her ear, and she was grateful for the earplugs even more.   
  
Gabriella clung to herself, shrinking as much as possible. She wanted this to be done. She wanted to go back to work. Every passing second felt like hours, and every loud song sounded like nails on a chalkboard.   
  
When the last band got offstage, she let out a sigh of relief. Ghost would be on next. As soon as it was done, she could go back. If this was the kind of music they did, she most likely wouldn’t enjoy it.   
  
Some awkward seconds passed. Then, some awkward minutes. The stage sat empty for too long. Technicians she didn’t recognize had set up the stage what felt like eons ago. Had something happened? Did something go wrong?   
  
“Any idea when they’re gonna be up?” someone next to her asked.   
  
“None. This is weird, man.”   
  
Gabriella made the decision to bolt back to Susanna. This was taking far too long, and she needed time to decompress. This hadn’t been fun, but at least she understood the demographic now. They cheered, they whooped, they clapped, headbanged with the music, made odd hand gestures ... quite the rowdy bunch. It wasn’t her scene.   
  
Just as she took a half-step back, though, the lights dimmed. The crowd began to cheer wildly just as a cloud of false fog seeped from the edges of the stage. Gabriella jumped away from it, and watched in awe as it spilled onto the floor and faded out after the first couple of rows of people.   
  
An unfamiliar chant began to play over the speakers.   
  
Well, no. The more Gabriella listened, the more familiar it sounded. The voices of higher-ranking ghouls filled her ears, in accompaniment with stringed instruments. She listened in awe, rapt in attention as the band ghouls began to file onto the stage. What were they doing with their instruments? Playing them? No, no sound was coming from them ... not that she could hear.   
  
But the chanting, the strings, the ominous tone -- it made her eyes light up. She couldn’t take her eyes off of the ghouls as they looked at each other, nodded, fiddled with their instruments ...   
  
Then, Papa Emeritus the First took the stage.   
  
He strode off from the side. At first, he was hard to see in the darkness. But the red lights started to shine onto his vestments and on his mitre, making him glow. The face paint made him look almost frightening under the sinister lighting. Gabriella had never seen him look so serious before -- and she hadn’t seen him swing that censer in a decade. But here he was now, walking to the mic stand at a slow, steady pace, swinging it carefully. Smoke poured from it; Gabriella could catch just a hint of sandalwood, being as close to the stage as she was.   
  
He looked _incredible._ _  
_   
Her eyes had been flickering between ghouls, but now she couldn’t stop staring at Papa I. He utterly commanded the crowd, even in settings like this. Even the music took a back seat compared to him. Nothing else mattered.   
  
Gabriella clasped her hands to her chest, like she did in prayer. She didn’t dare close her eyes, though. Not this time. Missing just a second of him was inexcusable.   
  
The strings and chanting slowly faded into nothingness. A tap echoed through the room. Then guitar -- bass? Was that bass? She had no idea. It had started to play either way.   
  
She did know one thing, though; the music had an ominous ring to it and it didn’t fit Papa’s sermons at all. He was warm and gentle -- welcoming. This was completely different. Was that intentional?   
  
“ _Lucifer! We are here ..._ ”   
  
_‘His voice ...’_ Gabriella knew her mouth was hanging open and how unprofessional it had to have looked. But she couldn’t help it. Papa’s presence was overpowering -- overwhelming. He looked absolutely stunning, and his voice! She hadn’t heard anything as infernally beautiful as that.   
  
He scanned the crowd as he sang, arms outstretched and eyes wide. Gabriella watched as he scanned from right to left. Then, he looked right at her.   
  
She was sure it was a trick of the light. It had to be. Papa wouldn’t look at her, not when he had a sea of humans paying attention to him. He wouldn’t. Shouldn’t. Yet, there he was, staring at her. His bright white eye pierced right through her, staring into her very core.   
  
Once he looked away, the world felt empty.   
  
The songs themselves were masterpieces. Gabriella tried to focus on the lyrics, the meaning, the sheer power of the music -- but it all paled in comparison to his divine voice. The instruments sounded a bit off now and again, but who cared? It was still a wonderful performance.   
  
The ending notes of Prime Mover graced the ears of the audience, and then the players were silent. Papa looked at the audience, then leaned into the mic. Gabriella couldn’t understand a single word he said, but it was surely important. Maybe it was something about the show ending?   
  
He tugged on the collar of his vestments, then took a couple of steps back from the microphone. Gabriella covered her hand with her mouth to hide a girlish giggle.   
  
The music started up again. Gabriella found herself actually tapping her foot along to the beat, nodding her head along with some other people in the crowd. It wasn’t nearly as heavy as some of the other bands’ music, sure, but ... that made it much more bearable for her.   
  
It hurt when he stopped singing; Gabriella knew that he wouldn’t start again, since this was most likely the last song. He had his arms outstretched, gesturing towards the ghouls. The fog began to overtake him, hiding his visage from the sea of people --   
  
And then, he was gone, leaving only the ghouls onstage to play the last notes. The lights suddenly cut to black. When the lights of the venue returned, the ghouls had vanished as well.   
  
The cheering nearly hurt Gabriella’s ears, even with the earplugs. But it was a good sign. She grinned ear to ear, staring dopily at the now-empty stage.   
  
Now she understood why people loved concerts. It was a magical experience like none other if you connected with the music -- with the singer. Hearing them perform live, as opposed to listening to the same things over and over ... it was so different! The crowd was so lively! And they had supported their message, even indirectly!   
  
Gabriella navigated through the crowd. She had to get back to Susanna.   
  
There would be many new Siblings tonight if she played her cards right. Keeping Papa’s voice and face in her mind as she worked would make it easier to remember what was at stake.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papa takes Gabriella back to his room for a special evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up, this chapter is pretty spicy! Finally, the fic's E rating is justified sudhfdisuhf
> 
> Enjoy!

“... and if you wish, we can offer you a pamphlet --”    
  
“Nah, was just curious. Thanks, though.” The tenth person that came up to the stall walked away empty-handed and uninterested in the word of Lucifer. Another failure.    
  
Gabriella stared after them, holding a pamphlet in her hand, tears welling up in her eyes. She was so grateful for the dim lights; no one would see it. Especially not Susanna, who was working even harder than she was and not having luck.    
  
“Of course,” she said softly to the failed recruit. No one heard her.    
  
“Gabriella. Hey.” Susanna lightly swatted Gabriella on the shoulder, making her jump. “It’s all right. Remember what I told you? Say it back to me.”    
  
“I ... yes, I know that recruitment is going to be more difficult. I know that finding anyone was unlikely, it is just ... frustrating,” Gabriella said. She clenched the pamphlet tightly, not caring how the paper creased in her grip. “I know I am not bad at this. Why do they not listen to us?”   
  
“Because they came for music and not to be converted,” Susanna replied with a sigh. “Something Sister didn’t exactly realize, I think. We don’t have enough of a pull for this yet.”   
  
“But if we do not bring back at least one person, Sister --”   
  
“Can deal with it.” Susanna gently squeezed Gabriella’s shoulder and gave her a warm smile. “Not like this is the only show we have, right? Besides, I plan on giving her some what-for for throwing you into this situation.”    
  
The conversation ended there. A few people had come by, and the duo put their all into recruitment. A few kind words, some flattery, ‘accidentally’ dropping a pamphlet ... Gabriella didn’t understand why Susanna though that would work, really. But it didn’t. None of it did.    
  
As the last few people filed out, Gabriella fought back more tears. She couldn’t hide her sniffling this time -- the area was empty, save for some workers.   
  
“I cannot believe this.”    
  
“I can,” Susanna grumbled. Even she sounded a bit dejected at this point. “But not much we can do about it. Let’s pack up and get back to the buses, all right? They’ll probably be leaving soon.”   
  
“Yes, Susanna.”    
  
The two began to pack in silence. There wasn’t much to pack, but each pamphlet going into the bag felt like a ton. Both of them worked to dismantle the shelf, struggling with some of the finer parts of it.    
  
Both of them were so absorbed in their tasks that they didn’t notice that someone had been waiting nearby.    
  
“Excuse me.”    
  
Susanna and Gabriella nearly jumped out of their skins when they realized that it was Papa. Both of them scrambled and stood at attention. Gabriella’s throat went dry upon seeing him. He was standing so close; she could see some of the makeup smeared off, the cracks in the application, how some of it faded throughout the night ... she could almost see his real face.   
  
He had already changed out of his vestments, as well. He wore an outfit almost identical to the one she’d seen last night -- he had his scarf on, a black shirt, black slacks, a leather jacket ...    
  
_ ‘Stop staring at him!’  _ she told herself. Gabriella bowed her head in a show of respect, clasping her hands in front of her and squeezing them together tightly. She prayed that he didn’t see her shaking.    
  
“Yes, Papa? How can we help?”   
  
Papa’s gaze flickered between the two, but settled on Gabriella. Her body went rigid. Had he been watching them? Was he about to reprimand her? Was this going to be the night she was -- was --    
  
“Gabriella is to ride with me in my bus tonight.”    
  
_ ‘What?’ _   
  
“Huh?” Susanna actually vocalized her shock; all Gabriella could do was just stand there, stunned. Why would he want such a thing? “I mean, of course, but --”    
  
Papa extended his hand towards Gabriella. His eyes never left her. “Come with me.”    
  
She hesitated, but only for a moment. The vice grip of the ghoulish oath made it impossible to say no; she took his gloved hand, relishing in how the leather felt against her skin. He held her hand tightly and led her away, leaving behind a very confused Susanna.    
  
Gabriella couldn’t focus on anything but the way Papa held her hand -- he was  _ holding her hand! _ \-- and the building anticipation for what was to come. Would it be a recommendation? Would it be praise for her hard work? Some kind words?    
  
More? It would be quite the honor to ...    
  
Lilith, no, she couldn’t even dare to dream of such a thing. It would be a simple nightcap -- a discussion of what could be done better, recruitment tips, and perhaps some chatter about the show itself. It would be a lovely evening, but that was all it would be.    


* * *

The ride over had been a silent one. Papa was surely tired after his show -- maybe that’s why he didn’t say anything. Gabriella, on the other hand, was simply too amazed by the spacious bus to really say anything. Yes, that was it. Wasn’t nervousness at all.    
  
When they arrived at the hotel, Papa ushered them both in quickly without saying a word. He wrapped an arm around her, nearly covering her entirely, and rushed past the desk without saying anything.    
  
Gabriella wanted to say hello to Matthew and Susanna, but the other buses had pulled in just before they got to the elevator. She didn’t dare to say anything, though. She could just talk to them tomorrow. It wasn’t every night that Papa had an arm around her, holding her close to him. She hid the smallest smile by bowing her head. Not even the elevator ride seemed scary right now.    
  
“... Papa?”   
  
Papa only squeezed her shoulder. He didn’t say a word. An aura of tenseness radiated from him. Why was he so nervous? Why wouldn’t he talk to her about it? She was there to serve, and surely that meant for this as well. Right?   
  
Gabriella glanced at the buttons. They were so high up already -- was he on the top floor or something close? It continued to climb and climb. She watched, stunned, nearly jumping when the elevator pleasantly dinged. The doors slid open, and Papa led her towards his room.    
  
He dug into his jacket pocket and pulled out the key, then opened the door.    
  
What Gabriella saw made her gasp.    
  
His room was enormous -- it had much more space than her measly two-bed room, and this room only had one! The bathroom was much larger, too, with much more space to walk around between the counter and shower. The window nearly reached the ceiling, and the blinds -- wait. The blinds were pitch black.    
  
“I added those with the help of Alpha,” he explained. He must have seen her staring at them. “They help me sleep at night.”   
  
“I see.”    
  
Papa glanced over his shoulder, then hurried them both inside. The door locked behind them with a click.    
  
It was like a weight lifted off of Papa instantly. Whereas he had been tense and quiet, now he looked relaxed and relieved. He sighed softly as he took off and hung up his jacket.    
  
“Now. Do you know why I brought you here?”   
  
Gabriella shook her head. Papa guided her towards the massive bed, lined with blankets and sheets from home. The colors didn’t match the rest of the room at all. They were red and black as opposed to the more bland and soulless tones of the decorations.    
  
He sat her down, his gentle touch lingering for just a few seconds longer than it should have. Gabriella nearly melted on the spot.    
  
“I saw you during the show tonight.” Papa gently trailed his hands down her shoulders, down her arms, eventually taking her hands in his. “You looked breathtaking. I have not seen that kind of awe from you since your first few sermons.”   
  
“Papa?”   
  
“You have been working during my papacy for a while. I always saw you working hard, promoting the ideals of Lucifer,” Papa continued. “And you have always treated the new siblings with respect and courtesy. You truly understand what devotion requires.”   
  
Gabriella was stunned into silence. A strong blush crossed her cheeks, especially when Papa sat down next to her on the bed. Their thighs were touching, and Papa’s grip on her hands only tightened. His eyes never left hers.    
  
Her heart raced in her chest. This was impossible. It shouldn’t be happening. And yet, here she was, staring at Papa, holding his hands, leaning in closer.    
  
“Show that devotion to me tonight,” he breathed out. “Prove that devotion to me.”    
  
Papa pulled her closer, then pressed his lips against hers.    
  
Gabriella froze. What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to reciprocate? What would he want? The internal questions paralyzed her, made her unable to even breathe. After a few seconds, Papa pulled back. A quizzical expression crossed his face.    
  
“... Gabriella. Do you not want this?”   
  
“N-No -- I mean! Yes! Of course I do. It is just ...” Gabriella swallowed. Suddenly, even forming the simplest of words felt like an insurmountable task. “... I have never kissed anyone before.”    
  
Papa blinked. This was the first time that he had looked stunned.    
  
“Never?”   
  
“Never.”   
  
“I assumed with your long life ...”    
  
“No. I was being trained, and then ... then I did not have time, with work,” Gabriella confessed. “Any distractions were a liability.”   
  
Some sort of emotion crossed Papa’s face. She had no idea how to interpret it. Sadness? Dismay? Simple exasperation? Gabriella regretted opening up to that extent. Surely he would want her gone now.    
  
“Do you want this?” he asked again. “I refuse to take advantage of you. Know that any oath you may have taken, any vow to serve -- it is null and void tonight. Tell me what you really want.”    
  
It felt strange to hear that. What was she, if not a servant? But it felt so wonderful to be able to say what she wanted to, and all she wanted was very simple.    
  
“I want you tonight,” she said with a foreign confidence. “I just ask for patience.”   
  
“And you shall have it.”    
  
Papa was true to his word. The next time they kissed, he gave gentle prompts that she noticed; his kisses were slow, guiding, and eventually she found herself kissing back properly. It was a strange thing to be allowed to want -- but it was ever so wonderful. Gabriella leaned forward, pressing up against Papa’s body with new eagerness.    
  
He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss. It felt so good, so new, so ... thrilling. The heat between her legs was a brand new sensation, but it wasn’t unpleasant. The more Papa touched her, the worse it got, and it became an itch to scratch.   
  
“Please --”    
  
“Shh.” Papa pulled back, letting go of her, and brushed his hand across the hem of her shirt. He motioned for Gabriella to raise her arms, and she did.    
  
Having someone else take her shirt off was new, too. But feeling his fingers graze against her bare skin made her whimper. How had she never felt this before?    
  
The cool air from the ventilation hit her skin. A small wisp of void escaped; Gabriella squeezed her eyes and refocused, forcing it down. She couldn’t let him see that. Not now. She wanted Papa to focus on her tiny pert breasts and the plain black bra that covered them.    
  
_ ‘Focus on those,’ _ she willed him.  _ ‘Please!’  _   
  
If Papa saw the slip in her glamour, he mercifully didn’t remark on it. Instead, his eyes remained fixated on her bra. His hands slipped around Gabriella, keeping her close, as he worked at the hooks of the bra. It took a bit of time, but eventually the bra fell away, exposing Gabriella’s bare breasts.    
  
She had never blushed more than she did now. Every instinct screamed to cover them up, but -- this was Papa. She wanted this. So Gabriella clutched at Papa’s pants, gripping the fabric in her hands tightly to keep them still.    
  
“Lovely,” Papa murmured softly. “Perfect for you.” He stroked her long hair, pushing strands behind her shoulder so he could admire her even more. Papa’s eyes looked so soft, so entranced ... Gabriella smiled shyly and glanced down at the bed.    
  
Any compliment from Papa was a high honor. The fact that he continued to whisper praise as he kissed down her chest almost made Gabriella dizzy with lust. His lips were so soft, so warm, so ... so ...    
  
“Ah!” Gabriella tilted her head back, whimpering with need as Papa gently kissed and nibbled at the soft flesh of her neck. One hand continued to roam her body, cupping her breasts and stroking her. The other held her up, making it impossible to squirm away from him. Not that Gabriella wanted to.    
  
“Lay down.”    
  
The world felt much colder once Papa pulled his hands away from her. Gabriella did as instructed, laying down on the thick quilt-like comforter. She laid on her back, being sure to have her body on display for him. She even dared to arch her back, pushing out her chest, just to look a little more enticing.    
  
The hungry look in Papa’s eyes made Gabriella shiver.    
  
“If I may ...” His voice wavered, but he managed to sound calm all the same. Calm. Controlled. Collected. Everything he always was when performing or giving a sermon. Papa was always in control -- this was no exception.   
  
Gabriella’s breath hitched in her throat when she felt Papa’s fingers fiddle with the button and zipper of her pants.  _ ‘This is really happening.’ _ Her mind swam with need, with desperation, but this was like a flash of lightning in a hazy fog.    
  
“If this is truly your first time, I am going to make it special for you,” Papa murmured. “Arch your hips up for me.”    
  
She did so. Her pants were tossed aside, landing haphazardly on the edge of the bed. That didn’t matter. Papa staring at her plain white panties absolutely did.    
  
Papa hooked the hem of her panties, slowly pulling them down. It almost seemed like an act of reverence, of absolute devotion in his own right. Gabriella’s heart continued to pound, partially with fear, partially with excitement. Her entire body was his to have, his to own. That heat between her legs only grew at that realization.    
  
Papa crawled towards her, laying next to her. She felt his hot breath against her ear, against stands of her hair. Gabriella shuddered with delight.   
  
Her panting turned into a soft squeal when she felt Papa’s fingers against her dripping pussy. He stroked gently and slowly, reveling in how drenched she already was.    
  
“This is how anyone is supposed to make you feel,” he whispered to her. Papa nipped the outside of her ear lightly and Gabriella let out a little squeak. “Always make sure that your pleasure is just as important as theirs.”   
  
_ ‘Papa ...’  _   
  
“Now ...”    
  
Gabriella saw stars the moment Papa inserted his finger inside of her. One finger was all it took -- she already felt so full. She clenched around his finger, whimpering as he slowly pushed it in and out of her. It got to the point where she was squirming so much that he had to hold her down.    
  
“Keep making those sounds for your Papa,” he growled. “You have never sounded better than you do now.”    
  
“P-Papa!” Gabriella cried desperately. She continued to buck against his finger, lost in the haze of lust. How had she never done this when it felt so good? “Oh -- Oh!”    
  
“Good. Just like that.”    
  
Gabriella continued to whimper and whine, squirming beneath Papa and thrusting against his finger. The pressure was building more and more with each passing second.   
  
Then, suddenly: white-hot bliss.    
  
It happened so fast that Gabriella could hardly comprehend what was happening. The hand that was holding her down suddenly clapped over her mouth. Was that her crying out and nearly screaming? Was she the one calling Papa’s name as she continued to thrust her hips forward? Everything blended together and all that mattered was the sheer pleasure she felt.    
  
Eventually, she ran out of strength. Gabriella went slack beneath Papa, struggling to catch her breath. Papa pulled his hand away from her mouth. She couldn’t hear his shaky panting over her own desperate gasps.    
  
Gabriella tried to speak, but found herself without words. When Papa kissed her again, she eagerly reciprocated.    
  
“Absolutely perfect. Your song was one I did not want to end.”    
  
Papa pulled his finger out of Gabriella, leaving her feeling empty. She bit her lip to stop another sound. She shifted somewhat, trying to get used to movement again, but found herself unable to even lift them. They trembled, but were unmovable.    
  
“U-Um ...”   
  
“Just enjoy it for now,” Papa murmured. He ran his fingers through her hair again, looking beyond pleased with himself. “Do not rush it.”   
  
“Yes, Papa.”    
  
She took a deep breath, savoring the scent of sandalwood. He must have had some of the incense still lingering on him after the show. She leaned into his gentle touches with a smile on her face.    
  
Gabriella wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but this could have gone on forever and she would have no complaints. One thing nagged at her, though; Papa hadn’t gotten any release. How was that fair to him?   
  
“... Do you want me to ...” She couldn’t bear to quite finish the question; she had no idea how to phrase it. She looked at him, trying to take in the wonderful sight of him, and blushed when she saw the hint of a smirk on his face. He must have known exactly what she meant.    
  
Words weren’t needed. Papa began to strip in front of her, taking his time with removing each article of clothing. It almost seemed like a striptease in a way. Gabriella couldn’t tear her eyes away, especially when his shirt was discarded. She’d never seen a man shirtless before, and she had no idea what to expect -- but he looked absolutely sublime. She shifted and sat up, reaching over to touch his bare chest.    
  
He felt so warm to the touch. Papa’s shaky breath encouraged her, and Gabriella continued to gently stroke his torso, slowly gaining more confidence and going down further and further down, past his abdomen and to his sides. Gabriella flinched away when she got to his pants, and Papa chuckled.    
  
“You are all right.” Then, he began to unzip his trousers.    
  
Gabriella watched, entranced, as Papa stepped out of each pant leg. The boxers went with them, leaving him naked before her. His erect cock caught her eye immediately, and she nearly paled. It wasn’t massive, but it looked big enough where it could hurt if she wasn’t careful.    
  
It was as if Papa knew about her fears -- and she didn't even have to say anything. “We will take it slow.” Papa took her hand and directed her to another area of the bed. She obeyed. Papa laid down on the bed, taking a similar position to where Gabriella had been not too long ago.    
  
Gabriella might have been inexperienced, but it didn’t take much to put two and two together.    
  
“You want me on top of you?”   
  
“Do not get me wrong. I am still in control here.” Gabriella didn’t even dare to doubt it; the twinkle in his eye, the chuckle ... it said everything. Her cheeks flushed darker. “But your comfort matters as well.”    
  
Papa once again directed Gabriella, helping her settle on top of him. His cock grazed against her bare thigh -- another new sensation that left her whimpering. Was she really already up for another round this soon? It seemed impossible. But here they were.    
  
“Rise up a little. You can touch it. Just make sure it lines up with you.”    
  
Gabriella knew what he meant. She lifted herself up, then gently took his cock in her hand. It felt hard and soft all at once. Strange, but not unpleasant. She lined it up with her entrance, positioning herself carefully.    
  
“N-Now?” she asked, voice trembling.    
  
“Now.”    
  
Gabriella slowly lowered herself onto Papa’s cock. His finger had felt big enough inside of her, but this was a whole new level. She fought to hide a little whimper, but it still came through.    
  
“Please. Slower, if it makes you comfortable.”    
  
Gabriella sighed with relief. The head of his cock had already pushed inside of her, so all she had to do was just push herself down at her own pace. Her tiny, delicate hands rested on Papa’s chest. Her hair had fallen forward, brushing against his skin. Lucifer, she must look so messy and unprofessional.    
  
Another wisp. Another failed bit of glamour that she promptly covered up. She had to make sure he didn’t notice.   
  
“Oh,  _ yes _ ,” Papa hissed as Gabriella pushed down further. Gabriella gasped and trembled as his cock filled her. It slipped in much easier with her wetness still coating her walls, and made it that much better for the both of them. “Good little bird.”    
  
“Papa!”    
  
She clutched at his shoulders for a brief moment, just to brace herself for the next step. Now that he was fully inside of her, she had to initiate the movement. Gabriella began to ride him; slowly, then gradually increasing the pace the more comfortable she got.    
  
Before she knew it, she was riding him as fast as she could possibly manage. Her ghoul side made that just a bit faster than a full human could do, much to Papa’s surprise. He couldn’t even form words, instead opting for primal grunts and groans. He gripped Gabriella’s hips tightly, keeping her steady as she rode him.    
  
It was almost too much --  _ almost. _ But Gabriella found herself lost in the feeling of his bare cock inside of her, how it filled her so completely and fully, how nice it felt to have him having his way with her like this --    
  
Papa gasped, a new sound that was music to her ears, and then his cock pulsed inside of her. Gabriella instinctively sheathed his cock in her pussy, clenching around it as tightly as she could manage. She couldn’t help but glow with pride when he came.    
  
Gabriella clutched at Papa tightly, whimpering in delight as she felt him spill his seed inside of her. It would worry any other Sibling of Sin, perhaps, but there was no risk; not with her genetic makeup. All Papa had to do was enjoy.    
  
And enjoy he did. Gabriella smiled at the sight of him. His eyes were closed, his breathing ragged and shallow, and his smile ... Lucifer below, his smile. She had never seen him look so pleased with her. She had never seen him look this  _ happy _ before. What a wonderful sight. Simply wonderful.   
  
There was a mess she’d have to clean up, surely. Gabriella expected that much. But she couldn’t bring herself to even be irritated about it. It was painful to pull herself off of Papa, but she knew she couldn’t stay like that for too long.    
  
“Shall I clean us up, Papa?”    
  
“Do so, yes.”    
  
She had never been happier cleaning up a mess. She wiped herself off, shivering when she accidentally brushed against her clit, and then took another towel to clean off Papa. He had gone soft by now, but she didn’t care. He still looked absolutely wonderful.    
  
Gabriella put the towels back into the bathroom. One glance at the mirror showed how much of a mess she was. Her hair was all over the place, her face was flushed, and her makeup had been ruined. Yet, none of this bothered her.    
  
She wasn’t shocked to see Papa tucked under the sheets when she returned. Her smile only grew, even though she knew their time was at an end. She crouched down and began to gather her clothes to redress --    
  
“... Stay here tonight, if you would.” Gabriella looked up, shocked at Papa’s request. Her heart fluttered.    
  
“I would be happy to,” she said simply.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after -- and Gabriella's afterglow doesn't last for too long.

Gabriella wasn’t sure what time it was when she woke up. The blinds Papa had put up hid the harsh light of the morning sun, and the alarm hadn’t blared yet. She tried to peer over Papa’s sleeping form to check, but it was just too far away. Not that she minded.   
  
She couldn’t think of a more peaceful way to wake up: lying next to Papa’s sleeping form, hearing his soft breaths, and having his arm wrapped around her. Gabriella snuggled in close, relishing in the contact.   
  
Last night felt like a dream, but she could vividly remember so much of it. She couldn’t imagine how he made her feel, nor could she even dare to dream of being asked to stay after. Clearly he had enjoyed it just as much as she did. Maybe he would want to do this again? She clutched at him, holding him closer, burying her face into the crook of his neck. _‘I will ask when he wakes up.’_

Right now, she didn’t want to disturb him. Papa had worked so hard last night singing his heart out onstage. He had done such a wonderful job, too. Gabriella shut her eyes, remembering the moment he had looked at her, the sheer power of his performance, the way he shone under the lights ...   
  
“Good morning, Gabriella.”   
  
Papa shifted, turning himself to face Gabriella. He had rubbed off his face paint before sleeping, so Gabriella was able to see his regular face up close. He looked just as stunning without makeup as he did with it. He looked soft, gentle -- tender. She reached up to stroke his cheek and he leaned into the touch.   
  
“Good morning, Papa.”   
  
“I assume you slept well.”  
  
“I did. Did you?”   
  
Papa nodded, then pulled away from Gabriella. He sat up and promptly began to get ready for the day. She watched him with a smile on her face as he began to sort through his clothes and picked an outfit. It was something nice and casual -- odd for Papa, but it would definitely look good on him ...   
  
“You may wish to get ready to go,” he said pointedly. “They will be looking for you.”  
  
Oh.   
  
Gabriella’s heart sank, but she obliged. She got out of bed and began to gather her clothes, not truly caring if she grabbed everything or not. All she needed were her shirt and pants; the rest was unnecessary. She just needed to get out of here as fast as possible.   
  
One question gnawed away at her, though, even in her haste to leave.  
  
“Was it unsatisfactory?” Gabriella asked dejectedly. She struggled to put on her shirt. “I did not mean to --”  
  
“No, no. It was not that at all.” Papa looked over towards Gabriella. He had that fond smile on his face again, but it did nothing to ease Gabriella. “I appreciated your devotion. I just needed release.”   
  
_Oh._   
  
“So ... you do not wish to see me again?”  
  
“I did not say that,” Papa said. He didn’t even sound vaguely irritated. How? “It is not about not wanting to see you again. I just want to be sure you do not get the wrong idea about things. I like you enough to take a risk to have you here. So please do not take offense.”   
  
Wait. What did he mean by that? Before Gabriella could ask, Papa nodded respectfully and went into the bathroom. She stared after him, still clutching her trousers over her chest, dumbfounded. She stood like that for a few seconds before she forced herself to start moving again. She managed to get the trousers on after a bit of a struggle, then made her way to the mirror.   
  
Her hair was still a mess, but the glamour quickly fixed that and her smeared makeup. Gabriella now looked as impeccable as ever, even though it took just a bit of extra energy. Just as she got to the door, the bathroom door opened and Papa stepped out.   
  
“I --”  
  
Before Gabriella could say anything, Papa enveloped Gabriella in a somewhat awkward, but very welcome hug. Gabriella hugged him back tightly; a part of her never wanted to let go, but she knew it couldn’t last forever. He patted her on the back a couple of times before letting go.   
  
“Now, go help Susanna pack,” Papa said kindly. He stroked her hair one last time, then kissed the top of her head. “I appreciated your company. Thank you.”   
  
Those words and soft actions were more than enough. Gabriella smiled up at Papa, then rushed out of his room to get back to her own. What was it again? It was on the first floor, she remembered that much. 126? Yes, that had to be it.   
  
Gabriella hurried to the elevator. As much as she disliked them, she knew that going down that many flights of stairs wouldn’t be good for her. She still flinched when the doors slid open, and she jumped when the elevator started going down, but she was soon too lost in her own thoughts to truly care that much.   
  
She had slept with Papa. _Papa,_ of all people. And she hadn’t been so terrible that he wanted her out immediately. Gabriella hid her ecstatic grin with her hands, and hopped in sheer glee. Papa could’ve had anyone, and he chose her. Sure, it was upsetting that she couldn’t see him again soon, but ... he’d want to! She could almost fly if he wanted her to. Maybe he would want to see her again after this next show? She could only hope.  
  
The elevator stopped. Its sudden jolt didn’t even faze Gabriella this time. She nearly skipped to room 126, then opened the door. Well, tried to -- it was stuck.   
  
_‘Oh, shoot. I do not have a key.’_  
  
“Um, Susanna?” Gabriella knocked a couple of times. There was no answer. She knocked again, a bit more frantically this time. Still no answer. “Susanna?”  
  
“Gabriella?”   
  
Gabriella turned to see Susanna coming down the hallway with a breakfast tray. She looked just as stunned to see Gabriella as Gabriella was to see her. Wasn’t breakfast supposed to be in that side room?   
  
Susanna hurried over to Gabriella, basically thrusting the tray into her arms, then fished for the key from her pocket. “When we get into the room, I want an explanation of where you’ve been. I’ve been worried sick.”   
  
“I am --”  
  
Susanna opened the door, ushering Gabriella inside rather forcefully. While Susanna couldn’t exactly slam the door, she applied enough force that the resulting click was much louder than it should have been. She snatched the tray from Gabriella’s hands and set it down on the table.   
  
“Where have you been, Gabriella?” she asked harshly. “Matthew and a few others were asking for you, and I had to make up an answer. They were worried, too.”   
  
“I apologize,” Gabriella said sheepishly. She couldn’t bear to look Susanna in the eye. “I thought --”  
  
“I know you went with Papa, but I didn’t think you’d be gone the whole night. What happened?”  
  
“I ... I ...” Words died before she could even form them. Gabriella blushed brightly from embarrassment, unable to even think straight anymore. In the end, she just blurted out the truth: “I was with Papa the entire night. In his bed.”  
  
Susanna froze. She stared at Gabriella, stunned. A whole gauntlet of emotions crossed her face. Shock, dismay, anger, worry ... she could hardly keep track. Eventually, Susanna spoke again; it made Gabriella’s blood run cold.   
  
“Don’t tell anyone about that. You shouldn’t have even told me.”   
  
“Why not? It happened, and lying --”  
  
“Lying is going to save your ass,” Susanna said sternly. She pinched the bridge of her nose and began to pace across the carpet, muttering to herself. Gabriella couldn’t make heads or tails of any of it. “Damn it, damn it, damn it ... if I had known he was going to want that, I would’ve told him no!”   
  
Gabriella started. Telling Papa no? She would’ve been in even more trouble than Gabriella would apparently be! What was going on with her?  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Why do you think? Do you think Sister’s going to be okay with him sleeping with a ghoul? Never mind a half-human ghoul!” Susanna sighed deeply, like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. It may as well have been. “There’s a difference between sleeping with a groupie compared to a servant. I hate it, you hate it, but you’re a servant ghoul.”  
  
Gabriella flinched, but said nothing.   
  
“Look, I won’t say anything to her. I’m not a snitch. But you need to be really, really careful about this. Gabriella, I’m not kidding when I say this can come and bite you in the ass.”   
  
“Why?” Gabriella’s voice wavered. Tears stung at her eyes, and the glamour she worked so hard to put up started to flicker. “I do not understand.”  
  
“Shit, I don’t understand either, but I know it’s important to follow. No -- look. I’m sorry.” Susanna rushed over to Gabriella and gave her a tight hug, squeezing even tighter. Gabriella thought her ribs were going to crack from the sheer force of it. “You didn’t know. There was no way you could have. And I’m going to give Papa a piece of my mind --”  
  
“Please, no,” Gabriella whispered.   
  
“All right. I won’t give him a piece of my mind. But I am going to tell him to be straight up with you next time if he wants to take that risk again. He must have just assumed you would have known ...”   
  
Gabriella sniffled, clutched at Susanna’s shirt, and began to openly sob. Susanna smoothed down her messy hair, and the remaining makeup smeared even further. She was a mess, she was sure of it.   
  
“Shh, it’s okay, Gabriella. It’s okay. Just take a breath. You’re gonna be fine.”   
  
“I ... I ...”  
  
“You’re gonna be okay.”   
  
Their breakfast went cold as Gabriella continued to cry.

* * *

Gabriella stared out the window as the bus continued to move.   
  
_“Don’t tell anyone. I mean anyone,” Susanna said as she continued to pack. “It’s too risky. This is a secret you have to take to the grave.”_   
  
She clenched her hands together tightly, not caring how white her knuckles turned.   
  
“Hey, Gabby! You all right?”   
  
“Mm.”   
  
Matthew didn’t try to talk to her again, but she did hear him talking to Susanna instead.   
  
“Hey, she okay?”   
  
“Yeah, she’s fine. Well, she will be fine. She’s a bit down because we couldn’t get any recruits last night. She’s beating herself up about it.”   
  
“Oh, shit, no wonder. I feel bad for putting pressure on her now ...”   
  
After that, no one bothered to try and talk to her. Gabriella didn’t care; it was impossible to hold a conversation right now, anyway. All she could do was focus on keeping her glamour intact and not break down into pathetic sobs.   
  
_“These things get around, and it won’t be Papa that faces the consequences for it. I just want you safe, Gabriella. So just look after yourself. Okay?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Yes, Susanna. I won’t tell anyone.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Look, I’m serious about this. Don’t even tell your own mother.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I understand.”_   
  
Gabriella pulled down the blinds over the window to block the scenery and the setting sun. She snuggled into her turtleneck shirt, hugging herself to calm herself down. She shut her eyes, taking a few deep breaths, and tried to sleep. It was a long way until the next hotel; she didn’t want to try to hold herself together for the last few hours of the trip.   
  
Memories of her tryst with Papa made her feel a mix of fondness and dread now; that only made her sink further into her seat, nearly curling up into a little ball. Despite this, it was all she could think about. It was all she _wanted_ to think about.   
  
The next show couldn’t come fast enough. A distraction would be the best possible thing for her right now. It would be better to get back to normal -- to just recruit as many humans to their cause as possible. It was what she was meant for. It was all she was supposed to do.   
  
Gabriella bit back further tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I have the headcanon that these things were extraordinarily strict before Papa III came and loosened things up. So. Yeah.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finally having a good night of recruitment (and enjoying another concert), Gabriella retires to the hotel to celebrate. Something, however, changes her plans for the evening.

“... and we will be having a sermon next Sunday, to give Papa Emeritus the First a little time to recoup after the shows. You can come by then, if you wish. Hearing one of his sermons will give you a good idea about who we are and what we do.”   
  
The woman in front of Gabriella examined the pamphlet carefully, then nodded eagerly. Blonde curls bounced as she did so, and the smaller parts of her jangly earrings clinked together. “I can totally do that, actually. I’ve been looking for something like this.”   
  
“We would be happy to have you. Our church is a welcoming one.” Gabriella smiled brightly and held out her hand for the pamphlet. The woman obliged. “Here. I will write my name on here -- it is Gabriella. You can ask for me, and I will be sure to look after you.”   
  
“Thank you so much.”   
  
Gabriella waved as the woman walked away, then let out a deep, relieved sigh. Her shoulders sagged.   
  
Finally, a successful recruiting job.   
  
“You handled that great, Gabriella!” Susanna ruffled Gabriella’s hair, beaming so brightly that Gabriella was sure that she’d need sunglasses. “Look at you! See? I told you we’d get people!”   
  
“I just wish it did not take three shows to do ...”   
  
“Shh. No. The point is we got someone, and the show hasn’t even started yet! Just think about what we’ll be able to do after!”   
  
Gabriella thought ahead as instructed. They most likely wouldn’t get too many, since the crowd was much smaller than the festival, but these people were seemingly looking for an escape, some relief from the hard days of their lives. At least, that one woman had been. If anyone else was in her position, maybe they could help. Maybe they could offer the getaway they needed.   
  
Gabriella peered over Susanna’s shoulder towards the small stage. A crowd had already gathered at the edge of it -- well, as close as the metal bar allowed. Ghost’s equipment had already been set up. Being the opening act absolutely had its perks; they were allowed to set up sooner and would have more time during the entire show.   
  
It would mean more results.   
  
Susanna glanced between Gabriella and the stage, raising an eyebrow. “You haven’t seen a show in a while.”   
  
“About a week, yes.”   
  
“You’re looking at the stage like it’s a long-lost lover.”   
  
Wait. Had she? Gabriella blinked dumbly as she stared up at Susanna. Her brow furrowed, and she worked her mouth briefly to try and form words of protest. She hadn’t been staring at the stage like that. Watching concerts wasn’t her job -- recruitment was. How could Susanna even think --   
  
“Yes you are.”   
  
Gabriella managed to hide her blush with her glamour by some miracle. Only her sheepish stammering gave her away.   
  
“Look, I can handle things here. I saw the last couple of shows, so I’ll be nice. You can have this one. Just be back before the end, all right?”   
  
“Thank you so much.”   
  
“Yeah, yeah, get goin’.” Susanna clapped Gabriella on the shoulder, then turned back to grab a few pamphlets. Gabriella didn’t hesitate; she crossed the room, maneuvering through the crowd of people to get as close to the front as possible.   
  
This group of people, however, weren’t as courteous as the ones before. Gabriella wouldn’t be able to see if she was stuck behind all of these taller people; didn’t they realize that? A quick drop of her glamour, however, could fix this. She slipped between the open spaces, being sure to reform herself as soon as they looked.   
  
If they wanted to complain, they’d have to answer as to how she got there in the first place. And would they really want to do that? Gabriella already knew the answer to that. A sly little smile crossed her face as she leaned against the metal bars.   
  
Alpha’s guitar was already on the stage, as were Earth’s drums. The keyboards for Air had already been set up, too. Water’s instrument was off to the side, same with Omega’s. That would save them all quite a bit of time, wouldn’t it?   
  
Gabriella cheered with the rest of the people as the lights dimmed to a blood red. The familiar chanting and strings began to play as the ghouls filed onstage. More than one of them glanced at Gabriella -- at least, she assumed so. It was hard to tell with void ghouls, or at least ghouls masquerading as such.   
  
She had gotten used to seeing them at this point between hotels and being onstage. They had a wonderful stage presence, ominous and welcoming all at once. The passion for their craft showed in little ways -- the way they carefully picked up their instruments, the way they looked at each other with silent nods of encouragement, Air’s jittery foot when he was excited to play ...   
  
It was the little things that made a difference. These weren’t things that she had noticed during their very first show. The ghouls had seemed more tense back then. Amazing that just two more shows could change so much --   
  
_‘Papa!’_   
  
Gabriella’s heart leapt as she watched Papa walk onto the stage. Even he seemed more at ease with this. The hand holding the censer seemed more relaxed than before, and his stony face seemed a lot more even and measured. She couldn’t help but stare -- at least no one would look at her strangely for doing so.   
  
Papa’s eyes looked over her; it was just for a moment, but Gabriella still felt butterflies in her stomach. He had been examining the whole crowd. She shouldn’t overthink it. She kept thinking that over and over, desperate to not get her hopes up, but all efforts were useless when his gaze swept over the crowd again. Even just for a second, him seeing her ...   
  
What was wrong with her? He had made his position very clear. It was a risk, anyways. But it was hard to not long for him, not with his incredible voice and the powerful presence he had. It’s almost like he had a spell over the crowd with each concert. Even when she could only hear him and not see him, it was something else.   
  
The lineup was the same as before. That wasn’t surprising, considering they had only one album, but it made Gabriella feel special to be able to pick out which song would be next. They sounded even better than the time she listened last. Each note was pure perfection, every sung lyric a religious experience.   
  
Gabriella found herself shouting what lyrics she knew along with the crowd. That earned her another glance from Papa -- and a hint of a smile. He then refocused on his duties.   
  
Gabriella felt like she was floating on a cloud for the whole concert after that. So much so that she felt like it was a call back to reality when she actually heard him speak.   
  
“Our time together is near an end,” he said to the crowd. Gabriella startled, then backed away from the metal bar. A few of the people shuffled around her, clearly vying for the coveted front row, and she had managed to worm her way out of the front end of the massive room, towards the back where Susanna was.   
  
She stood there, waiting expectantly, and chuckled as soon as Gabriella showed up.   
  
“Just in time. You were cutting it close there.”   
  
“I apologize,” Gabriella said over Papa’s voice in the background. Speaking over him almost felt like sacrilege. “I got wrapped up in the music.”   
  
“Happened to me too. You’re all right.”   
  
Gabriella sighed with relief. “It does not help that they seem much more comfortable now and are much more fun to watch ...”   
  
“Just like someone else I know.” Susanna grabbed a couple of pamphlets, then turned back to face Gabriella. “Ready to get some new recruits?”   
  
Gabriella glanced nervously at the small shelf, stuffed with pamphlets, then nodded. The show had hyped her, and now she was ready to sell the abbey and its clergy to people who needed that escape. It was time to get started.   
  
The first person came up just as Ritual’s final notes faded amid the wild applause. 

* * *

An hour after the main show ended and fifteen new recruits later, Gabriella and Susanna were lugging the pamphlet bag and the deconstructed shelf back to the bus.  
  
“You did -- enf -- great tonight!” Susanna said. She struggled to fit the shelf between the two amps. They hadn’t been stacked perfectly tonight, apparently. Gabriella stepped forward to help, but by the time she got there, Susanna was able to slot it. “Seriously, you were on fire. I knew you had it in you!”   
  
“It helps that there were more people.” Gabriella still smiled as she put the bag into the storage spot. “They were very, very interested in what we did. It was ... It ... uh ...”   
  
“An easier sell, right?”   
  
“Yes,” Gabriella muttered sheepishly. “But it just feels wrong to say that. These are people, not numbers.”   
  
“Not according to Sister,” Susanna retorted. Her sardonic chuckle made Gabriella blink. “They’re all numbers once they get in there. You know her.”   
  
“Yes.”   
  
Gabriella didn’t really like to think about it -- or Sister as a whole, really. She had always ruled the clergy with an iron fist, never wavering in her demands or expectations. Ghouls had it especially hard; any failure ... Gabriella shivered at the incomplete thought and put it out of her mind.   
  
Right now, she and Susanna were celebrating a strong victory. She shouldn’t diminish that with this sort of talk.   
  
“Ready to get on the bus and sit down?” Susanna asked. “Your legs must be killing you. I know that because mine are almost dead.”   
  
“Yes, please.”   
  
The steps into the tour bus felt more like an insurmountable mountain than simple steps. Gabriella collapsed in the closest open seat with a relieved sigh. 

The entire crew was in noticeably high spirits. Even though they were all sweaty and exhausted, the chatter was as noisy as ever. This time, however, Gabriella found herself actively listening as opposed to just staring out the window.   
  
The bus revved to life and began to move.   
  
“Hey, Greg, so how about that brush with Papa, eh? You were blushing so hard I thought you were going to explode.” Matthew nudged his friend, cackling as he did so. Greg slapped him upside the head, which only made Matthew laugh harder.   
  
“It was just --”   
  
“Aww, were you embarrassed that you dropped the mic stand in front of him?” If Greg could have legally strangled Matthew, Gabriella was sure that he would. But all that ensued was a slap fight that Jenny had to promptly break up.   
  
“You suck!”   
  
“Nah, fuck you--”   
  
“Asmodeus’ sake, you two are impossible,” she said while laughing. “You bicker like an old married couple.”   
  
Gabriella just shook her head, smiling all the while. Susanna nudged her subtly, then leaned in and whispered, “They’re definitely acting like a married couple. Just saying.”   
  
“I feel like that is none of our business,” Gabriella said, even as she recalled the time Greg won Matthew a stuffed unicorn. “It would be rude to infringe --”   
  
“Hey, Matthew!” Susanna called. “Why do you pick on the poor guy so much, huh? You like him or something?”   
  
A guitar pick sailed across the bus, just barely smacking Susanna on the arm. Both she and Gabriella started laughing hysterically. Gabriella grabbed the pick and threw it back at Matthew. It hit him straight on the shoulder.   
  
“Ow, shit!”   
  
“C’mon, Matthew, it was just a guitar pick,” Greg taunted. “Couldn’t have hurt that bad unless you're a wuss.”   
  
“Gabriella has a fucking arm on her, man!” Matthew rubbed his shoulder where the pick hit, grumbling.   
  
“Her? Really?” Greg rolled his eyes. “I could pick her up and snap her in half --”   
  
“Do not underestimate half-ghouls,” Gabriella said with a giggle. “We can be quite ferocious.”   
  
As soon as she realized what she had admitted to, Gabriella tensed. These people had just assumed that she was a human. They might treat her differently --   
  
“Aw, shit, that explains so much.” Matthew groaned and let his head flop back against the headrest. “Didn’t think we humans would be considered important enough to be riding with a ghoul! That’s fucking dope!”   
  
“Please don’t pick me up and snap me in half,” Greg added apologetically.   
  
Never mind.   
  
A wave of relaxation washed over Gabriella, and she immediately found herself firing back with delight. “I will consider it.” Gabriella grinned wolfishly, and was about to say something else before Susanna cut in.   
  
“I hate to break up the party, but we’re at the hotel, you lot. Time to wind down and get some sleep. Or at least tone down the teasing.”   
  
A chorus of ‘awws’ rang through the bus at Susanna’s announcement, but the chatter resumed even as the bus pulled into the back parking lot with the other ones. Gabriella peered out of the window, smiling to herself as she saw Papa walk towards the front of the building.   
  
She shut the blinds before he could see her.   
  
“All right, everyone. Time to get checked in. I’ll meet you all inside. Gabriella, could you get my suitcase?”   
  
“Of course, Susanna.” 

* * *

“I still do not like these,” Gabriella muttered as the elevator ascended.   
  
“I know, but we’re on the sixth floor this time,” Susanna explained. She shrugged. “If you want to run up and down the stairs with luggage, be my guest, but this is going to be a lot easier.”   
  
Gabriella knew Susanna was right. Even so, the rickety elevator was far worse than the previous ones. It shook as it rose, and Gabriella nearly jumped once it jerked to a halt. The doors opened, and the duo began the long trek to their room in silence.   
  
“I’m wiped,” Susanna said as she opened the door to the room. “Hungry too, though. Want me to grab a snack while you get us settled? Least I can do after you brought in my stuff.”   
  
“That would be nice, but I do not know what --”   
  
“I’ve seen what you get. I’ll try and find something good.” Susanna shuffled inside, inspecting the room. After hearing a positive hum, Gabriella could only assume that the room met her expectations. Gabriella left Susanna’s suitcase near the bed closer to the alarm clock and placed her duffel bag on the other bed.   
  
“It seems fine to me,” Gabriella said. “I must say, I am getting rather used to this ...”   
  
“Yep, not bad. Okay, I’ll go ahead and leave one of the keys on the table.” Susanna dropped one of the keys on the table next to the television. “And I will be right back. See you in a few!”   
  
With that, Susanna was out the door.   
  
Gabriella took a deep breath, then flopped on the bed. She stared at the ceiling for just a few moments, taking in the ambiance. The only thing she could hear was the hum of the air conditioning and the sounds of rushing cars outside. It was surprising how normal it sounded; a couple of weeks ago, she wouldn’t have been able to even imagine it. Now, here she was chatting with humans, seeing the outside world, sleeping on a comfortable bed ...   
  
Things could change so quickly.   
  
She had a liaison with Papa. She had spoken to him, touched him ... had him all to herself for a night. The secrecy of it almost gave her a bit of a thrill now, like it was a dirty little secret rather than the life-threatening situation it could turn into if she wasn’t careful. Gabriella had to hold onto that, or she’d break down all over again.   
  
It could be worse. Far worse. At least she had friends she could talk to; now that they knew that she was a ghoul, she wouldn’t have to hold back as much. And they liked her -- they had liked her from day one. _‘How surreal.’_ She didn’t think she was that likable.   
  
Gabriella closed her eyes and let her body go lax. If she wasn’t careful, she could just fall asleep here and now.   
  
There was a knock at the door.   
  
_‘That was quick.’_   
  
“Coming, Susanna.”   
  
Maybe her hands were full? Why would she get _that_ many snacks? Actually, how could she get that many that quickly? Regardless, Gabriella bounded towards the door and opened it -- only to see no one there.   
  
“What ...?”   
  
She stared for a moment, perplexed, and was just about to just the door when she noticed a small envelope on the floor. Gabriella looked both ways, eyes narrowed. There wasn’t anyone nearby. Who had left this?   
  
Curiosity overtook her. She snatched up the envelope and hurriedly went back into her room, letting the door shut behind her.   
  
It was such a simple, plain white envelope. It didn’t even have the typical seal at the abbey -- it had something more ... elaborate, something fancier. Wax? And was that the grucifix? Gabriella opened it carefully, being sure to keep the wax seal intact.   
  
_‘Room 412. Wear your nightgown. Make sure no one sees you.’_

Gabriella gaped. The handwriting looked familiar -- was it Papa’s? No, it couldn’t be. He wouldn’t ... _would_ he risk it?   
  
The pull to obey wasn’t from her ghoulish side. Her hands trembled as she changed into her plain knee-length black nightgown. Her knees were close to shaking, too. Should she wear her shoes too? Yes, she didn’t want to get kicked out. She’d wear them and just leave them at his door. That would work.   
  
But there was another problem: What would Susanna think? Gabriella hesitated at the thought, even as she glamoured herself further to impress Papa. A smoky-eyed look would be something he would like, right? Many people at the concerts have had something similar, and maybe ...   
  
Thoughts of Susanna crept up again, interrupting her train of thought. Gabriella couldn’t help a pain of guilt. She had warned Gabriella of how dangerous it was. But if she showed that she’d learned her lesson and not told her ... no, if she didn’t leave any hints again, Susanna would tear the hotel apart looking for her. She couldn’t risk that.   
  
Gabriella hesitated. If she left the note in an obvious place, she could trust Susanna to not do anything or raise any alarms. Maybe writing her own note wouldn’t be a bad idea, either.   
  
As soon as she scribbled down a small note, Gabriella slipped on her flats and grabbed her room key. She slipped out into the empty hallway and made her way to the stairs, heart racing with anticipation. As much of a mistake as this was, she couldn't resist. She didn't even want to try.  
  
She just hoped the reward was worth the risk.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriella is called to a room. She unable to resist the promise of carnal desires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another spicy chapter! Last one for a good long while, so enjoy 8P

Gabriella stood in front of the door, conflicted.    
  
She could ignore what had been requested of her. It wasn’t too late to turn back. She could go back to her room and just forget about all of this. The little affair with Papa would be done and she could go on with her life. There wouldn’t be any risk.    
  
But turning down an offer like this from Papa? Impossible. She couldn’t bear to do it. Not when he made her feel so good and when he was so gentle and kind ...    
  
Gabriella took a deep breath and knocked on the door. She waited there for what felt like an eternity, tortured by the sounds of frantic, hurried footsteps. Mercifully, the door opened to reveal Papa -- in nothing but a silken, blood red bathrobe. Gabriella’s cheeks turned pink very, very quickly.   
  
She opened her mouth to greet him, but Papa cut her off. “In. Quickly.”    
  
Gabriella didn’t hesitate.    
  
Of course, his room was much more luxurious than hers. She didn’t even bother to stop and gape this time; this was Papa’s room. Luxury was to be expected. She let herself be ushered to the couch and seated. The fabric felt oddly cool against the hem of her nightgown. She shifted to pull it down somewhat, just enough to cover the underside of her knee.  _ ‘Much better.’ _   
  
“G-Good evening, Papa.”    
  
“Good evening, Gabriella. Wine?”    
  
“Yes, please.”    
  
Neither of them spoke as Papa poured out two glasses of a red wine. Gabriella took the offered glass with a shy ‘thank you’, and scooted to the side of the couch to give Papa room to sit. She pointedly did not look at him.    
  
Papa cleared his throat and then took a sip of the wine. “... It is a Masseto Merlot,” he muttered. “2006. A fine year.”    
  
“Oh. Yes.” Gabriella wasn’t sure if it was or not, but best to taste to find out. She took a sip, decided it wasn’t for her, and then took another one to make sure that Papa’s hospitality wasn’t wasted. “Lovely.”    
  
“It is.”    
  
Another awkward silence. The duo simply sipped at their wine, intentionally keeping some space between them. Every time Gabriella’s foot brushed up against him, she quickly jerked it back. Her entire face had turned red, nearly matching the shade of the wine.    
  
“... I ...”    
  
“I will be frank,” Papa said. Gabriella could feel his eyes on her; her gaze flickered up to meet his. The sheer intensity of his stare would have made her knees knock together if they had been standing. Even now, her hand that held the wine glass trembled. “I want you. But I need you to know how dangerous this is. We are both risking a great deal.”   
  
Gabriella knew he was being kind. Really, she was the one risking more by doing this. But she nodded nonetheless, not even daring to look away.    
  
“If we do this, you must tell no one. You must not even tell Susanna.” He gave her a pointed look, and she shrunk beneath it. “She is the one I had to endure a lecture from. But I did earn it. I should have been straightforward with you.”   
  
Gabriella’s eyes were like saucers. She stared in plain shock, mouth agape. She managed to pull herself together enough to stammer, “I am so sorry, Papa.”   
  
“No. I deserved it. I should not have assumed anything.” Papa sighed heavily, rubbing his temples with his free hand. “I put you in danger. For that, I cannot overstate how sorry  _ I _ am.”   
  
“You did nothing --”   
  
“I did.”    
  
Gabriella tore her eyes away from Papa, sipping again at the wine. She pursed her lips as she swallowed. “But I wanted it too. Does that not mean I should have been aware of the consequences?”   
  
“I should not have assumed.  _ That  _ is the problem. I  _ assumed _ you knew. I should have checked first.”   
  
It almost felt like she was being pulled in two directions. Papas never had to apologize for anything. Nihil didn’t, and the First certainly didn’t have any reason to -- not that she could see. And yet, she was grateful for an apology that wasn't necessary. It  _ wasn’t _ necessary, right? But he was looking at her so nervously, a finger tapping the side of the glass. Words failed her; all Gabriella could do was nod in appreciation. Hopefully he understood.    
  
The smile she received in return told her that he did.    
  
“So. With the risks in mind ... Gabriella, will you join me in bed tonight?”    
  
“Yes.” She answered without hesitation and with a tremor in her voice. “Yes, I will.”    
  
“Even though you must keep it secret?”   
  
“Yes.”   
  
Papa paused before setting his wine glass aside. He took Gabriella’s hand and squeezed gently. She stared at him, heart hammering in her chest. She almost felt dizzy. How pitiful to be so compromised over such simple gestures.    
  
“You are too valuable to the ministry to lose, Gabriella. I have seen how hard you work. So promise me that you will be careful. Do  _ not _ tell anyone. Do not put yourself at risk. I feel rather selfish for doing this to you. But ...” Papa stroked her knuckles with his thumb. “I can hardly help it.”   
  
“You?  _ Selfish _ ?” Gabriella couldn’t help but laugh, even though she chided herself for it. “I cannot even imagine that. Being so dedicated to Lucifer and our cause ... you are the least selfish man I know. And I have been watching your work for many years.”   
  
“We all have our vices, I suppose.” They shared a laugh this time. Gabriella found herself leaning in closer towards Papa, grazing her fingers against the edge of his robe. Her fingers flinched back. “And it appears that my vice is you. I could have done far worse.”   
  
With that, he kissed her.    
  
This time, the kiss started off slow and tender. Papa cupped Gabriella’s cheek as he kissed her deeply, keeping her as close as possible. She didn’t resist and even scooted forward, just to rest her thighs close to his own. Her nightgown rode up somewhat, showing more of her bare skin, but she paid no mind.    
  
Papa’s hand ran up her thigh slowly and carefully, almost like he was afraid of breaking her. His fingertips just barely touched her; the touch itself was as light as a feather, and the sensation made Gabriella giggle. He pulled back from the kiss, panting from the exertion, then immediately went for her nightgown. He pulled it up slowly, savoring the slow unveiling of Gabriella’s body -- and Gabriella just lifted her arms and let it happen.    
  
“Hm. Very risque, having no bra.”    
  
“I usually do not sleep with it on,” Gabriella confessed.    
  
“All the better for me, then.”    
  
He didn’t go for her breasts as she expected. Instead, he rose from his seat and extended a hand towards Gabriella. She took it, standing up as quickly as she could manage.    
  
“It is your turn.”   
  
Gabriella stared blankly at Papa.    
  
“I believe I denied you the pleasure of undressing me,” Papa said with a chuckle. “I am making up for it now. If you please?”   
  
Ah. That made sense. Gabriella blushed as she began to undo the small bow that held the robe together. She could see the outlines of his torso, a hint of his abs ... he was nearly skin and bone. Was this why he didn’t let her strip him last time?    
  
Gabriella let out a soft breath as she pushed the robe off, letting it fall to the ground. Papa had nothing on underneath; his entire body was exposed to her in all its glory. She stared, entranced, unable to help but run her hands across his torso and shoulders. She could feel part of his bones and some scars from Lucifer-knows-what, but he was just so perfect as he was.   
  
Something made her pause, though.   
  
“Are you hot?”   
  
“No. Why do you ask?”   
  
“Your skin is nearly burning,” she said with obvious concern. She ran her hand along his chest again, taking in the scorching hot sensations. While it did burn, it was far from unpleasant. It felt so similar to the warmth she felt before; something strong, something uncontrollable. Gabriella could hear her breaths getting more and more shallow.   
  
Papa didn’t remark on what she said.    
  
Once again, words weren’t needed. Papa escorted Gabriella to the bed, but much to her surprise, he took her shoulders and gently sat her down on the familiar sheets. His hands trailed from her shoulders, down her arms, brushing against the inside of her thighs. He paused for just a moment, savoring what was before him. She felt his fingers moving again, closer and closer to her pussy.    
  
“Lovely.”   
  
Gabriella flushed a deep crimson, whimpering as he stoked outside of her underwear. She was soaked. Gabriella could feel it -- he must have been able to feel it, too.    
  
He sounded pleased when asking, “Very eager, hm?” He continued to stroke up and down between her legs, once in a while pressing a bit harder when closer to her clit. The longer he went on, the hotter she felt. This wasn’t enough; she needed more. Her panties were a barrier that needed to be removed. She wanted him to take them off. She wanted him to just --    
  
What was he even planning on doing, anyways? He was hard, she could see that, but surely this wasn’t the most comfortable position for what they did before. So what ...?   
  
Gabriella managed to open her mouth, ready to ask her question, but all that came out was a high-pitched moan. Papa had briefly slipped his fingers under her panties, brushing his finger against her clit in the most teasing manner. As soon as she realized what had happened, he had already pulled away.    
  
“I think you are ready.”   
  
He kneeled before her, parting her legs. Gabriella blinked down at him, mouth parted, her eyes half-shut.    
  
“P-Papa?” Gabriella whimpered. She felt his hot breath against her pussy. She shifted on the bed to try and scoot forward, but found herself held fast by his tight grip on her thighs. His nails dug into her skin, keeping her in her current position. “Oh --”    
  
Rather than go right for her pussy, Papa began to kiss her inner thighs. They were light, feathery -- and they drove her mad. She continued to squirm, desperate for just a bit more, but he didn’t move any faster. Instead, he only chuckled.   
  
“I heard about the numerous new converts you gathered tonight,” he breathed out. Gabriella let out another gasp, squirming beneath his touch. “Consider this your reward.”    
  
Gabriella hadn’t even known this was possible, but she cursed herself for not knowing any sooner. The moment Papa’s tongue brushed against her clit, she was an absolute mess, nearly thrashing and trying to thrust forward. Papa continued to hold her down effortlessly; she found it impossible to move her lower half. She leaned back on the bed, balancing herself on her elbows, whimpering and mewling in delight.    
  
“Very good,” Papa purred. “Just like that.” He went back to licking, taking his time while trailing his tongue up and down her wet slit. The pace was maddening to Gabriella. She wanted him to go faster, and yet, she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to handle it.   
  
“Oh, Lucifer -- this --” She squealed and tilted her head back, hair brushing up against her neck. “This --”    
  
Papa continued to lick her up and down, running his tongue in a circle across her slit one more time right before sucking on her clit. Even as he sucked, he continued to eat her out, moaning softly while he did so. Gabriella’s thighs trembled as her arms did, and she found herself having to bite her tongue to keep her groans quiet.    
  
It didn’t work very well.    
  
Gabriella’s hand fumbled, eventually coming to rest on the top of Papa’s head. She didn’t realize that she was holding him there until she felt how tight her grip was, how tense it made her hand. She tried to apologize, but couldn’t even form a single word anymore. All she could do was mewl in delight and whimper in pleasure as Papa continued to reward her.    
  
The pleasure kept building and building; Gabriella was lost in her own world, relishing in the way Papa’s tongue felt on her clit and the way his breaths felt so staggered, so ragged against her. He sounded on the verge of losing control himself.    
  
The moment he pushed his finger inside of her while sucking on her clit, it was over; Gabriella couldn’t hold back anymore. She nearly screamed out for Papa when she came, but it was nearly incomprehensible. The fact that Papa refused to let up didn’t help, either. Gabriella shook and tried to thrust her hips up, gripping the sheets with one hand and holding Papa’s head down with the other with inhuman strength.    
  
Any sense of glamour had long faded. She could see the wisps around her and some bits of bone beneath her skin. That snapped Gabriella out of it; she quickly refocused on hiding her true self. She still had to catch her breath, though -- and she collapsed onto the bed, panting heavily. 

Papa rose; she could tell by the shadow looming over her. The shadow moved and there was a weight on the edge of the bed next to her. A hand ran through her messed hair, gently untangling the strands.    
  
“Breathe, Gabriella,” Papa murmured. “Breathe.”    
  
And she did.    
  
The world felt much more beautiful riding on the coattails of lust. Gabriella saw stars, even now, and spots danced across her vision. The last time hadn’t felt anything like that -- not even close. Papa looked quite pleased with himself. He had a cheeky little smile on his face as he continued to stroke her hair.    
  
This was the second time in a row he put her pleasure before his. She would have to pay him back. Gabriella grunted as she tried to sit up, but found that she could not. She flopped back onto the bed, still trying to catch her breath.    
  
“Do not rush it. Take your time.” Papa caressed Gabriella’s face and stroked her cheek tenderly. “It is quite satisfying to watch you like this.”    
  
Gabriella didn’t think her heart could pound any faster, but it did. She swallowed dryly, nodded in assent, then resumed her attempts at deep breathing. After a long while, she was able to think rationally again.    
  
“I have to repay you,” were the first words out of her mouth. Gabriella managed to sit up this time, only to falter and lean against Papa instead. Her head rested on the top of his arm. “That was incredible.”    
  
“It is not a matter of repayment,” Papa said. “We are simply here to make each other feel good. I get just as much pleasure out of watching and hearing you.”    
  
“But --”    
  
“Are you questioning me?” Despite the hint of amusement in his voice, Gabriella knew when to take a hint. She clammed up, shook her head, and just let herself relax against her Papa. He steadied her with one arm around her, keeping her upright. She didn’t fight this.    
  
She couldn’t stop her gaze from lingering on his very, very hard cock. It throbbed with need, and she swore she could see some clear liquid at the tip. He looked like he was about to come already.   
  
“Can I ...”    
  
“Of course you may.”   
  
Gabriella wrapped her hand around the base of Papa’s cock, marveling at how he felt in her hand. It was so warm and so hard in her hand; not much different than before, but she hadn’t been able to feel it like this.    
  
“Stroke it, if you could,” Papa rasped. His breaths sounded ragged once again. His grip on Gabriella tightened. “It would feel so good to have your hand on it.”    
  
Gabriella obliged. She began to stroke his cock slowly, focusing on keeping it a nice and even pace. Once in a while, one of her fingers would brush up against the head, and Papa would gasp. He jerked forward when this happened a third time, much to Gabriella’s delight.  _ ‘I am doing this right!’  _ _   
_ _   
_ She felt his cock pulse beneath her touch. Suddenly, Papa’s hand wrapped around her wrist and pulled it back. It shook her out of her fascinated trance and she looked up at him, startled.   
  
“Papa --?”   
  
“I do not want to finish that way. Roll over for me on the bed. On all fours.”    
  
Gabriella, once again, obliged. She rolled onto her stomach and rested on all fours, showing her ass to Papa. It felt downright obscene to be positioned like this; it sent a thrill down her spine. The comforter was nice and soft; perfect for this sort of thing.    
  
She heard Papa move behind her and felt his hands wander her ass, squeezing what little was there and kneading it. Gabriella whimpered in delight as she felt that now-familiar heat building up inside of her.    
  
“I want you like this,” Papa growled. “Like this, laid before me, for me to use.”    
  
Gabriella felt the tip of Papa’s cock at the entrance of her pussy. He teased her again, rubbing the head up against her slit, which was still coated with her juices. Gabriella bit her lip hard enough to draw blood to avoid making a sound. This time, it worked.    
  
Papa’s hands rested on her hips. She could feel him steady himself on the bed, shifting and moving until he was in the perfect position. The idea of even breathing the wrong way seemed like sacrilege now. Everything had to be perfect for him, it had to go smoothly --    
  
He started to push inside of her, growling as he did so. Gabriella noticed how quickly he slipped in this time compared to last time and couldn’t stop a needy little whine. He needed to fill her. He needed to use her, he needed to have his way with her. Anything else wouldn’t do.    
  
Papa slowly thrust in and out of Gabriella, keeping a steady pace so she got comfortable. Gabriella couldn’t keep quiet; she moaned, groaned, and clutched at the sheets as he went deeper and deeper. Once she had adjusted to his size, he began to fuck her in earnest, balls slapping against her ass as he did so. The sound was strange, but hardly a deterrent.    
  
Gabriella squealed in pleasure, but didn’t let herself go. Last time was too close; she needed to make sure that her true form didn’t slip, especially now that he had such a good view of her. Every time she saw a hint of void, she doubled down on her glamour to make sure it wouldn’t show.    
  
Papa must have noticed. “I want to hear you more, Gabriella. Your Papa is fucking you. Show me how much -- you are enjoying it --”    
  
It was like a switch. Gabriella still tried to keep her glamour up, but she couldn’t help making noise now. Every time he thrust fully inside of her, she moaned. Every time he pulled out, she whined desperately for him to put it back in. It almost sounded like a rhythmic song, a song made specifically for him and because of him.    
  
Papa snarled in delight as he pushed in one final time, digging his nails into Gabriella’s hips. His cock pulsed inside of her, and he came as well. Gabriella felt his come run down her thighs, and she shivered.    
  
She wasn’t sure how long she could keep this position, but she wouldn’t move until Papa was ready for her to. For now, he bent over her, panting heavily. It was his turn to catch his breath. Gabriella smiled to herself, secretly elated that what she had done -- what noises she made -- made Papa feel like this. Had anyone else done this to him before?    
  
She immediately chided herself.  _ ‘What a ridiculous question,’ _ she thought.  _ ‘Of course someone has. He is Papa. People throw themselves at his feet all the time, as is correct.’  _   
  
Eventually, Papa pulled out of her. Once again, she felt empty. She wasn’t sure if that was because of him pulling back or the fact that this had to be kept casual. Surely his kindness wouldn’t be given to a toy meant to be used? It couldn’t be.    
  
She scooted off of the bed, wordlessly getting up to go and get some towels. Papa didn’t stop her. 

* * *

“... You are welcome to stay the night, if you wish. I would welcome your company.”   
  
Gabriella had just gotten her nightgown on when Papa said this. She glanced over at him, smiled, and then moved away from her shoes.    
  
“It would be an honor --”    
  
“No, no. No honor here. Just a night between two people, if you please.” Papa’s request was strange, but not impossible to adhere to. Gabriella was secretly grateful.    
  
“Of course.” His title almost slipped out, but something told Gabriella that he didn’t want that tonight. She walked over to his bed, slipping under the covers, and scooted over towards him. Papa didn’t stop this.    
  
“I am rather tired after tonight,” he said. “But that is just what I needed. I am glad you came.”   
  
Gabriella hesitated for just a moment. She had to pick her words carefully. “I am glad that I did, as well. I was nervous, but ...”    
  
“Understandable.” Papa paused before looking over at Gabriella. His gaze showed concern. “You are very brave. I can only hope that your bravery does not get you in trouble.”   
  
“I would not consider myself brave,” Gabriella mumbled. She clung to his arm, nuzzling up close. His pajamas felt so soft and warm, but they were nothing compared to Papa himself. “Just foolish.”    
  
“While they often go hand-in-hand, I do not believe you are one of those people.” Papa resumed stroking her hair, playing with it and letting it fall through his fingers over and over. Gabriella sighed softly in delight. “You talk to many more people than I do. And I, personally, find that to be my least favorite aspect of being Papa.”    
  
“Really?”   
  
“Yes,” he said. “Of course, I delight in serving Lucifer. I delight in helping lost souls find their way to either enlightenment or comfort. But the fact that I have had to talk to so many people on this tour ...” Papa shook his head. “It is the most draining part, even beyond the stage performances.”   
  
“They are very different from your sermons,” Gabriella mentioned. “I thought they would tire you out.”   
  
“Oh, they do. Make no mistake. But interacting with uninitiated people is even more tiresome.”    
  
They both laughed at that.    
  
“My point is, Gabriella, you talk to people every day. You learn people. You learn who is trustworthy, who is not, and who is best suited for this church. That is an admirable skill -- and considering how some humans can be, you are brave for doing it.”    
  
Gabriella wasn’t sure what to say. Her tears were hidden by her glamour, but she still found herself unable to even form words.    
  
“Thank you,” she eventually managed to say. “I just want to do my best work for the ministry.”   
  
“And you do. We appreciate your efforts very much.” Papa smiled softly. “Know that we would not have our Siblings without people like you handling things.”   
  
Gabriella nodded in understanding, mostly to hide the fact that she was struggling to not grin like a loon. She had never been praised for her job -- not before tonight. Sure, Susanna had praised her for her work ethic and actual recruitment, but was it really that important?    
  
He made it sound like the most important thing in the world. How could that be when she was the one doing it?   
  
“Now. Get some rest. Tomorrow will be very exhausting.”    
  
“Just being on a bus all day? Yes, it will be.”   
  
This time, it was Papa who laughed. He leaned over and switched off the lamp, then settled into bed. Gabriella reluctantly moved away from Papa to shut hers off as well.    
  
He helped her settle back in, wrapping his arms around her protectively. Gabriella nuzzled up to him, shut her eyes, and let sleep overtake her. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Gabriella has a quiet morning after, the team is headed home.

When Gabriella woke up, the sun was still rising. It was hard to see with the darker curtain covering the window and the lights still dimmed. Nothing stuck out to her at first. Then, she realized it was warm -- too warm for one person.    
  
Papa’s silhouette stuck out from the rest of the dark shapes in the room. He had one arm still wrapped around Gabriella. The other arm was tucked under his pillow. He snored softly and steadily. Gabriella smiled idly before settling back in.    
  
Right. She had been with Papa last night.   
  
She blinked a couple of times sleepily, then shut her eyes again. Surely it was too early to be up? The alarm hadn’t gone up, and Papa was still holding her. If the lights weren’t on, he wasn’t up, either. And why would she want to leave him so soon?    
  
The thought was a tempting one; to just lay here in his arms, snuggled up close to him, feeling his soft, gentle breathing tickling her hair ... it was very, very hard to say no to. But it would be best if she left before he woke, as much as she didn’t want to admit it.    
  
Gabriella reluctantly slipped out of Papa’s arms, carefully maneuvering off of the bed. She tip-toed over to her flats and slipped them on. The keycard she brought was on the dresser, right next to the partly emptied wine glasses.    


_ ‘When did that get there?’ _ she thought. While perplexed, she wasn’t going to complain. The keys were so small and easy to lose. Why question a gift? Gabriella took the keycard and held onto it tightly.    
  
She took another glance at Papa. He still slept soundly, but looked so much lonelier now with only him on there. Did he have this big of a bed to himself, usually? The mere idea of it seemed absolutely ridiculous. Surely someone usually shared it with him.    
  
Gabriella pursed her lips at the thought. Instead, she focused on Papa himself. He looked so peaceful when asleep; she couldn’t recall a time he didn’t look incredibly stressed. The lines on his face were always so strong, so serious ... but they seemed more relaxed here. She crept closer, despite every instinct screaming not to.    
  
Once she was close enough, she reached out one hand -- then promptly yanked it back. No, she shouldn’t touch him. Should she? Would he mind? Surely he wouldn’t. Gabriella wrestled with herself, still staring at Papa’s sleeping form. His breaths were soft and even, not usual for him.    
  
The temptation was far too much. Gabriella reached out tentatively and caressed his cheek. She ran her thumb across it, taking in the feeling of him and his too-warm skin. There was a small smudge of white makeup alongside his brow, which she wiped away.   
  
_ ‘He looks so wonderful.’ _   
  
Gabriella risked stroking his cheek a few more times before pulling back. As much as she didn’t want to leave, it was time to go. Maybe she could leave a letter ...? No, too risky. If someone found it, then they would both be in trouble. It was best to say nothing.    
  
“Take care, Papa,” she whispered. Then, she was gone. 

* * *

Susanna was already awake by the time Gabriella got back to their room. She could hear Susanna shuffling about, muttering to herself, and something falling. Gabriella hurriedly opened the door.   
  
“Susanna! Are you all right?”   
  
“Fine! Just fine!” Susanna struggled to put the ironing board back in its upright position. “Stupid thing fell out while I was getting our stuff out of the closet.” Fed up, Susanna simply shoved the ironing board back into the closet and promptly shut the door as fast as possible. There was another clatter, then silence. The door didn’t open.    
  
Susanna sighed in relief and dusted off her hands. “Anyway. Morning. You gonna keep running off on me, or can I trust you to be my early breakfast buddy before we get back home? I’m starving.”    
  
“Let me get dressed.”    
  
“I was about to ask why you were still in a nightgown.” Susanna nudged Gabriella good-naturedly, then made a grab for her suitcase. “I’ll meet you down there, all right? See you soon!”    
  
Susanna left the room before Gabriella could even say anything. Gabriella stared after her, perplexed, then shrugged it off and decided that Susanna would probably explain later. She should just get dressed and get down there. Now that Susanna mentioned it, she was rather hungry, too.    
  
She picked up a couple of the snack wrappers laying about the room first. Paid or not, it just felt wrong to leave the room dirty. Gabriella peered in the little trash can under the desk, ready to toss in the trash.    
  
Torn up letter fragments littered the bottom of the can.   
  
Gabriella’s knee-jerk reaction was to be angry; that instinct was quickly overwritten by logic. As much as she wanted to save that letter, keeping it would be stupid. Writing a letter last night was especially stupid. It being ripped up like that ensured that it wouldn’t be discovered. She would have to thank Susanna later.    
  
She placed the snack wrappers over the ripped bits of paper, just to be safe. A few minutes later, she was dressed in her most comfortable outfit, glamoured properly, and out of the door with her duffel bag over her shoulder.    
  
The elevator ride was an uneventful one, much to Gabriella’s relief. She rushed to the much smaller breakfast area, which was right in the lobby. Susanna already sat at a table with some ham, salami, and eggs. She had grabbed the same for Gabriella.    
  
“There you are. All packed and ready to go!” Susanna said with fake chipperness. _ ‘Must still be half asleep,’ _ Gabriella thought.    
  
“Yes, I am.” Gabriella set her bag down next to the chair and sat down across from Susanna. “Thank you. For everything,” she added pointedly.    
  
Susanna nodded in silence before taking a bite of her ham.    
  
The two ate quietly, once in a while glancing at each other. Gabriella wanted to talk more about what had happened last night, but knew it was a horrible idea. Susanna clearly wanted to ask about it, but also knew it was a bad idea. So, they said nothing at all.    
  
It felt like forever before something happened. One moment, all was peaceful. The next, it sounded like a herd of elephants were dashing through the hallway, accompanied by a group of dinosaurs behind them. Gabriella jolted up and swiveled her head towards the loud sounds and wasn’t surprised when Matthew, Greg, and other members of the set building crew barreled into the lobby.    
  
“Food time!”   
  
“Fuck yeah!”    
  
“Guys, people are still sleeping --”    
  
The receptionist peered over the desk with a raised eyebrow, clearly thinking the same thing, but only sighed in resignation as Greg and Matthew barreled towards the breakfast set-up. Jenny trailed behind them, shaking her head.    
  
“Gentlemen, please keep it down --”   
  
“We will, sorry. We’re just starving.”   
  
Gabriella had no reason to doubt them as it was, but the way they just shoveled a ridiculous amount of food on their plates made her doubt them even less. She giggled quietly and hid it with her last bite of salami.    
  
“Man, you two got here while the food was hot, huh?” Matthew asked. He rolled up his suitcase on the other side of the table and took a seat at one of the two open chairs. “How was it?”   
  
“Wasn’t bad at all. I think you’ll like the food here, especially since you have a plateful of it.” Susanna laughed. “Don’t eat too fast.”    
  
“No promises.” Matthew looked over at Gabriella with a smile on his face. “And how’re you holding up?”    
  
“Oh, uh ... very well. I am rather tired.”    
  
“Great news, Gabby! You can sleep on the bus! We’re doing fuck all today except going home!”    
  
“Trip’ll take two days,” Susanna chimed in.    
  
“... Okay, so we’re doing fuck all today except for getting close to home, staying at another hotel, and  _ then _ going home!”   
  
Greg snickered, but said nothing. He was far too busy eating his sausages. Matthew followed suit, and the table grew quiet once again.    
  
“I feel awful for saying this.” Gabriella hesitated, suddenly feeling a lump in her throat. She wrung her hands together. “You all have been wonderful. But I cannot wait to get home.”    
  
“You and me both, honey,” Susanna replied with a tired laugh. “I haven’t been out of the abbey for this long in a couple of decades. I need gradual exposure, damn it. I hit my limit two days ago.”    
  
“Yes, I am very much in agreement.” Gabriella sighed softly. “This has been all too much.”   
  
Gabriella knew it was a long way until home, but at least they were on the way back. As comfortable as the hotel beds were, they weren’t her bed. She missed her mom. She missed knowing exactly what she was doing. More than anything, she missed her routine.    
  
It was going to be so good to be back. 

* * *

“Abbey’s in sight!”   
  
“Fuck yeah!”    
  
The set crew clamoured to see their home, some pressing their faces up against the windows as the bus turned onto the familiar path. The road was bumpier than Gabriella remembered on the way out, and she yelped as they went over the initial hump.    
  
“You all right there, Gabriella?” Susanna asked.    
  
“Fine!” Gabriella responded, perhaps a bit too quickly. She clutched at the seat tightly and bit back another yelp as the bus swung a bit too much for her liking. Was it this rough of an exit? Maybe she was too panicked to notice? Either way ...    
  
“Wait, who’s out at the front there?” Matthew asked. “She’s waving at the bus ... is that a ghoul?”    
  
“Why’s a ...” Greg trailed off. Matthew, Greg, and Jenny turned their heads at the same time to stare over at Gabriella. The comprehension seemed to dawn at the exact same time for all three of them, and the effect unsettled Gabriella. She shifted in her seat nervously, jaw tense.    
  
“Hey, Gabby, that your mom?”    
  
“I never thought seeing a literal demon would look so welcoming,” Jenny mumbled. “She looks so nice.”    
  
“I’ve talked to her before. She absolutely is nice,” Susanna said. She rose from her seat and strode to the front, close to the front door. The bus lurched one more time as it slowed down; the stones beneath them causing a rattling sound. Gabriella clutched at her knees, willing herself to stay calm.    
  
_ ‘It is normal,’ _ she told herself as the bus slowed down.  _ ‘It is normal and I am safe.’  _   
  
Even with telling herself that, she only felt completely safe when the bus stopped completely. She let out a heavy sigh and sagged in her seat.  _ ‘Home. I am home.’ _ She couldn’t remember the last time her body felt this relaxed. Gabriella rubbed at her eyes and tried to force herself to stay awake.    
  
She couldn’t sleep properly until she got to her bed. The bus and hotel beds didn’t cut it anymore. Nothing but her uncomfortable bed would do at this point. It was so close that she could nearly taste it.   
  
Everyone rushed towards the door as soon as it opened, excluding Gabriella and Susanna. They sat, exhausted, and watched the more energetic humans bound off of the bus and dash towards the welcoming doors of the abbey. The bell sounded so sweet; she had almost forgotten how far it resonated ... how beautiful it sounded. It was all-encompassing. It was a true sign of home.   
  
“Ready?”    
  
“I am, yes.”    
  
Susanna patted Gabriella’s shoulder, then made her way off of the bus. Gabriella hesitated for a few moments, mildly terrified of the crowd that would be around the storage area, but managed to force herself to stand. She stepped off of the bus --    
  
And was nearly tackled by her mother.    
  
“Gabriella, dear, I missed you!” Gabriella squeaked as her mother squeezed her so tight that she nearly burst. If she had used her full strength, her ribs would have cracked. “How are you! Did you have a good time?”    
  
“Yes, mother,” Gabriella gasped. “Y-You are crushing me again --”   
  
“Oh my, sorry!” Her mother promptly let go and smoothed down Gabriella’s hair. “Do you need help getting your bag in?”    
  
“No, I can handle it, thank you. May I grab it, actually?”    
  
“Sure! Do what you need to do, dear.” Gabriella’s mother patted her cheek. Gabriella forced a smile on her face before going towards the crowd of people eagerly grabbing their luggage. All of them had missed home just as much as she had, apparently.    
  
“Do you need help getting anything, Matthew?” Gabriella asked as she walked up.    
  
“Nah, unicorn’s safe and sound and so’s everything else. Thanks, though, Gabby.” Matthew hauled his suitcase out of the nearly-empty storage unit and huffed as he slammed it down on the ground. “Shit, this thing got heavy.”   
  
“How come?”   
  
“May have gotten some souvenirs. May not have.” Matthew laughed. “Can’t help it, I haven’t been to fuckin’ Germany in what feels like forever. I wanted some stuff for my room!”    
  
“That makes sense. Do you need help getting it to your room?”    
  
“Nope, got it covered. I got your bag out already, it’s on the ground over there -- it’s light as a feather, Gabby! What did you have in there, actual feathers?”   
  
“No, just my clothing. I did not need much else.”    
  
“Damn, light packer.” Matthew pulled up the handle on his suitcase and adjusted it. “All right, I’m gonna go ahead and go on in with Greg. Want to have dinner in the dining hall with all of us?”   
  
“That would be lovely.”    
  
Someone actually wanted to eat with her? Gabriella was stunned. They actually wanted her company outside of being told where to go and being helped. She grabbed her duffel bag and flung it over her shoulder, rushing excitedly back to her mother.    
  
It was so, so good to be home -- and it was even better when she actually had friends to be with.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriella's back into the swing of things at her usual job. What happened on tour, however, has repercussions for her.

The chapel was almost full.    
  
Gabriella almost cried when she saw how many people filled the pews. She had arrived earlier than anticipated, and even then, she didn’t have much to do. So many were already there, sitting, eager to hear her Papa’s words. They were chatting amongst each other, laughing, swapping stories of how they heard of the church.    
  
She strode down the aisle, glancing between each and every person. Some she recognized -- some she didn’t. The blonde woman with massive earrings was near the front, talking to someone Susanna had recruited. They were so excited to be here, so excited to hear what they were about. It warmed Gabriella’s heart.    
  
Not everyone was this excited, though. Gabriella recognized a woman with multi-colored hair that was at the second show; she didn’t seem nearly as chatty. Instead, she sat alone, wringing her hands together out of nervousness. She sat at the front pew, close to the altar. Her gaze was fixed onto the floor.   
  
This woman had been one of the shyer ones, she recalled. Gabriella frowned, then made a beeline towards the front pew.    
  
“Good morning,” Gabriella said to the woman. “Welcome to our church. We are happy to have you here.”    
  
The woman jerked up, swiveling her head in shock. Her eyes were as wide as saucers, and she looked as pale as a ghost.    
  
“I -- oh -- h-hi --” she stammered. “I’m so sorry, I mean -- of course! Yeah. Just, uh ...”    
  
“There is no reason to be nervous,” Gabriella soothed. “You are in no danger here, and we are welcoming. You may breathe.” She hesitated before placing a gentle hand on the woman’s shoulder, and mimicking Susanna, squeezed gently. “What makes you so nervous?”   
  
“Just haven’t ... I mean, uh ...” The woman swallowed. “You know, Catholic guilt and all. Haven’t seen my family in years, but, you know ...”   
  
“Ah, I see.” Gabriella’s blood boiled, but she remained calm. The guilting tactics were always something that made her seethe. How could a faith built on equal love for all use fear to rule them? She never understood. “They cannot get to you here. You are safe.”    
  
Gabriella’s words didn’t do much to reassure the woman by themselves -- she could tell -- but she still smiled regardless. “Thank you,” the woman said politely.   
  
“My name is Gabriella. What is yours?”    
  
“Jackie,” she choked out.    
  
“Well, Jackie, if you would like, I can sit with you so you feel less scared. If anything happens, I am here with you.”    
  
“Please.” Jackie scooted to the side, nearly hitting the arm of the pew. Gabriella took a seat next to her, heart hammering in her chest.    
  
She was sitting at the front of the chapel. It was for her job, yes, but even so -- she was sitting at the front. She hadn’t even dreamed that this would be all right to do. If anyone said anything, she could cite that Jackie had asked her to. That was something, right?    
  
“What is this Papa guy like, anyway?” Jackie asked. “I heard a lot about him from that one woman -- Susanna, I think? But I dunno ... he was pretty scary onstage.”    
  
“Oh, he is wonderful. Do not worry.” Gabriella smiled brightly. “He is scary on the stage, but I have seen him work off of it for quite some time. What he is onstage is not who he is here. He is a very kind man. Extremely wise.”   
  
“What’s he going to be talking about?”   
  
“It is funny you mentioned Catholic guilt, actually.” Gabriella shifted in her seat to face Jackie a little better. “Today, he will be going over fear.”    
  
“Fear?” Jackie echoed, her voice cracking.    
  
“Oh!” Gabriella cringed at her faux pas. “No, no. Nothing like that. More akin to ... how it should not be used to rule people, as some religions tend to do.”    
  
This explanation seemed to relax Jackie and she settled back into her seat. Gabriella, satisfied, looked back to the altar.    
  
The bells chimed.    
  
The chatter died down almost instantly. A sea of faces looked towards the altar and the burning candles. Gabriella followed suit, hands tightly clenched together in her lap. Footsteps echoed through the massive hall, and Papa walked in.    
  
He looked as regal as ever in his vestments. It was strange to be so used to seeing him now; normally, it was just once a week. It would be that way again, she knew, but right now, she was over-familiar with his presence. Gabriella’s smile widened at the thought.    
  
“Good morning, my children,” Papa began in a soft, tender voice. “I see many new faces -- and I thank you for joining us on this lovely day.”    
  
There were quiet murmurings, none of which Gabriella could understand. She glanced at Jackie, who seemed to be fixated on Papa.  _ ‘So she is attentive. That is a good sign.’  _   
  
“I would like to speak to you about fear today,” Papa said. “How it can be used to control, and how people such as yourselves can break free from that control. Some leaders will use it as a tool. And if you wish to attain enlightenment, you cannot let the chains of others bind you ...”    
  
Papa’s eyes scanned the room as he spoke. It was just as intense as Gabriella remembered it being onstage, but the fact that she was seeing it so well in the chapel ... her heart was going to burst. Gabriella forced herself to remain perfectly calm.    
  
She remained calm even when he glanced at her and even when he smiled.   
  
“... all major religions use fear as a tool to control,” Papa continued. “... they say you will be punished for eternity if you do not do exactly what they say. They promise misfortune, saying it is your fault if bad things happen to you, that you just have to follow this God’s word and all will be right ...”   
  
He paused.    
  
“... but that is a horrible thing to do to anyone, never mind those who God claims to love. That is not love. That is possession. And we strive to be better, to not control you, but to  _ guide _ you, to aid you on your own journey ...”   
  
Gabriella heard a sniffle from nearby -- Jackie. The woman looked to be crying, but was clearly trying to hold it in so she didn’t distract from the service. She rubbed at her face, smearing her makeup, but said nothing. She didn’t even look in Gabriella’s direction.    
  
Gabriella placed a hand on Jackie’s shoulder, squeezing it gently to reassure her.    
  
“This is very different compared to what I saw,” Jackie confessed quietly. “I like this way better.”   
  
Gabriella smiled in response, then looked back up at Papa, reverence in her eyes and in her heart. She couldn’t bear to look away.  _ ‘He truly is wonderful,’ _ she thought to herself.  _ ‘So intimidating, yet kind when needed. I hope that he knows how much he does for everyone here.’  _

Before she knew it, the bell had chimed once again, indicating the end of service. 

* * *

Cleaning the chapel was the worst part of the job. Normally it didn’t require much, but it did today -- and Gabriella was asked to help. She did so with fake enthusiasm, sweeping between the pews and making sure all the banners and draperies were hung straight. Normally, it took about ten to fifteen minutes.    
  
Today, it took forty-five.    
  
Gabriella breathed out as she pushed the last bits of debris into the aisle for someone else to sweep up. She offered a grateful nod to the custodian ghoul that did so, then set the broom down. She nearly collapsed onto the pew. It hurt, but it didn’t hurt as much as her legs and arms did right now.    
  
“You helped a lot. Thank you so much,” the ghoul said. He lifted his hood to reveal a face that wasn’t there. All was black. “Go on and get out of here. We can take it from here.”   
  
“Are you certain?”   
  
“As certain as I can be.”    
  
Gabriella waved to the ghoul and all but rushed out of the massive chapel doors. Papa hadn’t lied about it being a beautiful day; she wanted to experience it to the fullest. The chapel itself was on the top of a hill next to the abbey -- gorgeous green rolling hills could be seen from this peak. One could almost look down to the abbey on the side in all of its glory, with all of its twists and turns. The building looked incredible from a distance, especially with the sun rays shining down upon it.    
  
Nothing would ever be as glorious as home. Never.   
  
Gabriella turned away from the lovely view and shut the doors carefully, slowly, ensuring that they wouldn’t slam loudly and deafen nearly everyone nearby in the process.    
  
That turned out to be a brilliant idea.    
  
“Gabriella,” came a familiar voice. Gabriella’s body went rigid at the sound of it. She turned to her left to see Sister Imperator just outside of the door. She waited near the stairs, her arms folded and gaze as steely as ever.   
  
“G-Good afternoon, Sister,” she said in return. “I trust you are well?”   
  
“I am. And so, it seems, are you.” Sister narrowed her eyes and scrutinized Gabriella carefully. Gabriella stood silently, waiting for Sister to speak again. One never spoke to their superiors without being addressed first. Ever. Sister seemed to be testing this now -- checking to see if she didn’t get too rambunctious due to being in the outside world.    
  
Was this whole conversation a test? Gabriella stood firm and silent, mouth shut as tightly as she could manage. Her hands trembled behind her back.    
  
Eventually, Sister acquiesced. “You’ve done well and exceeded my expectations. There were plenty of new people here today. So many wanted to stay that Gamma got overwhelmed.”    
  
“That is wonderful to hear. I am glad that Susanna and I could --”    
  
“You would not have been able to do it without Susanna’s guidance. Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Sister said pointedly. Gabriella visibly deflated. “ But you did do well enough with her that next time we go on tour, you’ll have the same job.”    
  
“Thank you, Sister. I am greatly honored.”    
  
“I saw you comforting that girl in the front row.” A pause. “Normally, I would have your head for talking while Papa was, but it got her in the doors. She’s one of us now.”    
  
Wait. Did that mean Sister saw Papa looking at her, too? A chill ran down Gabriella’s spine.  _ ‘Lucifer, please, don’t have her notice that.’ _   
  
“Now! You have plenty to do now that you’re back. You’ll have to tidy the hallway in your sector, of course, and make sure that everything is up to standards. Understood?”    
  
“Yes, Sister.”    
  
“Good. Now get to it.”   
  
Gabriella grit her teeth and hurried off as fast as her legs could carry her. Fear gnawed at her stomach; if Sister had seen her in the front row, what had she seen aside from comforting Jackie? Had she been so stupid enough to be obvious about staring at Papa? Did Sister notice that too, or did she truly only mean what she said? Was it a warning?    
  
She didn’t know. And she was terrified to find out.

* * *

The hallway was lit brightly this wonderful day. It wasn’t due to the sun, but to the multiple lamps that had been installed while Gabriella was gone. They flooded the hallway, illuminating each and every wooden door that made up this section of rooms. Every imperfection was visible to the naked eye.    
  
Every little dust speck on the long red carpet had to be cleaned. Every smudge on the stone wall and floor would have to be wiped down. Why it had to be her, she didn’t know, but she knew better than to question Sister.    
  
And, at the very least, Gabriella had company.   
  
“I don’t think she meant anything by it, dear,” Gabriella’s mother said. “Sister is known to keep an eye and ear on everyone in the abbey. I’m not surprised, since you were in the front row. You were in plain sight!”   
  
“It is just nerve wracking to think about, is all,” Gabriella said with a sigh. She stood on the tip of her toes to get the area behind the lamp on the wall. “It feels like I have done something wrong, even though I have ... I have ...”    
  
She swallowed. Her arm began to tremble. She hadn’t done anything wrong, right? So why did it feel like she did?    
  
Her mother tilted her head quizzically, though her void betrayed nothing amiss. She simply continued to watch as Gabriella cleaned the hallway.    
  
“Is something troubling you, dear?”    
  
Gabriella froze.    
  
“N-No, I -- no, nothing troubles me. I mean, yes, I was nervous about Sister, but surely you are right. She does keep an eye on everyone --”    
  
“I know you, Gabriella.” She was right. Her mother did know her very well. They were each other’s only company for so long; Gabriella couldn’t lie to her even if she wanted to. And yet ... “You’re nervous about something. I just wish you could tell me what.”    
  
“Ghoul oath, mother,” Gabriella said quickly. “I have been given information that I cannot reveal.”    
  
“Ah, see, that makes sense.” Her mother nodded. “I know you hate following that. I just wish I could resist it like you do sometimes ... that human side  _ does _ come in handy, after all!”    
  
“Sister considers it a liability.”    
  
“She would, yes. Not a surprise there, either, really.” Her mother shrugged casually, as if they were simply talking about the weather. “But you’re my daughter, and who you are is not a liability. I’ll do what I can to protect you.”    
  
“Thank you, mother.” Gabriella fought tears and continued to work, mindlessly scrubbing at the bit of grime that no one had bothered to look at for what seemed like months. “I appreciate it, truly.”    
  
“Of course. I’ll always be here for you.”    
  
Gabriella spritzed the rag with some spray cleaner and went down to the next lamp. Her mother followed her, humming a cheerful tune from Nihil’s days.  _ ‘Mary on a Cross?’ _ She couldn’t quite remember the title of it. But it was lovely background noise as she worked.    
  
Her mind, however, was going a mile a minute. Of course her mother would want to help -- and she was able to dodge the question this time. But how long until she wouldn’t be able to do that anymore? When would her mother phrase a question in such a way that it couldn’t be avoided? If she kept things up with Papa, that time would come eventually.    
  
The mere idea of it ... Lucifer, no, she couldn’t bear to lie to her own mother. But her mother would have to report it happening, right? The oath they took gave them no choice but to do so. Even hiding things from Sister felt like a death sentence. Gabriella sped up her cleaning as her thoughts continued to whirl around in circles, slowly getting worse and worse --    
  
“So how was he on stage? I can’t believe you saw him so often and so close! Isn’t his music so wonderful?”    
  
“He was amazing,” Gabriella said. It felt so good to be truthful. “It was nothing like I had ever seen before. He is a man that can be matched by no other.”    
  
“He’s so talented, that Papa! I’m telling you, I had a good feeling when he took the reins from Nihil. He always took his studies seriously -- did I ever tell you the time when I saw him in the library?”   
  
“No. Tell me, please?”   
  
“Oh, it was when you were just a baby. I was going to get some books for you -- your father had recommended some, I was no good at rearing a human back then -- and I saw a little Papa in training, bent over his books ...”   
  
On and on her mother went. But Gabriella didn’t mind, really. Anything to distract her from her possible fate was good enough for her. So she listened eagerly, once in a while pausing to ask a relevant question. This would keep her mother going for even longer.    
  
_ ‘I’ll have to keep this lie up forever,’ _ she thought.  _ ‘A horrifying thought.’  _


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriella is called upon to handle a PR problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I missed an update. Sorry about that! Here's the chapter, I'll make up for it by uploading the next one a day early. 
> 
> Enjoy!

She hadn’t missed cleaning one bit. Especially when she was told to clean the windows. It didn’t help that it was raining today, either.   
  
Gabriella kept all of her grumbling internal as she scrubbed at one of the many stained glass windows in the abbey. They were tall -- so tall -- but she only had to deal with the lower half. Why Sister kept doing this to her, she had no idea. Maybe it was a form of punishment? She couldn’t imagine what she had done to deserve it, though. It had been two weeks since she had been back at the abbey, and nothing was out of place.   
  
She did her absolute best to keep things just as they should be -- for Papa’s sake, and her own.   
  
Gabriella grunted as she reached a little higher up, taking another step up the ladder to reach the pane of glass. It was hard to see what she washed and what she hadn’t based on the rain outside, but at least outside work wouldn’t be necessary today.   
  
A part of her was confused; things were back to normal. She was back home, back doing her regular tasks and talking to her mother on a near-daily basis. Yet, everything felt so different. The abbey didn’t seem as vast as it used to, and her days were filled with much more laughter than before. The friends she made on tour had made sure of that.   
  
Gabriella smiled, radiating joy as she cleaned. She had friends now: humans she could trust, humans that could speak freely, humans that included her as she was. She couldn’t remember the last time that she had friends. What a wonderful thing to have.   
  
Maybe it was different because it was far less lonely. It was less lonely and imposing. And that perspective ...   
  
“Hey, Gabriella!” Gamma called.   
  
_‘When did he show up ...?’_ Gabriella looked down at Gamma, who seemed much shorter from this height. The wooden ladder creaked as she descended carefully, clutching the sides as tightly as she could manage.   
  
“Yes, Gamma? What is it?”   
  
“Papa wants you in his chambers immediately.” Gamma dipped his head. “He said it was urgent. I would hurry if I were you.”   
  
Gabriella almost made a remark about how Gamma made her nervous every time he had a message for her, but there was no time for that. All she could do was nod, set her cleaning rag aside, and then dash down the halls. If it was urgent, she could come back to cleaning later.   
  
The halls were a blur as she rushed past each and every one. Despite never needing to go up the stairs at the corner of the west wing, she found herself instinctively knowing right where they were. She rounded up the spiral staircase, holding onto the walls of the abbey as she did so.   
  
This area was completely new to her. In her long lifespan, she had never been entrusted to go to the second floor. This is where Papa’s office was -- and their living quarters, as well. The higher-ranked ghouls retired here for the evening; it was always an eerie sight to see them descending down the stairs in the morning.   
  
Gabriella winded down each pathway, ignoring every possible distraction that presented itself to her. Newer-looking stone? It meant nothing. Beautiful lighting fixtures hanging from the ceiling? Not important. All that mattered was the massive rounded oak door that came into view now.   
  
Papa’s office. Her hands trembled at the sight of it. Finally, she would get to see what it looked like ...   
  
Wait. What was that?   
  
Gabriella paused, hesitant, when she heard some incoherent shouting coming from behind the door. As much as she tried to, she couldn’t quite make it out. She crept closer to the door, pressing her ear up against it. The voice shouting was a new one to her. Perhaps it was a stranger? Papa’s voice was barely discernible in the chaos.   
  
A timid knock resulted in no response. Gabriella took a deep breath and knocked again, this time with much more force.   
  
“Enter,” came Papa’s voice.   
  
Gabriella did so.   
  
The office was much smaller than Gabriella had anticipated -- she could see wall-to-wall easily, and the walls were mostly lined with books. A massive oak desk was in the back of the room. Three red plush chairs were close by: one behind the desk, currently occupied by Papa, and one of the empty chairs occupied by the stranger, who was still shouting. Massive piles of paperwork were neatly stacked next to the desk, on top of the black rug that she stood on now.   
  
A fireplace crackled in the corner. This made Gabriella bristle, but she calmed once she saw the fire wisp away harmlessly.   
  
_‘Magic fire,’_ she thought to herself. _‘Perfectly safe. The books will not be harmed.’_   
  
“Gabriella. I am glad you joined us.”   
  
“Who is she?” the stranger spat. Gabriella glanced at him worriedly.   
  
He looked completely ordinary. He was a heavier set man, clearly older, and wore a simple button-down t-shirt with jeans. This man wasn’t part of the ministry, so ... who was he?   
  
“Gabriella, this is Lorenzo Ricci, the esteemed owner of _Estasi,_ who we are attempting to broker an agreement with. We wish to perform in their venue, but ...”   
  
“I heard about you all recruiting!” he said. “I know what’s going on. You stand in the venue and try to get people to join you. We don’t allow solicitation on our grounds, and you better not try that there!”   
  
Papa ignored the man. “I have already given him a tour of the grounds, as well as show him the chapel. I wished for him to see that we are just another faith. I am certain that they allowed Christian recruiting --”   
  
“That’s none of your business --”   
  
“And I just wanted him to see that while we are not like them, we can be even less obstructive, if he allows us to perform at _Estasi._ Susanna is currently occupied, so I called upon you. You were with her, yes?”   
  
“Yes, Papa.” Gabriella bowed, hands trembling still. She was sure that her skin would be cold and clammy to the touch; her glamour was taking extra effort to maintain. “I worked with Susanna to hand out pamphlets about our faith.”   
  
“See, that’s what I’m talking about. We don’t allow that sort of thing at metal concerts. You’re there to perform, not to try and get more numbers for whatever cult this is. Cults are dangerous and I won’t have it.”   
  
“Sir, with all the respect in the world, I promise we are not a cult,” Gabriella said gently. She walked over towards the desk, glancing at Papa to see if she was allowed to sit. A subtle nod of his head told her that she was.   
  
Gabriella sat in the chair next Lorenzo, being sure to face him. “What can I do to reassure you and assuage your fears?”   
  
“For one thing, you can tell me what, exactly, happens here. I don’t want any bullshit. You tell me what people do here, now.”   
  
“Of course, sir.” Gabriella nodded. “For one thing, we provide shelter to humans who have nowhere else to go. They have their own living quarters, and I would be happy to show these to you if required. There are times that we provide food drives, as well, for those in need and are turned away from Christians.”   
  
“Not answering my question. What do you do _here_?”   
  
“Humans who come here have work to do, as we all do. Sometimes they will clean, sometimes they will help us bake things for sermons, and some specifically devout Siblings will be entrusted with higher-ranked work, such as assisting Papa or Sister Imperator. While rituals are performed, they are hardly dangerous, and everyone is kept safe.” Gabriella paused to take a breath.   
  
“We are here to praise Lucifer. While he has been given a bad reputation, Lucifer is a sign of light, of knowledge, and is another aspect to the Christian faith that is largely trodden upon and disrespected. We are merely here to show Him the respect He deserves, and help people gain enlightenment by lighting the path that they themselves walk. We are only a guide. In the end, the humans are the ones who come out with the knowledge they seek.”   
  
Papa stared at Gabriella mutely. The hint of a smile on his face made Gabriella smile herself.   
  
“So there’s no shit that could get them in trouble.”   
  
Gabriella hesitated.   
  
“We aim to keep humans safe,” Papa said. “While demons walk among us, they bring no harm to anyone. It is as Gabriella said. In the end, we are only guides. While we are meant to be respected, we do not want to be worshiped. We do not demand extravagant tithings, nor do we demand that others cut out their social circles. We are only one aspect of their lives, even if they stay here.”   
  
Lorenzo frowned deeply, the lines on his face darkening. He rubbed his chin, deep in thought, and eventually huffed in frustration.   
  
“If you wish,” Gabriella said quickly, “We can arrange for you to see one of our sermons. Papa is very wise, and most of his sermons focus on bettering yourself, aligned with your own goals.”   
  
Papa nodded slowly. “We can arrange that, yes. And I will be certain that you sit in the front row.”   
  
“I don’t know ...”   
  
“I assure you that you will be safe. I will be right next to you.”   
  
Lorenzo looked down at Gabriella. His blue eyes scanned her up and down, and he eventually sighed in resignation.   
  
“Fine. But that’s not a guarantee. And even if this gets a go-ahead, I don’t want anything aside from pamphlets. Understood? Not a single word outside of them. You have them on a shelf or something and only let people take them.” It was then that Gabriella noticed that he was holding up a crumpled pamphlet from the earlier tour. Had Papa given him one?   
  
“You have our word.” Papa extended a hand, which Lorenzo shook reluctantly. “I cannot tell you how much this opportunity means to us. We are eternally grateful for your consideration, Mr. Ricci.”   
  
“It’s not a guarantee,” Lorenzo said pointedly. “So don’t treat it like it is.”   
  
“I will not. We look forward to seeing you at our next sermon this Sunday, at 11:30 in the morning.” Papa looked up towards the door and snapped his fingers. Two ghouls who had been standing nearby flanked and walked towards the desk in perfect unison, arms behind their backs and hoods covering their faces. “Please escort Mr. Ricci off of the premises. He is an esteemed guest -- treat him with the care he deserves.”   
  
Lorenzo didn’t look too happy at the prospect, but found himself with no choice. He rose from his seat, grunted in Papa’s general direction, and then let himself be led out by the ghouls.   
  
The ghouls shut the door behind them.   
  
The moment they were alone, Papa sagged in his seat. He rubbed his temples, grumbling in Italian.   
  
“ _Lui è un pazzo_ ... I never thought he would be so temperamental and disrespectful ...” Papa took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. He repeated this process a few times before looking at Gabriella with a much wider smile. “I cannot thank you enough.”   
  
“He was ... quite loud, Papa,” Gabriella mumbled. “A very strong presence.”   
  
“Yes, but you held your own. And on top of that, you may have secured us a spot at that venue. It has quite the capacity, and has a much larger stage than what we were performing on before. With that, we could spread our message far and wide.”   
  
Gabriella’s heart leapt. She had helped with something that massive just now? Papa had entrusted her with that? Sure, it was because Susanna was busy, but ... she still found herself blushing and staring at the floor, nearly overwhelmed with relief, exhaustion, and fear.   
  
“So you have my gratitude.” Papa extended his hand towards Gabriella. She looked up and blinked, slowly rising from her seat to take the offered hand. He gently kissed the back of her knuckles, breathing lightly on them. A shiver raced down her spine.   
  
_‘We cannot be spied on here.’_ Upon remembering that, Gabriella relaxed and let herself enjoy the warmth of Papa’s touch. _‘We are safe here.’_   
  
Eventually, though, he had to let go. Gabriella hid her arms behind her back, as was expected.   
  
“I will give you some of my fresh jasmine tea from my garden,” he said. “A token of gratitude.”   
  
“Your garden?” It took a moment for Gabriella to remember. “Oh, yes! Your garden. It has grown quite a bit over the years, has it not?”   
  
“Indeed it has,” Papa said with pride. “I will be asking some ghouls to assist me with building a greenhouse, specifically Earth. I feel like he will enjoy that kind of work and being close to his element.”   
  
_‘I wonder what my element is ...’_ No, that kind of thinking wasn’t allowed. Gabriella shook off the flight of fancy.   
  
“I believe you are right, yes.”   
  
“I do like being in my garden in the afternoons,” he said carefully. “Sometimes working, sometimes with a cup of tea. It is much better with someone else with me, however.”   
  
If Gabriella’s heart was pounding before, it was racing now. Her cheeks flushed, and her mouth worked as she desperately tried to find the proper words to say. Was Papa inviting her to his garden? Hardly any ghouls were allowed in there, never mind humans! He had been so careful with his flowers after they got trampled by a wayward water ghoul ...   
  
“I ... ah ... I am ...”   
  
“You need not answer now,” Papa said. “I will be there anyways, whether you are or not. But expect the tea delivery this evening, yes? It will be as fresh as can be. Please enjoy it.”   
  
Papa leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers together. Gabriella’s eyes flickered to his hands, longing to have them close to her again. She could only remember the times those hands had been on her thighs, how ... how ...   
  
Gabriella swallowed nervously. “I should go, Papa. I have cleaning to finish.”   
  
“Of course,” he said. “Thank you again.”   
  
“It was my privilege, Papa.” Gabriella bowed once again, turned, and walked as calmly as she could manage out of Papa’s office. She paused once she reached the doors. “Actually, may I ask one question?”   
  
“You may.”   
  
“When will we be touring again?”   
  
“In approximately three months. We are merely getting everything set up now. There are other talks for later, but these are the more immediate bookings we could get.”   
  
“I see. Thank you, Papa.”   
  
“Keep that information private, if you would.”   
  
“Of course.”   
  
With that, Gabriella was gone. 

* * *

“Holy shit, are you kidding me?”  
  
“She has to be, that’s so wild.”   
  
“I cannot give many details, but ... I assure you, it was a horrifying ordeal,” Gabriella lamented. “He was so very callous and rude -- to _Papa,_ of all people!”   
  
“Man, I’m surprised he left alive,” Matthew remarked. He laughed as he ate a few of his dried apple slices. Greg made a face at the spittle and scooted his chair closer to the dresser.   
  
“Hey, careful, don’t knock any of my pics over!” Jenny said as she sipped at her jasmine tea. “Man, Gabriella, this tea is good. Where did you get it?”   
  
“I had it delivered to me,” Gabriella said truthfully. Her answer was distant -- her distraction was obvious.   
  
Gabriella had never been in someone else’s room before. It was strange to see the stark differences in Jenny’s room compared to her own. Jenny had so many trinkets and photos strewn about her living quarters. The moonlight from her window above her bed streamed in to show the galaxy pattern on her bedding, most likely also brought from home.   
  
Each of the photos showed some friends -- at least, she assumed so. Either that, or it was family. She was embarrassed to admit how many sneaky glances she took. No one had ever taken her picture ...   
  
“You okay, Gabriella? I mean, you were screamed at,” Jenny said with concern. She gently patted Gabriella’s arm. “That’s gotta be scary.”   
  
“It was, I admit, but ...” Gabriella smiled. “I was able to get through it.”   
  
Knowing Papa was proud of her was more than enough. The fact that Papa had asked for her help ... it still sent her over the moon, even so many hours later. It felt wonderful to be important in some way. If she could, she’d cling to this feeling forever.   
  
Matthew offered some of the dried apple slices to Gabriella, who took a few. “Where did you get these?”   
  
“Brought ‘em in from outside. They don’t expire anytime soon, so I’ve been saving ‘em for shit like this. For friends!”   
  
“You cheesy shit,” Greg quipped. He promptly got smacked with the half-empty bag of dried apple slices. “But, seriously, good job. Sucks you can’t tell us more and all, but I get it. Ghoul stuff, right?”   
  
“One could say that,” Gabriella said carefully. “With the oath we ghouls take ... if we are asked to do things, we have to. It is a compulsion. If we are told to not tell people things, we cannot physically tell them. Not even my mother can tell me information if she was told to keep it in the dark.”   
  
“That’s messed up.” Matthew frowned. “So there’s like, no free will and stuff?”   
  
Gabriella bristled. Had she said too much? Humans would find this rather unnerving, come to think of it. Anxiety clawed at her, and she began to fidget with the hem of her shirt.   
  
“If ... if I wanted to leave, I would, so ...”   
  
“So it’s all good?” Matthew asked. “You’re okay?”   
  
“I am all right, do not worry. But please do not mention that I said anything.”   
  
“You got it, girl,” Jenny said with a grin. “We’re not snitches. Besides, if what you’re saying is true, then we’re allowed to do that sort of thing even though you can’t, right? Not like we took a ghoul oath or whatever. We’re humans.”   
  
The trio of humans laughed. Gabriella just giggled quietly before falling silent again. The conversation started up again, but Gabriella only listened.   
  
Was this all right? It was what she was used to, but if they were freaked out by the oath, maybe it was worse than she thought. Her mother always treated it so casually, but maybe that was because it was her life ...? She had no idea anymore. With Papa today, it was one thing, but with everything else ...   
  
How many times was she going to have to lie to the people she cared about?   
  
“Oh, shit, it’s almost time for curfew.” Jenny waved her phone around, showing the time in bright neon numbers. 10:55. “Everyone get your asses to bed, I don’t want to get in trouble.”   
  
“You got it!” Matthew shoved the bag of dried apples over to Jenny and leapt out of his seat. “We’ll meet up tomorrow, okay?”   
  
“Perhaps,” Gabriella said. “I know I might have some cleaning duties to attend to. I am normally assigned to that in the evenings during the weekends.”   
  
“We’ll see you when we see you, then!” Jenny rose from her seat and stretched out, letting out a satisfied sigh as she did so. “Just keep us updated, all right?”   
  
“Yes -- I mean, sure.” Gabriella shifted about and got up from the chair, letting Greg and Matthew leave first. Her head still swam with morbid thoughts, even as she waved cheerfully at Jenny.   
  
She left the room with the remaining jasmine tea and a clouded mind.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriella goes for a stroll through Papa's garden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! I'm posting this a bit early to make up for my blunder last time, and also ... 
> 
> **Like Smoke will be going on a two to three week hiatus, starting from today.** I have not run out of chapters, but I haven't had the chance to work on more since Camp NaNoWriMo. I have other fics to finish AND I want to do some Halloween stuff for the season, too. So this is my way of making sure I don't run out of content while getting ahead.
> 
> Thanks for understanding, and enjoy!

The rain had given way to a wonderful, sunny day. It was such an improvement over yesterday. Multiple Siblings of Sin were out and about outside, singing, dancing, playing. Some were just reading. Some attended to their duties and then rushed outside immediately after, desperate to feel the sun’s rays on their face.   
  
Gabriella was one of the ones wandering outside in the back of the abbey. There were fewer people here; the only chatter she could hear were from the songbirds nearby. They chirped happily and sang cheerfully as they flew by, aided by the gentle breeze that made the branches and leaves sway.    
  
She had a smile on her face as she wandered about. This was such a picturesque day -- something they could put on a pamphlet and use to show off how beautiful home truly was. These days rarely came in this season. With her work done and the whole afternoon ahead of her, why not take advantage of it?    
  
The grass came up beyond the edge of her flats, tickling her skin. She jumped every time it happened, but also laughed. It was such a strange feeling, one she would never get used to, but it was wonderful nonetheless.    
  
This was a perfect way to spend the time before going to the library. She and Jenny had arranged a study session, and she had been looking forward to it all day. Gabriella couldn’t wait -- the idea of staying in the library until the sun went down, flicking through book after book ... it was the most wonderful infernal bliss she could imagine.    
  
On she went down the long pathway, taking deep breaths to really take in the fresh air. She took in all the beautiful sights around her, drinking in the view of the greenery. More and more flowers were showing up, all in vibrant colors. She paused, perplexed. Were these flowers native to this area?    
  
Gabriella strode towards a particularly vibrant red rose bush. It looked so perfect against the wall of the abbey, and others were growing beside it. All of its flowers had bloomed, and had just been watered very recently; water droplets still fell from the delicate petals. Gabriella leaned in, inhaling slow and deep, treasuring the smell.    
  
Then, she moved on.    
  
The sound of digging caught her attention. Gabriella let herself stray from her intended path, off towards the side of the ... garden. Was this the garden? It had grown so much since she had last seen it! Multiple flowers of all kinds had bloomed now, and some were more organized than others. But this was ... this ...    
  
A figure stood out, one that was close by. He was wearing a massive sun hat to protect himself from the harsh rays and wore simple clothing -- a long-sleeved green shirt and brown pants. Sturdy boots dug into the grass, keeping him immobile.    
  
When he lifted his head, Gabriella nearly gasped.    
  
_ ‘Papa!’  _   
  
He did mention that he worked in his garden at this time of day. Gabriella’s heart raced. She took a few steps back, very cautious. Now that she knew that she was in Papa’s garden, she had to be especially careful. She had heard horror stories of ghouls that had carelessly treaded on and ruined his flowers.    
  
She stepped to the side, careful to avoid the row of jasmine plants, and then began to walk by slowly. Hopefully, he would notice her and say hello. Maybe he’d even show her ...    
  
_ ‘Do not get your hopes up,’ _ she chided to herself.  _ ‘He is working. It is highly unlikely.’  _   
  
Still, Gabriella couldn’t help but hope. She puffed out her chest, hid her arms behind her back, and walked in a confident manner that was foreign to her. Maybe he would take notice of the way her hair swayed in the wind, or how her flats sounded against the grass ... She had almost passed him entirely and he hadn’t said anything. Her heart sank, and she resigned herself to moving on.    
  
Some movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention.   
  
“Ah, Gabriella,” Papa said warmly. “Good afternoon.”    
  
He had noticed her! Gabriella beamed as she turned to face him, arms still behind her back. Her hands clenched together tightly. “Good afternoon, Papa,” she said softly.    
  
There was an awkward silence. Papa cleared his throat to break it.   
  
“Have you finished your duties for today?”   
  
“Yes, Papa. I have cleaned the dining hall.”    
  
“And ... everything else?”   
  
“That is all I was tasked to do today.”   
  
“I see.” Papa nodded. “Very good, then. Do you have any plans this afternoon?”    
  
What a casual question. Gabriella was stunned into silence for a moment, now unable to remember her own schedule. There had been something, but what did it matter? Papa was talking to her as ... an equal? She wasn’t sure of that, but ... normally he didn’t ask that, right?    
  
“Oh, I, ah ...” Gabriella swallowed the lump in her throat and tried again. “I am going to the library to see a friend of mine soon, and I have dinner with my mother this evening.”    
  
“Ah, yes, Epsilon ... a lovely woman. She helped me study in the library numerous times when I was a child. Is she well?”   
  
“She is, yes. I have noticed nothing amiss.”   
  
“Wonderful.”    
  
This silence clawed at Gabriella. She wanted to say more so desperately, but none of it felt right. None of this felt right! How could she stand here and distract Papa when he was so busy with his gardening? How could she even dare to?   
  
She bowed her head, fighting back a frown. It wouldn’t be proper.    
  
“If there is nothing else, Papa,” she stammered, “I ... I need to go to the --”    
  
“Before you leave ...” Papa looked Gabriella in the eye. He had such a kind, gentle smile on his face. “... would you like to see how I plant a lily?”    
  
“Oh, of course. Yes -- I mean -- yes.” Gabriella walked past the line of just-planted lily bulbs and crouched next to him. She felt the heat radiating from his body, and couldn’t help but move just a bit closer. He didn’t stop her. The fabrics of their respective shirts nearly touched.    
  
“The soil dried well here after the rain,” Papa explained. “So I chose this spot for them. On top of that, there is plenty of sunlight here.” Papa continued to dig at the soil, humming merrily to himself as he did so. Gabriella shut her eyes as she listened, allowing herself to be carried away by the sweet sound of his voice.    
  
It was such a shame when he stopped, but even just his speaking voice calmed her so much. She treasured every word meant just for her ears.    
  
“... and with the soil deepened to thirteen inches, that allows the lily to take root properly.” Papa took the lily bulb and reached down to gently place it in the dug hole. Gabriella peered over his shoulder and watched with wide, curious eyes. He treated the plants with such care and respect; it only made her admire him more. She took in one more breath -- a shallower one this time -- and still smelled that sandalwood scent even now. He didn’t reek of it anymore, but it was definitely there.    
  
She quickly leaned back, blushing deeply.    
  
Mercifully, he seemed to not notice her indiscretion. He simply carried on talking. “I had to make sure the pointy side is up when I planted it. I am sure you noticed that,” Papa explained. “And with that, we refill the soil ...”    
  
He began to scoop up the soil and put it right back where it had been, carefully padding it down as he did so. Despite his best efforts, there was still a mound of the soil itself. Papa quickly began to tamper it, resuming humming as he did so. Gabriella watched still, taking all of it in. As it was, she would never be allowed to plant a lily -- Papa valued his garden too much to let anyone else plant something -- but it was still something he trusted her with.    
  
“Of course, make sure it is tamped down, as I am doing here.” As soon as the soil was evened out, he grabbed the nearby watering can. “And with lilies, you must water them copiously. So, we water them now, even just after we plant them ...”    
  
He tipped the watering can over and didn’t let up until the soil was dark brown.    
  
“There.” He set down the watering can and sat back, letting out a small, exhausted sigh. His smile, however, was a satisfied one. “... and as you can imagine, this is very hard work. I have been doing this all morning.”   
  
“Do not overexert yourself, Papa!” Gabriella exclaimed. She instinctively reached out to touch his shoulder, but managed to recoil just in time. “You must have energy for later.”   
  
“Paperwork is only tedious. Not exhausting.” Papa chuckled in a deep baritone that left Gabriella nearly breathless. “I will have plenty of energy for it, I promise you.”    
  
“A-All right. That is good, then. You just already work so hard ...”    
  
Papa patted Gabriella’s hand, but didn’t pull it back immediately. Gabriella almost reached for him again when he did so, but remained still. Instead, she simply observed Papa. He looked so relaxed with his slack shoulders and how soft his gaze was.    
  
“Gardening is my one refuge away from papal duties,” he said. “While it is hard work, I love every moment of it. It is ... lovely, to help something grow and bloom. I almost feel like I am a parent to each and every plant in this garden.”   
  
Gabriella looked on fondly, unable to help a smile. He sounded so ... tender, so caring. Just like he did at his sermons.    
  
“How long have you been gardening, Papa?”    
  
“Oh, about ... forty years. This has been a long-time passion of mine.”   
  
“I never knew.”    
  
“Many do not. They only know to not tread in the garden. Which, to be honest, is fine with me. I know me. I do not feel compelled to share my true self with others unless I wish to.” Papa glanced over at Gabriella with that same warm smile. He lowered his voice before adding, “Not many people get the chance to hear about this.”    
  
“I am honored, then.”    
  
“No honor needed. I am not your Papa right now.”    
  
They stared at each other for a long moment. Everything around them seemed to fade -- the song of the birds, the gentle breeze, the plants ... it was almost like all she could see was him. Gabriella found herself leaning forward. They were so close -- she could feel his breath on her lips, and just as he started to close the distance ...    
  
“Papa!”    
  
Both of them jolted back to reality; the ice cold voice of Sister Imperator had a way of doing that. They shared one last longing look, and then Gabriella bolted up to sprint away. There was no time to even say goodbye -- she simply couldn’t be seen with him. Even so, she felt as light as a feather as she glided across the grass.    
  
That is, until Sister’s voice sounded much closer.    
  
“Ah, Gabriella. Good. I have some work for you to do,” Sister said. Gabriella froze in place, arms rigid. Sister was right in front of her, staring down at her with the steely gaze she usually had. It seemed harsher this time, but Gabriella couldn’t say for sure. She tried to stop panting, tried to will her reddened face to a more neutral hue, but ...    
  
“Y-Yes, Sister, of course.” Gabriella dipped her head. “What is it you require of me?”    
  
“You need to go to Gamma and assist one of the new Siblings. He is far too busy to play host to them. You can show her the grounds in his place.”   
  
“I would be happy to,” Gabriella said cordially.   
  
Internally, she felt a strong bitterness. Jenny would surely wonder where she went, but it wasn’t like she had time to tell her before giving the Sibling a tour of the grounds. Maybe she would realize what had happened when she showed the Sibling the library. It was all she could hope for.    
  
Gabriella turned and began to walk off as quickly as possible.    
  
“And Gabriella?”    
  
She stopped again and looked over her shoulder to Sister. “Yes, Sister?”    
  
“I saw you in Papa’s garden.” Gabriella went rigid once again. “I hope it was just passing through and you weren’t lingering.”    
  
Gabriella remained silent.    
  
“I would not want to distract from Papa’s work,” she said carefully. “I would never dream of it.”   
  
“Good. Now go on.”    
  
Another warning. She was sure that’s what it was. As scary as it was, it didn’t quite register. How could it have, when Papa had almost kissed her again -- in broad daylight, no less? No, surely they had to be more careful.    
  
But couldn’t she enjoy it? Just for a little bit? It was all she wanted. It didn’t seem like she was asking for much ... was she?   
  
_ ‘Focus on your work. You cannot disobey Sister.’  _   
  
Gabriella clenched her fists as she wound down the numerous hallways towards the reception desk.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriella's head is in the clouds -- she's forced back down to Earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Here we are again, things will resume as normal now. 
> 
> Like Smoke will be my project for NaNoWriMo, so I'll be working on it diligently!

Lunch was always very noisy. The dining hall was packed with Siblings of Sin, all of them having their own conversations amongst each other as they ate. Gabriella, finally, wasn’t an exception anymore.    
  
While she enjoyed admiring the multiple chandeliers that hung from the ceiling and the way the light flooded in from the massive windows in the dining hall, it got boring to watch after the first decade or so. There was only so much architecture one could admire before finally feeling left out.    
  
This conversation, though, wasn’t her ideal one.    
  
“... so did you hear about what happened with Jackie?”   
  
“Oh no, what happened?”   
  
“She got caught staring at a ghoul like ... she really wanted him. Making lewd remarks to her friends too.” Matthew cringed. “I mean, I respect them and all, but I have no idea how anyone could want to fuck a demon. I mean -- no offense, Gabriella.”   
  
“None taken,” Gabriella said.    
  
“But she got caught and got chewed out for it. I find it sort of weird they’re so strict on that, don’t you?”    
  
“I mean, they weren’t before, from what I hear? Maybe something happened.”    
  
Gabriella silently ate her sandwich as she listened. While it wasn’t an unreasonable discussion, she felt rather put out by it. She much preferred to think of earlier this week -- when she was with Papa in the garden, sitting so close, smelling him and listening to him talk ...    
  
“... maybe it’s because it was a higher ranking ghoul?” Greg offered.   
  
“Oooooh, shit, was it one of those?”   
  
“Yeah, I think it was Alpha, come to think of it. I’m starting to get to know them because of seeing them on tours so much.” Greg munched on his own sandwich -- Lucifer knows what he put in that behemoth -- and continued. “About his height, and he walked like Alpha. So maybe it was Alpha.”    
  
“Oh shit, no wonder,” Matthew murmured. “Yeah, those guys are like, untouchable. We can’t fuck with them at all. Or, uh, you know,  _ fuck _ with them.”   
  
“Yes, it is rather looked down upon,” Gabriella said firmly. She stared at the table as she spoke, and thus was oblivious to the startled looks from the rest of her group. “While I am the result of a human and a ghoul mating, my mother was a lower-ranking ghoul. Humans cannot distract the important work of higher-ranked ghouls or Papa himself.”    
  
“What, so we preach about fuckin’ and not living in fear but we can’t do that shit? I mean, I guess that makes sense, but that sounds pretty hypocritical on the surface.”   
  
“There are reasons for it, I assure you. I have seen many things in my decades of life.”    
  
This was a good cover. This would protect her, of that she was sure. If they knew her to be a stickler for the rules, maybe ... maybe she could worry less. Maybe she could let herself enjoy her near-liaison with Papa just a little while longer. Even now, her mind swam with the fond memories.   
  
“Damn, make sure to tell us what you’ve seen sometime. That sounds mysterious as hell.”   
  
Jenny nudged Matthew and hissed something that sounded like ‘ghoul oath, remember?’ Gabriella didn’t quite hear her, nor did she care. She continued to eat, reminiscing about Papa.    
  
A sudden tap on her shoulder startled her out of her daydreaming. Gabriella looked up to see Susanna. She had a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, but looked as professional as ever otherwise. She had a bagged lunch in one hand.    
  
“Hey, Gabriella. Sorry to steal you away during lunch, but ...”    
  
“Aw, c’mon, Susanna!” Matthew pleaded. “She’s been swamped with work lately!”    
  
“She’s about to get swamped with more. You can bring the sandwich if you want. C’mon.”    
  
Gabriella mumbled her apologies to the group as she stood and grabbed her plate. She hurried after Susanna down familiar halls, some she recognized, some she knew she wasn’t supposed to. Susanna was walking quite fast -- had something happened? Gabriella struggled to keep up, but not by much.    
  
Susanna wound down the halls until she got to her office; she didn’t even pause to see if Gabriella was behind her. She leaned down and unlocked it with the key, then went inside. Gabriella rushed after her.    
  
The room wasn’t immaculate, but it was far better than it was. Papers weren’t strewn about the floor anymore -- only books were. The desk was tidied up somewhat, with only a few stacks of paperwork rather than a mess of it.  _ ‘Maybe Sister had finally complained,’ _ Gabriella idly thought.    
  
“Go ahead and make yourself comfortable, we’ve got a lot to talk about.”    
  
Gabriella shut the door carefully and was sure to lock it behind her.    
  
“First thing, I’m clearing your schedule tomorrow so you can help me clean this up.” Susanna gestured vaguely at her office as she sat down. She began to unbag her lunch as she talked. “I figured I should take you up on that offer you made a while ago.”    
  
“I will be happy to help,” Gabriella said earnestly. She sat in a chair across from Susanna, still holding what remained of her sandwich. “It is much better than cleaning windows.”   
  
“Don’t doubt that for a second. Why do they even make you do that? You’re so short.”    
  
“I was wondering that myself.” Gabriella frowned as she polished off the sandwich. The crisps on the side were untouched -- and she wouldn’t start them now. Not while talking to Susanna, of all people.    
  
“I have an idea about that, actually. Scoot a bit closer?”    
  
Gabriella did so.    
  
Susanna lowered her voice to a hiss as she said, “Sister’s onto you.”    
  
Gabriella clutched her plate tightly, white-knuckled. It was one thing when Sister warned her -- she almost laughed that off, but to hear Susanna say it ... it wasn’t a passive-aggressive jab. It was clear. It was a direct warning rather than a laced statement that was meant to be interpreted.    
  
“Look, I know you like the guy, but you have to be more careful. You want to know what happened?” Susanna unwrapped her apple and took a bite of it. The few seconds that she spent chewing nearly sent Gabriella into a tailspin. “I was called into a meeting with her today. Scared me shitless, I’m telling you, because it’s either really good or really bad if Sister calls you. Nothing in between.”    
  
Gabriella knew that very well -- and was grateful that she had only been called for praise that one time.   
  
“So she asks me if anything happened on tour. I ask her what is she talking about, because things went as planned, right? We recruited people, you’re more confident, everything’s good.” Susanna shrugged as casually as she could manage. “What she tells me is that she’s noticed strange behavior from you.”    
  
“I ...”    
  
“Strange behavior like lingering in Papa’s garden. Strange behavior like you being in la-la land all the time. You’re not acting like yourself, and she’s noticed.”    
  
Cold reality washed away the warm daydream Gabriella had cocooned herself in. The office suddenly seemed much darker, much ... scarier. She trembled in her seat, knees nearly knocking together. The plate clattered against the edge of the desk.    
  
“So I listened. I pretended to think about it. And you want to know what I said, Gabriella?” Susanna leaned forward. The apple laid forgotten, with only one bite taken out of it. Susanna’s fingers steepled as she rested her head on them.    
  
“W-What?”   
  
“I lied to Sister.”    
  
Gabriella’s throat went dry.    
  
“I lied to Sister and told her nothing had happened on tour. Do you want to know why, Gabriella?”    
  
Gabriella nodded mutely.    
  
“I meant it when I said I’d be taking you under my wing -- even if Sister regretted it later. I did this because I know that if word got out about this, you’d be killed.”    
  
It was then that Gabriella burst into tears. Her whole body shook with her sobs, and her tears fell on the uneaten crisps. Even just looking at them made her feel nauseous. Why would Susanna risk herself like that? Lying to Sister -- it was a huge crime in of itself, but lying about something like this ... Oh, Lucifer below, what had she done? Why had she been so selfish?    
  
“Susanna --” Gabriella choked out in between heaving sobs. “I am -- I am so sorry --”   
  
“Hey, hey, hey, hey.” Susanna got up from her chair and rushed to Gabriella’s side, holding her tightly. Gabriella leaned into the embrace. “Breathe, Gabriella. Breathe. You’re gonna be okay. I’ll make sure of it.”    
  
“But what if -- what if --”   
  
“This is a risk I chose to take,” Susanna said. “You don’t get to question it.”    
  
Gabriella nodded against Susanna’s shoulder, face wet with tears. She clung to Susanna’s shirt, uncaring that her plate fell onto the floor. It shattered on impact with the stone, scattering the sandwich crumbs and the crisps.    
  
“I did not -- I just -- Susanna, I don’t want to die!” Each word had to be forced out. The mere act of speaking seemed like sacrilege now, but Gabriella pressed on. “Please, I don’t want to die, I don’t ...”    
  
“You’re not going to die, Gabriella,” Susanna soothed. She stroked her hair tenderly, almost like her mother would have. Oh, her mother -- her mother -- “You’re going to be fine. I know this because you’re going to be careful. Right?”    
  
“Yes,” Gabriella whimpered. “I will be more careful. I promise. I just don’t -- I don’t want to have the same fate as --”    
  
She wailed, pulling Susanna closer and continuing to cry it all out. All Susanna could do was continue to hold her, even as Gabriella’s form started to wisp and curl into a formless smoke in some places.

* * *

The walk back to her room was a blur.   
  
Gabriella hardly remembered her breakdown from earlier. All she could recall was a shattered plate, having to clean it up, getting a token scolding from Susanna ... and then being sent on her way. She knew that she had to be back there at 10 AM sharp to help her clean the office. But everything else seemed unimportant.    
  
She didn’t want to die.    
  
Gabriella opened the door to her room, all but collapsing on the bed. Her face was red, even with the best glamour she could manage at the time. It seemed best to hide it right now. The last thing she wanted was for Matthew, Greg, or Jenny to see her like this. Surely they’d wonder where she went, but why did it matter?    
  
Nothing mattered.    
  
The world seemed cold again. Every single light didn’t cast any warmth; everything was dour, muted, and lifeless. All that mattered was her work. The work she did was the only thing she could take pride in, and she had nearly thrown it away for something so risky. How could she dare to even breathe right now?    
  
Never mind Papa ... Susanna had insisted that he wouldn’t get in nearly as much trouble, but guilt still weighed heavily on Gabriella’s conscience. Papa, her beloved Papa ... the one who had stroked her hair, spoken to her as a near-equal, made her feel safe -- it wasn’t safe at all, was it? No.   
  
Gabriella began to sob into her pillow again, but was interrupted by a couple of delicate knocks.   
  
“Gabriella, dear? You left your door open.”    
  
Her entire body seemed to deflate with relief when her mother entered the room. Epsilon closed the door behind her and walked over to Gabriella’s bed, sitting on the corner of it. Gabriella felt the weight of her formless body on the bed.    
  
“... Are you all right? You don’t seem very good right now.”    
  
“I will be all right,” said Gabriella, muffled by her pillow. “It will be fine.”    
  
“You don’t sound fine at all,” her mother pointed out. “This is the worst I’ve heard you since training. What happened, honey?”    
  
Oh, Lucifer, what could she tell her mother? How could she even begin to tell her what had happened? If she told the whole truth, her mother would have to report it to Sister; she’d have no choice. She wouldn’t want to do that to her ... or herself. It would be a death sentence.   
  
Gabriella shifted and sat up, unable to look at her mother.    
  
“I have ... I have made a huge mistake,” Gabriella said shakily. “I have put myself in danger, and people I care about in danger too.” She didn’t resist when her mother scooted over and pulled her into a non-rib-crushing hug. Gabriella sagged against her mother like a limp doll.    
  
“What kind of mistake? Is it something I can fix?”    
  
“... Would you hate me if I said I could not tell you?”   
  
Silence.    
  
“I’d be confused, I’d be a bit hurt ...” Epsilon began. “... but I know you, Gabriella. I know you better than anyone. And you’d never, ever keep something from me unless you had to.”    
  
Gabriella mutely shook her head.    
  
“I know, honey. I know.” She began to rub Gabriella’s back soothingly, keeping her as close as she could manage. Her mother felt so cold, just like the air during an early winter morning, but it always relaxed her and made her feel at home.    
  
“I am so sorry, mother.”    
  
“I am too. I don’t know what you got mixed up in, but I don’t want my daughter hurt. So ... whatever mistake you made, don’t repeat it, okay? I can’t lose you.”    
  
Once again, Gabriella nodded. Words weren’t coming to mind; all she could do was sit there, mindlessly accepting her mother’s comfort, as listless as she had ever been. Thoughts floated in and out, drifting -- and every time she tried to grab hold of one, it slipped through her fingers.    
  
Gabriella couldn’t fight back the tears that started to run down her already-red face. When her glamour faded entirely, she hugged her mother tighter, even as her arms almost went through her.    
  
“I am so sorry.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriella opens up to Susanna about someone.

Gabriella remained quiet as she cleaned up Susanna’s office.   
  
Susanna was there helping, of course. She was focusing on organizing all the books that Gabriella had picked up from the floor. She hemmed and hawed to herself as she shelved and re-shelved numerous tomes.   
  
“I think I’ll put that one here ... yeah, that one there ...”   
  
“I have another few books here, Susanna,” Gabriella said softly. She dutifully placed them on the much cleaner desk. Gabriella allowed herself to admire their handiwork for just a few seconds; all of the papers had their own organized stacks now, and they even had their own filing places based on completion. A filing cabinet, brand new to the office, now sat at the right side of the room.   
  
It was all shaping up rather nicely. Gabriella knew it was dangerous to feel pride, but she let herself do so anyhow.   
  
“Good work. Keep it up.”   
  
They continued to work in absolute silence, save for the rustling of papers and the sound of books being slid into their place. It would almost be peaceful if there wasn’t a hanging question in the air.   
  
_‘You don’t want the same fate as who?’_   
  
Gabriella knew she’d have to answer sometime soon, but she didn’t want to. Not right now, at least. It could wait until they were done cleaning up. Gabriella began dusting the area around her, coughing once in a while as dust was kicked up.   
  
“You okay?”   
  
“Yes, I am.”   
  
Gabriella continued to dust vigorously, desperate to throw herself into her work. It was better this way. If she just worked and worked and worked, then she wouldn’t be distracted anymore. It would be safe for her and everyone around her. Everything would be fine.   
  
“See if you can get under the desk with that. I think it’s going to be pretty bad there.”   
  
“Yes, Susanna.”   
  
More silence. More time to think. Gabriella’s mind wandered as she dusted under the desk, only interrupted by hacking coughs. Susanna hadn’t been lying; it really _was_ dusty under there. At least she fit under here, though. Maybe instead of windows, she could mention how she could get into small spaces other ghouls couldn’t? It’d keep her valuable, or at least make her more useful. It would ensure her staying alive for at least a while longer.   
  
“... Oh, fucking hell, I can’t take this anymore.” Susanna set the books on the ground, dusting off her hands. “Gabriella, I’ve got a question. And this is a serious one.”   
  
“Y-Yes, Susanna?” Gabriella cursed herself at how her voice faltered. She knew this was coming -- why was she so startled by it?   
  
“While we were talking yesterday, you mentioned you didn’t want the same fate as someone. I wasn’t going to try to push you, not while you were like that, but ... I can’t really help you if I don’t know what that’s about.”   
  
Gabriella stayed under the desk for a few precious seconds, praying that the void would swallow her whole. When it didn’t, she spoke. “... I would much prefer to be sitting down, if that is all right. With you next to me.”   
  
“I can do that.”   
  
Susanna grabbed the chair from behind the desk and put it next to the one Gabriella usually sat in and sat down. Gabriella shuffled out from under the desk, which was much easier due to the extra room, and soon took her place next to her. She set the duster on the ground.   
  
“You have noticed that my father is not around,” Gabriella said softly.   
  
“Oh, hell, I had. I just thought that, I don’t know, he screwed off or something.” Susanna pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled slowly. “It’s not that simple, is it?”   
  
“No, it is not.”   
  
As much as she wanted to stop right here, Gabriella knew that Susanna was right. There wasn’t any way for her to fully understand her without knowing this. So she took a deep breath to prepare herself. Her hands clenched together tightly in her lap.   
  
“My father was a good man,” Gabriella began. “He was the human. His name was Robert. He was very tall, had my eyes, and had my hair -- just much shorter. He had a strange accent none of us could place. He usually wore oddly patterned shirts. It was apparently because he liked how tacky they looked.”   
  
“Sounds like a decent guy.” Susanna’s voice was oddly tense, but Gabriella couldn’t ask why. If she stopped now, she wouldn’t be able to continue. For now, she brushed off the oddity.   
Gabriella brushed off Susanna’s remark. If she stopped now, she wouldn’t be able to continue.   
  
“My mother fell in love with him after numerous study sessions in the library. No one thought their union would mean much of anything, since it was two low-ranking people. While people were ... confused, they let it happen.”   
  
Gabriella shifted in her seat. “They had me, and people were even more shocked. It was not thought that void ghouls and humans could have children, let alone half-breeds. It was not looked upon favorably, but they kept me regardless and decided to raise me. It was difficult with their workloads, but they somehow made it work. It was fine for a while. I played until I was old enough to train, and then ... I trained.”   
  
“Wait, so when did you start training for your job?”   
  
“When I was ten.”   
  
“Oh, hell.” Susanna rubbed her temples with her free hand. “That shouldn’t have happened. What in the name of ...”   
  
“My father felt that it was wrong, too, but he was overruled.” Gabriella sighed softly. “After I was born, he began to question a lot of things. How my mother was treated, the system we have here, how our teaching matches Lucifer’s ideals ... all of it. And apparently he was very, very vocal about such things.”   
  
“That’s dangerous.”   
  
“Very.” Gabriella shifted in her seat. The freshly-dusted floor felt somewhat satisfying to stare at, but she just knew she couldn’t look at Susanna right now. It would make this much harder. “So ...”   
  
“So?”   
  
“So he got more and more angry the more and more I worked. Sister and other ghouls said this was supposed to happen with ghouls. He said I was a child, and should not have been working this early. They were displeased with him and began to shun him. It was a very hard time for my mother.”   
  
Gabriella remembered those times very well. No one in the abbey spoke to her much. Younger humans avoided her like the plague, as well. All she could really do to entertain herself was wander around or play with her mother and father when they were available.   
  
Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Gabriella smiled at what else came to mind.   
  
“I spent a lot of time in the library,” she reminisced. “Reading, reading ... reading so much. The books raised me almost as much as my parents did. It helped me not be so lonely.” Gabriella laughed, a soft, sad laugh. “I do not get to read as often anymore, however.”   
  
“We can go later if you want,” Susanna offered.   
  
“I might take you up on that.”   
  
Gabriella took a breath -- just for a moment. It was precious time to collect herself.   
  
“Eventually, someone decided that he was talking too much. He was starting to speak actively against the way the church was run. Both my mother and I wanted him to stop, but he refused. He said that I was not being treated fairly or right.”   
  
“I mean, he’s a dad. That’s what dads do. They look after their kids.” Susanna reached out towards Gabriella, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing. “He was just doing the best he could.”   
  
“We lost him because of that. My mother went to greet him one day, and he was just ... gone.” Gabriella gripped her knees, trembling. “We both looked for him. I called for him. She did, as well. We were running around the abbey. Eventually, someone took pity on us. We were pulled aside by a ghoul, and were told that he was sacrificed that night.”   
  
Susanna’s hand flinched. She drew back, almost like she had been stung.   
  
“... Sacrificed?” Gabriella had never heard Susanna’s voice tremble before. She managed to look up, concern written all over her face. “He was _sacrificed_?”   
  
“Yes. That is how we lost him.”   
  
Susanna said nothing for a very long time. She seemed to stare at the desk absently, as if something was very, very interesting about it. Susanna stayed like that for quite a while, working her mouth in an attempt to say something -- anything.   
  
“Susanna?”   
  
“Oh -- no, I’m fine, just -- that’s shocking, that’s all.” Susanna shook her head rapidly, like she was coming out of a trance. “I knew Sister would be capable of that, but holy hell ... I didn’t think she’d actually do it.”   
  
“My mother was shocked, as well.” Gabriella turned her gaze back to the floor. “She was inconsolable for quite some time, but had to pretend she did not know what happened to him. She told me the same. We both had to ... pretend.”   
  
Susanna remained quiet for a time. Then, she broke the silence. “... No wonder this has been so hard on you. You’re having to pretend again. Like with what happened with your dad, now you have to pretend about Papa too.”   
  
“I can see why you would say that.” Gabriella shrugged. “I am used to pretending, however. It is just ... for once, I finally felt valued again. Like I was an equal. And I thought, Papa being Papa, that I would be safe. That it would be safe to not pretend for a while. And knowing it is _not_ safe, even after all this time ...”   
  
“Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I’m so sorry, Gabriella.” A pause. “Can I hug you? Are hugs okay right now?”   
  
“Of course.”   
  
“C’mon, stand up.” Susanna patted Gabriella’s back. As soon as they both stood, Susanna pulled Gabriella into a tight hug. Gabriella nearly squeaked with the force of it, but found herself hugging Susanna just as tightly.   
  
“Hey. What happened to your dad? It’s unforgivable.” Susanna almost sounded ... _angry._ There was a fire in her eyes that Gabriella hadn’t seen before. Her grip was tight, protective -- and she almost trembled with rage. Gabriella marveled at how terrifying it was. “And I’m not going to let that happen to you. I’ll make sure of it.”   
  
Gabriella sniffled, but refused to cry again. Tears wouldn’t come easily, anyways; after yesterday, it felt like she cried about thirty years’ worth of tears. All she could do was cling tighter.   
  
The world felt so unsafe. But at least she had her mother and Susanna. Some people weren’t lucky enough to have even that. It could be far, far worse.   
  
She had to remember that.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriella copes with the old status quo -- at least, for a while.

Her life went back to the status quo. Gabriella did her work at sermons, cleaned up around the abbey, went to the library once in a while, and then sequestered herself in her room. Books upon books had piled on her dresser, along with an ever-growing stack of unopened letters from Matthew, Greg, and Jenny.   
  
None of it just seemed to matter right now. All that mattered was keeping them safe, and that meant staying away from them, at least for now. She had to pull herself together.   
  
It was so shameful. Every time she saw Papa in the halls, she wanted to cry. When he dared to glance at her, eyes filled with longing and desire, she nearly broke down. But neither of them dared to do anything, even _say_ anything. It was just too risky.   
  
Despite that, every part of Gabriella wanted to rush over to Papa and just ask to be held. She wanted to feel him stroke her hair again, to whisper to her -- words meant just for her. More than anything, she wanted to feel safe in his arms.   
  
But that was too much to ask for.   
  
Weeks passed with more of the same. Those longing glances, the desire for his warmth, praying that she wouldn’t be sent off to be sacrificed. The letters continue to pile up, as did the ever-rotating books. Before she knew it, it was the night before they were meant to leave for the next tour leg. Gabriella stared at her unpacked duffel bag. She was supposed to pack now, but even just moving felt so hard.   
  
It was for work, though. Since it was for work, it had to be done. With that in mind, Gabriella began to slowly fold her clothes and pack them into the bag. The packing was suboptimal; there were some corners that weren’t utilized correctly, but everything would fit. Maybe if she rolled them ...   
  
She heard her mother even before she knocked on the door. “Gabriella? Honey?”   
  
“Come in,” she mumbled. She tried to muster some force behind it, but could only manage a shaky, soft tone. Even so, her mother entered her room and locked the door behind her. “Are you well?”   
  
“Just fine, dear,” Epsilon replied. “Need some help packing?”   
  
“I am all right.” Gabriella was shocked at how robotic she sounded -- but even that shock felt muted. She continued to pack, oblivious to her mother’s stare and the concerned hum she made. She was also oblivious to the little bag that her mother placed onto the bed. All that Gabriella could focus on was packing.   
  
“You haven’t been yourself for a while.”   
  
“I have not noticed.”   
  
“Well, of course you wouldn’t, honey.” Her mother sighed sadly. The area where her face should be flickered, the wisps trailing up to the ceiling. “I’m worried about you. Matthew’s been asking about you, you know.”   
  
“Has he?”   
  
“Yes. He’s found me in the library just to ask where you’ve been.” Epsilon hesitated, then began to rub Gabriella’s back as she continued to roll up her clothes. “You’ve made friends, Gabriella. I’m so happy you have. I don’t know what’s going on, but please don’t shut them out. They care about you.”   
  
Gabriella didn’t respond. What could she even say?   
  
Well, on second thought ...   
  
“We will be using the same bus on the tour leg,” she eventually said. “I will talk to them there and apologize. It will be rather awkward otherwise.”   
  
“Good girl. That’s the spirit.” Her mother patted her back, then tapped her shoulder. “I made a little something for you, for on the road. You’ll be gone a long time, so I want you to take a piece of home with you. It fits in your duffel bag.”   
  
“A gift?” Gabriella took the bag, carefully turning it over and inspecting it. It was somewhat square-shaped, haphazardly covered with black paper. Obvious tape held the wrapping together.   
  
“Open it!” Elision urged.   
  
Gabriella carefully tore the paper open, gasping when she saw what was inside.   
  
It was a stone from the abbey -- perhaps one that fell off? One that was loose? It had to have been replaced by now. Even so, it was an authentic stone. Carved into it was Lucifer’s sigil, painted a deep blood red to match the dark tone of the rock. Gabriella held it close to her, clutching it tightly. The amount of energy that poured from it was something else, and it was made from love.   
  
Gabriella beamed with joy. The strain of her smile almost hurt.   
  
“I absolutely adore it.”   
  
“I knew you would,” Epsilon said confidently. “I know how close you are to Lucifer. You use His name the most when swearing, at least!”   
  
“Mother!” Despite her indignation, Gabriella laughed. She paused once she realized that was the first time she had laughed in weeks.   
  
“Just put it near your bed in the hotel room,” Epsilon chirped. “You’ll quite literally have a piece of home with you!”   
  
“It is very thoughtful. Thank you so much.” Gabriella turned and hugged her mother, squeezing as tightly as she could. “I have not ... I have not owned anything since --”   
  
“Since you were very small,” Epsilon finished. “It’s a terrible failure on my part. But it’s not too late to fix that.”   
  
“I love you, mother.”   
  
“I love you too, dear.” Epsilon was the one who pulled back first with a light sigh. “All right, I should get to bed. I just came by to drop that off for you before you left. You’re going to be all right. I know it.”   
  
“Thank you. Thank you so much.” Gabriella felt tears brimming in her eyes, but managed to blink them back. Finally, something of her own that she could take with her -- and something so meaningful, no less. She picked it up again and held it in her hands, examining it even closer than before. Every little curve and bump and imperfection was absolutely amazing.   
  
It was _hers_.

The carved sigil was wrapped in one of her shirts and placed carefully in the duffel bag. By the time she had done this, her mother was gone. Gabriella wasn’t sure if she felt relieved or even lonelier. While she had gotten accustomed to the silence in her room, it seemed almost oppressive now. Once there was laughter and joy, a melancholy air didn’t quite fill the void like it used to.   
  
Gabriella set her duffel bag down on the floor and flopped on her bed. It was dark outside now -- the sliver of moonlight from her small window told her so. It was so dark. Should she bother reading? She could use the light from the moon to read, but it was always so difficult to do so. Why strain her eyes?   
  
She should probably get changed and just fall asleep. That way she’d be up and ready to go early in the morning. It would be the most sensible choice. Maybe she’d be able to have a dream of Papa -- something nice and warm, something to fill the emptiness she had gotten used to.   
  
She remembered his voice so well. He had never sounded so soft before. It was a memory she wanted to bottle and keep. Gabriella played it over and over again in her mind as she changed into her nightgown.  
  
The beginnings of a headache were forming; she recognized the pressure in the front of her head, and the throbbing pain that came along with it. Gabriella groaned softly, infuriated -- how was she going to sleep with a pounding headache? And why was this one so strong out of nowhere?  
  
 _“Gabriella ...”_  
  
The thought of Papa’s voice eased the pain of her headache.   
  
He had sounded so kind when speaking to her. She couldn’t have ever imagined being worthy of such attention. It was such a shame that they couldn’t continue what they had. But was it so wrong to long for it, even though it was selfish? Gabriella didn’t know, but any pining was clouded by guilt.   
  
_“Gabriella.”_  
  
Papa’s voice sounded so clear in her head. What a cruel joke that her mind played on her. Gabriella tried to ignore it and tried to settle into bed. She curled up under her thin blanket and wrapped herself in it as best as she could. If the thoughts were so vivid, maybe she’d be blessed with a kind dream after all.   
  
_“Can you hear me?”_   
  
... Why did his voice sound like this in her head? It’s almost like she was speaking directly to him, he sounded so close. Gabriella’s brow furrowed in confusion. She opted to cling to her pillow, resting her head against it.   
  
_‘It is just a fantasy,’_ she told herself. _‘It is nothing tangible.’_  
  
 _“This is not a fantasy.”_  
  
Gabriella jolted up in surprise. She looked around frantically, eyes wide as saucers. There hadn’t been any footsteps -- Papa wasn’t here, was he? Why would he risk walking all the way to her room when someone could see? It wasn’t a safe move, surely he wouldn’t be that stupid!   
  
_‘Am I going mad?’_ _  
_ _  
_ _“You are not.”_ _  
_  
Gabriella blinked twice, unable to wrap her head around what was happening. It sounded just like him. It had his same cadence. But it was just a voice in her head. She clutched her pillow tighter and shut her eyes.  
  
 _‘If this truly is Papa, then ... what wine did we have together in the room?’_ _  
_  
 _“Ah, a very easy question.”_ Papa’s voice sounded amused. _“A Masseto Merlot, if I recall correctly. You never did finish it.”_  
  
Gabriella’s heart leapt in her chest. Somehow, by some miracle, it was Papa. But how --?  
  
 _“I was worried that this would not work,”_ came Papa’s voice. _“Telepathy, while common, is difficult for demons when there is a significant distance.”_  
  
Telepathy. That made so much sense. Papa had spoken of telepathy numerous times, and as someone of noble blood, of course it would be a skill he had.   
  
_‘But why did you hide it? Why did you not contact me sooner?’_ Gabriella knew how pathetic that sounded, but couldn’t bring herself to care. It took so much focus just to maintain this connection, never mind filtering her direct thoughts. He could hear them anyways.   
  
_“I wanted to. Please make no mistake. But it is exhausting to maintain it from this distance,”_ Papa explained. _“Know that I cannot talk much tonight. But it will be easier when we are on the buses.”_  
  
 _‘So you have noticed Sister watching us as well.’_  
  
 _“Yes, I have.”_ Papa sounded disgusted, but resigned. Who could fight against Sister? Perhaps Grand Papa Nihil, but he never really wanted to. Gabriella could sense that in his mind, some fleeting trails that she could almost see in her head. She didn’t dare to try and press further on the matter; it only befuddled her. _“I understand why, but ... I have been even more distracted without you. I have just had to hide it.”_  
  
 _‘You were distracted as well?’_  
  
 _“Oh yes.”_ There was a pause. Gabriella could only hope it was a good pause. Maybe it was laughter, maybe it was a dreamy smile -- something. _“But I have experience with these matters. Sister is not suspicious of me, I believe. But if she wishes to watch me closely, I have to accept it. That is the price of being Papa.”_  
  
 _‘And you are a wonderful Papa,’_ thought Gabriella. _‘The best I have seen.’_  
  
 _“I will accept the compliment here, but do be careful not to say that around Nihil. He will be very put out.”_  
  
Gabriella giggled girlishly, snuggling into her pillow. Any melancholic cloud had long-vanished by now. This one conversation with Papa had reignited a spark within her, one that she surprisingly missed. _‘This is so wonderful!’_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Yes, it is.”_  
  
Gabriella flushed deeply. Right. He could read her thoughts. She had to be extremely careful. But one question nagged at her -- simply one. Why did he choose her, of all the people he could have? People of all kinds threw themselves at him on VIP tours, and sometimes he took them up on the offer. Yet, here they were.  
  
 _‘Why me?’_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I suppose I feel a kindred spirit with you,”_ Papa admitted. _“It is not a connection I feel with anyone often. That, with your work ethic ... it was impossible to not notice you.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _‘I am honored, but still confused._ ’ Gabriella smiled sadly. _‘It is just like a dream to me.’_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Workers like yourself should be honored. Not shunned. It is a system that has been in place here for quite some time -- one I do not have the power to shake.”_  
  
 _‘But you are Papa.’_ Gabriella laid back down on the bed. Her smile faded to a frown. _‘You can do anything, can you not?’_  
  
 _“If only that were the case. No, I am limited in my reach. There are some things that have been rules since before Nihil, and usurping traditions ...”_ A pause. _“In the end, Gabriella, I am here to serve Lucifer. And I will not let anything distract me from that. I must do His work and share His message with the world. That means I do not have time for much else. I am kept very busy.”_  
  
 _‘I understand.’_  
  
There was nothing else she could expect, and nothing else she wanted to hear.   
  
_‘That devotion is part of why I admire you so strongly,’_ she confessed. _‘You never waver in your faith. I wish everyone could be like you.’_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I am touched by that, Gabriella. Thank you.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _‘I am only honest, Papa. I feel like you would know if I was not being truthful.’_ _  
_ _  
_ _“You are not especially good at masking your thoughts, no.”_  
  
Gabriella giggled once again, then glanced outside. The moon was high in the sky, now, higher than she had ever seen it. She let her eyes slide shut and smiled to herself. It was quite late -- she would have to sleep soon. Surely it was the same for Papa? She’d check.  
  
 _‘You must need to sleep soon.’_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I must.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _‘Will I hear again from you tomorrow?’_ Gabriella asked. _‘This will not put you in danger, right?’_ Both questions were asked with a pleading tone, one that she hoped conveyed the seriousness of such things.  
  
She could only imagine the chuckle he had over her concern. A ghoul, worrying over Papa ... perhaps it was a bit too bold. But still, she could hardly help it. This was just as dangerous for him as it was for her -- just in different ways. If this got out, surely he would lose some of his standing? Or maybe it would be swept under the rug so he would still be taken seriously.   
  
Hopefully she would never have to find out. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to either.  
  
 _“I will blame my exhaustion on pre-tour nerves. I do not think my brother will fall for it, however. He is very observant. I will think of something else for him.”_  
  
Her shoulders drooped. Lucifer below, he was lying to his brother too? How deep would this constant lying go? He had a lot more people to lie to than she did -- his sibling, Sister, the Grand Papa, all of the ghouls ... a shiver ran through her spine at the thought.   
  
They were all powerful beings that had been around for quite some time. They were surely observant.  
  
 _‘Please be careful.’_ _  
_ _  
_ _“You as well. I hope you sleep well, my little bird.”_  
  
Gabriella’s heart skipped a beat and she gasped softly. A nickname -- for her. One he used more than once. She didn’t know how to process something so major. What should she say in return? Should she thank him? Should she tell him to not do that? What?   
  
By the time she came up with an answer, the pressure in her head had faded and she had fallen into a deep, sound sleep. 


End file.
